Thursday, March 31, 2016

love

I'm proud of who I am becoming for the most part.
Thank you for reading, for encouraging my heart.

Blessings overflow
love does too
hope is there
always hope
grace, smile on me
mercy, i need you

May my heart find joy
in Your love
love
conquer my disdain
With You the world thrives
without You it falls

God Bless,
R

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Thank you

Feels so good to know I'm not alone.
I'm grateful and humbled.
Thank you
What are you looking forward to about spring?
God Bless,
R

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

heart and human

What's on your heart today?
I struggle with fear and what-ifs.
I struggle with what tomorrow will bring.
I struggle with perfection

I am human.
I am human.
Who struggles everyday
What do I do?
Acknowledge it's there
And let God do the rest.

I don't do that enough.
Please pray that I can

God Bless,
R

Monday, March 28, 2016

Monday confessions

Confessions for a Monday

Sometimes you need someone to affirm you, to say it out loud.  After surgery, my self-esteem along with other issues has been shaky, so my ego got a boost.  I usually wouldn't be happy with my ego getting a boost, but I needed it.

I'm not used to being bold, but I'm learning. My comfort zone is being shattered, and for the first time, I'm learning it's okay to be so vulnerable.

I don't like people seeing me cry.  As I type this, I am holding tears back.

Church is good for my soul.

I am liking chocolate, more and more these days.  I'm trying to get away from my love of swedish fish and marshmallowy goodness.  Peeps are a weakness.

Amazon.com loves my wallet.

Part of loving Jesus is loving who He made you.

God Bless,
R

Friday, March 25, 2016

Good Friday

Thank you Jesus
And my thanks will never be enough.
God Bless,
R

Friday fun

Smile or grin
Spring or Summer
Paper or plastic
Green or Yellow
Scrambled or fried

God Bless,
R

Thursday, March 24, 2016

Dear Jesus

Dear Jesus,

Here is my life.  I truly didn't appreciate life before I met you.  I was consumed by what I considered my demise, Cerebral Palsy.  I blamed Your Father.  I blasphemed Your Father's Name, His creation, me. I cursed everything I could.  I felt denied, cast out.  If you loved me, why did you make me with this visible demarkations and scars.  I often wondered what love would be, seeing as I couldn't love myself.  I blamed self for something of which I couldn't change.  Right now, I weep. I grieve the loss of never truly understanding that my life will never be what I thought.  I grieve the loss of knowing that my life will always know pain in some way.  I accept this.
I have Jesus as the greatest example.
He came to Earth as a man, knew he would be loved, then scorned and bled out for those "they know not what they do."Could you do the same?
This saint is a sinner.
I've heard it said- "Love the sinner, hate the sin."
I came into the world not know Cerebral Palsy would afflict me.  It did. It has.  If Jesus can heal the any and all afflictions in the Bible. I know He can heal me.
The thing is I don't think I will be cured from this affliction.  I serve Him better in affliction.  I firmly believe this.
Do I still get frustrated that certain things require help? Yes.  But my need for help from others, also requires my need for Him.  I shouldn't say need.  When God uses other for your benefit, no matter their intent, my proud heart wants God to guide me in dealing with others. I want what I can't have.  In my shoes, instant gratification doesn't exist.
I can't hope in a car and just drive away.
I can't run and hide.
I have to face the music.

I have a good idea why you chose me this way.  Most days, I can deal.
Some days it's not happening.

Paris, one day you and I will meet.
But for today, I thank you for the people you put in the path.

Joy is knowing that my nephew, Mason, wrote about me in a sentence for his class, and I'm just grinning.

Jesus, Thank you for this post.  Your Sacrifice.

God Bless,
R

Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Pondering

i was just scrolling through Facebook, and a friend posted a quote that hit me.
"Occasionally, weep deeply over the life you hoped would be. Grieve the Losses. Then wash your face. Trust God. And embrace the life you have.
John Piper

I don't do any of this often. If I weep, it's in private.  I don't grieve.  Or if I do, I wouldn't know what it looks like. Washing my face, not even, I just use water. Trust God:  I honestly don't do this well. I question Him more than anything.  And embracing the life you have. I am trying to do that because the life I have is great, but more importantly it's the one I have. I will continue to dream, believe, and cling to the Cross.

I believe I don't weep or grieve because what good comes from it.   Does it change what's happened? I don't want to grieve because my grief may embitter me, and I have no time for that.  Washing my face, Trusting God, and embracing the life I have is difficult even if does get easier.

God Bless,
R

Travel

Favorite travel destination in the US?
Any recommendations for the Mid-Atlantic and Northeast?

God Bless,
R

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Favorites

Easter Favorites

Candy-Peeps
Food-Ham
Activity- anything with kids
Any good Easter children's books?

God Bless,
R


Prayer

Let me love You
Let me let You love me
I may not understand
I must trust
God wrap up Your World
In Your Arms
Faith, is what you ask
Please Guide us Lord
Prayers for Belgium
Prayers for hurting souls
You will soon bear a Cross
I should have
But I know Resurrection will come soon
You bore my grievance
Your blood cleansed mine.
God Bless the World
Your World

God Bless,
R

Monday, March 21, 2016

Child

My soul refreshed
My heart happy
Sometimes it's so nice to have fun and be a kid again.

