Roar

 When anxiety 

Rises up 

In me

May a quiet

Faith roar

In response

That says

I’m here

To guide

And lead

You into

A hope

That can’t

Be dispelled 

Thoughts

 An early morning greeted me as I stepped out on the porch today, and it couldn’t be more timely. The cool rain is reminding me it’s okay to rest. My body needs it. My mind needs it. My soul needs to crave it. It’s okay not to have perfect or pretty words to describe everything. Sometimes the truth just likes to sneak up and smack you in the face. Grief and gratitude can intertwine, and I can welcome both as long as I don’t stay there too long. The human experience doesn’t guarantee ease. I’m also have to disconnect from the need to be connected online constantly. The addiction is real sometimes. I’m having to reconcile my need for perfection daily. 

My best friend told me to care but not carry. Such a simple statement. So much truth, yet so hard to do. I can do hard things. So today, I awake to nature providing new perspective and some peace. I truly wish the same for you. 

Joy

Is simply 

Putting down

What is

Now to

Heavy to bear

Hope

 Lord

Thank you

For showing me

You can still

Move a mountain

I couldn’t see past

Thank you 

For restoring hope

To a tired soul

That was wondering

If faith was even

Still visible

To the 

Naked eye

God 

You’ve always

Held in

It Your Hands

I just started

To doubt

Whether

Your silence

Was rejection

Or repudiation

Free

 On this day

Remind me

We are all human

All loved by You

And pray throughout

This blessed day

If I love not

My faith 

Doesn’t work

And that’s 

No longer

An acceptable response

When one sees me

Do they see You

That’s the question

An answer

Of this day

And every day

Love thy neighbor 

As I have loved thee

Lord, help me

Do just this

No matter 

How deep

My fear 

Or defiance

Reach

Is my heart clean

My motives pure

And most days

I can’t say

With confidence 

That it is

The Word

Must inhabit

And infiltrate

My entire being

Be blessed

And be a blessing

To a world

That is lost

And needing 

A giant hug

Thoughts

 Thank you for your love and extraordinary kindness that leaves me speechless and crying happy tears. I never thought all those years ago when I started that this would be the result. A community who loves me so much, who displays the love of Jesus so well, and willingly gives me their time. Every time my doubt rises to the surface, you come to quash it. You remind me how much He loves me, while reminding me of how much you truly care for me. It’s not lip service. It’s genuine. I feel it in every bone. What you give me makes me rich. A rich, rich girl who doesn’t know how I got so blessed to have my own cheering squad. 

I hope I never take your goodness for granted.  Thank you so much. I can’t say it enough for being the hands of feet of Jesus whether you believe or not. 

God bless you all. 

Up

 Sunday things

Happy November. October was beautiful in parts. Very hard in others. One day a time. One minute at a time. I’m learning again and again how God works in His time, not my own. It frustrates me yet leaves with tears of thankfulness at the same time. It’s confounding at times, but that’s okay. For a perfectionist, I’m having to let go daily even if I’m not good at doing it. Disability leaves me angry yet amazed in the same breath. It’s in the way He forces me to go on daily even if I think of giving up more than I should. I won’t give up, but I can’t say my mind doesn’t go there. I see the unfairness in the world, yet also its beauty. I’m a bundle of contradictions lately it seems. I won’t apologize for being human. I’ve done it so often, it’s a hard habit to break. I still wonder after all these years, if what I do matters or makes a difference. Then, I remember, it’s not my job to wonder about things above my pay grade. 

If He is pleased

Then faithfully

Continuing knowing

That the only

Audience

That really matters

Is the one

I see

When looking 

Upward

Peace

 Lord

Grant me 

Peace and perserverance

As the day 

Goes long