Eat

 Finding 

Daily joys

Is eating 

The cake 

Without 

The calories 

Unless 

The cake

Makes me

A happy 

Little camper 

goodness

 Seeking the good

Be it sunshine

A good treat

Or an

Unexpected letter

In the mail

From a 

Good friend 

Seeking the goodness

The grace

He provides

harmony

 Finding joy

In a stillness

I again

Need

For my 

Heart and soul

To unite

In harmony

moments

 Taking it

Moment by moment

And let 

The wind

Strengthen my sails

As I take

In a lungful

Of crisp, clean air

Emerging

 After a weekend of rest and time with the Source, I’ve had some realizations. 

The moment I untether from God is the moment my unhappiness begins. 

I saw something that has accurately described my mood recently. ‘My faith was in the outcome, not in Him’ When that happened, I shattered. I still can’t talk about the disappointment, but I’m starting to forgive. I had to be reminded that people may disappoint, but what happens still happens with God’s approval. I’ve wanted this dream so long, I was willing to sacrifice almost anything. God said no. Not no necessarily to the dream, but my request. Which if I’m honest wasn’t a request. It was a demand.  God doesn’t work well. 

I let the world determine my worth. 

I struggle with this. With this dream, I was sprinting to the end zone. My life is a marathon. I do nothing fast. And I mean nothing worthwhile. My doctors have had to be almost like therapists and psychiatrists. As blessed as I am, my body wasn’t meant to run. I’m the turtle. I have to remember the turtle wins. The caveat is they wait. I’m tired of waiting. God mandated I rest. It felt like my body got two full days of rest. When my body rested, my soul did too. 

I had to open up the Bible again, not use the app. 

I can’t explain the difference this has made for my soul. Highly recommend. 

Finally, I had to remember that the Omnipotent One doesn’t want me to settle even when dreaming. I was willing to sacrifice something I couldn’t afford to make it happen. I thought, I’ve got to make it happen. I have to do nothing for Him to make the outlandish dreams of imperfect children possible. I’m returning to myself slowly. I have to forgive others, but first I have to forgive myself. I have to give grace to me before I can give it away. 

Emerging from exile

Regine

joys

 Joys today

Exercise

A new TV show

Word searches

Magazines

Good rest

hoping

 Let me tell you, I’m mentally fatigued, spent, whatever word you want to use. I will keep writing because I need to for my own health. I’m just not going to sugarcoat life. Their is plenty of things to be grateful for, and I will think on those things, I also have to grieve the disappointments. I also know that He is the only Healer for what ails me. 

All this to say is that I don’t know what this place will look like going forward. And for the first time that’s okay. 

Love yourself and one another