The face of a child
The heart of a child
The imagination of a child

I have been news free
And it feels good
Jesus rules
I just follow along

As Easter approaches
I have to remember
He sacrificed for all
I'm to love even what I don't understand

We are all His people
Let Him love you
He is here
Everywhere

God Bless,
R

Saturday, March 19, 2016

Discomfort

I saw something on Facebook mentioning comfort zones, and I'm getting out of mine. It may be liberating, but scary too.  In the past month I have experienced all kinds of discomfort, and It's made me better.  I just pray God use my discomfort how He sees fit.
God Bless,
R

Friday, March 18, 2016

Friday fun

love or faith
Music or books
TV or Internet
Paris or Milan
Grace or Mercy
God Bless,
R

Thursday, March 17, 2016

Dreaming

Dreaming of:
A tropical vacation
Eating Easter candy
Elections being over
A hug from my niece and nephews
God Bless,
R

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Thoughts

Checking my Facebook feed or watching CNN has me resigned, upset and frustrated, so I will try to limit my use of these.
I often wonder what George Washington would think if he were alive.  Jesus too.
I am starting to read books again.
What are you reading?
It's been one month post surgery.  Getting there physically and mentally.
That first workout on the treadmill will be rough, but I need to do it.
Scars bring pain, but they bring progress as well.
In life pain is a given.
I can't wish it away.
The more I do, the more pain I experience.
I'm stubborn.  I question everything.
I accept that I have trouble with acceptance.
I accept that Mom is usually right.  Usually.
This Political Science major wasn't cut out for politics.
Nice people get swallowed whole by politics.
I don't need to be in politics to be of service.
I wanted to change the world
I still can
Just not in the way I wanted.
I wanted to escape who I was
No matter my resistance, where God is, there I will to be.
God Bless ya'll,
R

PSA

We are a divided nation. Faith versus secular. Right versus left.  City versus country.
We all come from God. We are human.  We all struggle. Politics isn't the problem. We have a compassion deficit. We fear what we don't know.  We fear what we do. We dig trenches. We build walls. We harden our hearts. I do it too.  We say we love.  Do we really?  It this offends, is there truth to it?  If I don't challenge myself, am I doing a disservice to myself and others?  Love one another, it may be the best thing you do today.
God Bless,
R

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Confession

i love trying new restaurants
Finding a good book
Indulging in wanderlust
Online shopping
Nice compliments
You?
God Bless,
R

Jesus

Faith:  more than a word.
Means different things to people
The human I am has had more crises of faith
I just pray that I look up to Jesus, the author and finisher of my faith.
God Bless,
R

Monday, March 14, 2016

love

Love trumps hate
Hope over despair
Light versus darkness

Have a great day
God Bless,
R

Sunday, March 13, 2016

What are you grateful for today

This political nonsense and division has me wanting to do something different today.
This is the Lord's day, I will rejoice and be glad in it.
What are you grateful for today?
America, even with all this mess, there is no better country in which to live.
The ability to walk.  I look at my abdomen with thanks.
The ability to express my faith.
God is still with us, we just have to look up.
The cross that invites and does not deny.

God Bless,
r

Friday, March 11, 2016

friday fun

Monaco or Morocco
sleep shirt or robe
swedish fish or chocolate
pedicure or manicure
love or hope
God Bless,
R

Thursday, March 10, 2016

Confession

I have control issues bad.  The control issues control me.
Anxiety and fear are no fun.
Perfection is a concept I know is wrong, yet still seek it.
Perfect people don't exist, yet I want to be one.
Why confess this?  Jesus knows it already, so why not.

Living each day is a task right now.
It's not always pretty.
Why do it?
You just do

You can hide for only so long before you crack
The crack become cracks, cracks become tears.
I write what I don't want you to see.
God Bless,
R

Wednesday, March 9, 2016

Teach

God is teaching me, He is.  In what way I'm seeing along the way.  Being back in this space, a space I need is welcome.  He is the Light.  I'm claiming that the darkness is lifting.  What is God teaching you?
God Bless,
R

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Thank you

I have to say thank you for the love and support yesterday on my post.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.  Means so much really.
God Bless,
R

Monday, March 7, 2016

God Bless

I have refrained from these posts for far too long.  Surgery took a physical toll, but what it did mentally, I don't know if I can explain.  I became a recluse.  As many well wishes as I had, I had too much fear, anxiety and disdain for self.  I didn't want to take pain medication, but I ended up taking it.  I lost weight.  I felt like I was existing, not living.  Some days, I still feel this.  I didn't communicate on Facebook or this blog much. I still haven't given it all to God.  This is all still so fresh.  I want to bash these keys in frustration.
God Bless,
R

Heart

Morning.  How are you?  What's on your heart today?
God Bless,
R

Saturday, March 5, 2016

Friday, March 4, 2016

Friday

Israel or Ireland
Vogue or Town&Country
Magazine or blog
Corned beef or chicken
Love or peace

God Bless,
R

Thursday, March 3, 2016

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

on your heart

How are you all today?
Thinking about love, forgiveness, hope
and fun
What is your definition of fun?
God Bless,
R