Orifice

What constrains
Me more
The braces
Or the mindless
Madness
Don't answer
I know
It's the ears

Store

I used to love shopping, and now I leave a store thinking I survived. There is nothing worse than the utter lack of decency in a shopping experience today. I've been to many a store where asking a question is seen as an inconvenience. Let me fill you in. If I'm asking, I must really know. I'm glad I look able to you, but I'm not. Stop telling me: Go find it yourself. Trust me, my pride doesn't want to ask. If I were mean I'd tell you you're in the wrong job, but I don't know your pain. I'm not naming places, I will just say the world needs a course in sensitivity training. I would shop online, but I'm trying not to isolate and become a hermit. Feign a smile. Something to let me know you care even if that's not so.

Past

As a little girl I prayed to be pretty little lithe girl. A girl who was pliable like an Olympic gymnast. I would walk on a balance beam like implement that was on the floor next to the sliding door. Too bad I couldn't make a step before clutching for the door. I had big dreams, but very unrealistic expectations. When you force your body, but your mind says heck no. When you impair truth to suit a  story, your mission fails. I can tell you how many times, I have tried to write a story that wasn't mine. I wasn't willing to play cards, and my only answer was a bitterness that inundated my soul with reservational resentment. I'm addled with it to this day. I'm not a gymnast, but my mental state has taken many tumbles and acrobatic flips for years.

Italy

Assisi
The place
I felt free
In that church
The organs playing
The holy prescence
Of Jesus
Was alive
The friendly Father
Who knew English
What a relief
The joy of locals
Brought a smile
To this harried tourist
In need of respite
From my own excitement
Assisi
Holds my heart
Like its patron saint

Slow

If I understood forgiveness, I wouldn't lay blame on what I couldn't control. Cerebral Palsy, I've known you and experienced your side effects. My youth, I knew your prescence in physical pain. I now see that the mental weight you inflict has been just as bad. I'm tired of explaining to the world that I'm slow. Let me clue you in. I know I am slow, I needn't the reminder. I will never be the hare. The tortoise is my animal. Every time I hear it, I'm taken back to a time when I wasn't picked for a team. I watched from the sidelines. I watched many a ball do a swoosh through the hoop. The playground became a place of what ifs. My safety became paramount, and all I could think is I can't  argue. I haven't climbed monkey bars. The playground became a place of false hope. Maybe next time, became maybe never. Right now I have to lay it all down. Please don't use slow around me. I'm well aware. I apologize about it. I know people can wait, but I'm tired of having to give a life story for as to why.

Directive

The heart's desire
To be one
With you
Search me
Sweet friend
Within me
Be without malice
Do not seek
Disrepair or disrespect
Do good
A simple directive
In a wayward worldview

Into the light. See

Five eye surgeries
Heel cord release
A scar down
To the left knee
Baclofen pumps
Catheter down
The spine
What you don't see
Showing you
Behind the doors
I slammed shut
Are opening
So a broken heart
A shattered soul
Can heal
Become one
Start again
And meet me
The person
Who resides here