Wednesday, November 30, 2016


No matter where I go, God is there.  He uses anything or anyone for His purposes.  I've been desensitized since the election, and for the first time I looked at the world and saw.  And I did see.  The homeless man, a lady who greeted me with a smile, and the privilege to eat a warm breakfast and not worry about the tab.  This is enough to be grateful.    And I haven't been.  I have taken the ordinary for granted.  My thoughts are skewed.  We all want to be Donald Trumps' and not enough of you.  The boy who would become my Messiah is my example.  When I look at myself, I hope you can see Him.  If not, change is my answer.  I have to trust that God is here with me, He's everywhere. My faith is lacking, my hope depleted because I've put in a source that depletes.  Man.  In all my attempts at perfection, I have failed.  When will I listen?  God tells me to be still and know that I am God, but I can't even do that.  Stillness.  We live in a world that values busyness, and work.  I've complicated stillness.  I color to keep mentally still and yet physically active.  I've equated stillness with boredom or antiquation, or both.  The fact that we can grasp a Punnett Square yet can't master stillness tells us what we treasure.  Knowledge is great, but what I need is not more computation.  What are you worth?  Are you worth another man's life?  Jesus thought so.  He needs to matter, and we have to care.  Does the homeless man matter less to Jesus?  Do I, a handicapped one matter less to Jesus? No!  And I need to say it everyday.  And i don't just need to love you in holiday times.  No.  Christ isn't only in Christmas.  He's in everything.  And, I need to remember that.  Jesus, I owe you an apology, maybe a thousand.  Forgive me for I have fallen short of everything you'd like of me.  I don't deserve you.  But You give me a merciful reprieve over and over again.  I have not loved you well.  I have not loved Your children well.

Sunday, November 27, 2016

Saturday, November 26, 2016


Fidel Castro is dead.  All i can think about is I hope he made peace with Jesus.  I will not celebrate his death or life.  God bless us all.

Friday, November 25, 2016

Friday fun

Joy or love
Faith or mercy
Leonardo or Rafael
Sweet or sticky
Rice or beans

Thursday, November 24, 2016

Grateful Grace

I am grateful for a best friend who loves when I won't, who makes see what my negativity does to me, doesn't complain when I moan for hours and reminds me I am worthy of love. To see a person you don't want to know is a reminder that brokenness can be fixed if we stop to let God do a Job not meant for us. God blessed me with a friend who gives me what I'm unwilling to give myself:  Grace. It's embarrassing to admit that she has a faith in me, I don't have in myself.  Thank you.

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving. Enjoy fun, fellowship and food.

Sunday, November 20, 2016


Church is good for the soul.  I'm thankful.  I get trapped in what I want, not what I have or need.  To be loved is everything.  And to know you're love is having no words.  I hope you know you're loved.
I love you.

Saturday, November 19, 2016

Christmas List

What I'd like for Christmas:

Christmas cards
Peace on Earth
A kindness movement
The love of Jesus to surround me

Friday, November 18, 2016

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Give it

I'm blessed.  When you take your blindfold off, and see all you have, it's hard to complain.  These weeks teach you some truths, perceived or otherwise.  America has a kindness deficit.  Compassion what's that?  Yes, I can see the generalization, and I know there is some good, but.  There is a but.  In a land of plenty it's sad that some have so little.  If I could encourage you today, find one blessing, and then pass it on.  I may not meet you, but I love you.  God does too.  Wishing the love of Christ on us all today.

Wednesday, November 16, 2016


in this season I will focus on all that is good in the world.  I'll start with me.  I thought I had to be political to make a difference.  Politics and policy don't make the world go round.  Politics makes me a person I recognize, but wish otherwise.  I wish people weren't like me.  That is wrong.  Maybe if there were more like me:  physically broken, mentally spent we would treat others better.  Maybe instead of hiding pain, I should show it.  Let you see the human in me, not some stoic being.  Maybe I've been doing you and me a great disservice.  I don't want to see the label R or D, I want to see your heart.


Favorite Thanksgiving food?

Tuesday, November 15, 2016


In being the light in the dark world, here are my thoughts.
Words hurt.  The tongue can be vicious.  Mine too.  If I speak, speak love.  If I listen, really listen.  We don't listen.  I don't listen.  If you see, see the good.  God is in the convicting business.  If I hear, hear all.  God knows all.  I lean on Him, not the world.  When you pray, pray deeply.  I'm going back to living water.  Love His people well.(We're all His people.)


Favorite food?

Saturday, November 12, 2016

Fighting fear with love

After all of this election news, i have to fight the fear with love.  Love takes breaking the walls that have guarded my heart.  It takes faith to love.  It takes being kind to love.  It takes being quiet.  It takes being still.  We are not conditioned or content when still.  Love takes vulnerability and patience, things I don't want.  Jesus Christ, help me love others as you love me.
God be with this world.

Friday, November 11, 2016

a thousand thoughts

I often wonder.  Is it worth it?  How much to say.  To say something?  Do I try?  Or give up?  I've never known how to stop fighting even I say a thousand times; I give up.  Part of me never will.  This election is a lesson I won't soon forget.
God Bless

Friday fun

crayon or pencil 
Marker or stamp
Soy or almonds 
Tennis or football
Guess or Gucci

Thursday, November 10, 2016


I've given this thought.  In the season of Thanksgiving I will say I'm thankful for Trump.  Yes, I said thankful for Trump.
This is why.
I can't and won't let others perceived notion of me get me riled.  I'm done changing you or fixing you.
I will only fight fights worth fighting.
I will not internalize the pain, it only kills me.
God calls me to more.  Plant the seed.  That's it.
I deserve better.
Like and love are two different things entirely.
I believe God loves me, and I need to act like I believe this.
My heart loves, but I am understanding what it is to guard it.
Time to love me better.


I'm still in a disbelief, but not shock.  But I have hope, and I will not relinquish that.  I have family and friends that love me enough.  I was talking to someone who is wonderful who told me I listen to understand, I don't listen to respond.  It hasn't left me.


How do you handle stress?

Wednesday, November 9, 2016


It's been a night I'd rather forget, but reality as it is Congratulations to President-elect Donald J. Trump.  It's hard to admit defeat, but I will.  I respect the will of the people even if I don't agree with it.  My faith, upbringing and more dictate such an imperative.  I have to respect the process, the Electoral College is what it is.  I fought a fight not many agreed with, but I fought.  I only want to fight a battle worth fighting.  I took this fight on knowing who I am, and even in defeat I stand knowing I gave my heart to something I wouldn't have.  I fought with a voice I refused as a child, and for that I'm proud.  I lost a battle, not the war.  Trump brought out a voice I really prayed I wouldn't want to use.  Hillary didn't lose.  I didn't lose.  The American people won.
God Bless these United States.
deflated not defeated.

Monday, November 7, 2016


When you have no control of anything, and are dependent on people, on God, you operate differently.  I'm different, always have been.  I wonder to this day if that's a good thing.  Some days, yes.  Most days, no.  I have to accept all of this.  I have to accept not all have my compassion even if they try.  I must realize God made me different in more ways than the one I focus on.  My tolerance level must increase to live in a world I don't understand or a world that makes me not want to.  I must be willing to stretch.  Just because others won't doesn't mean I should not.  Accept people as they are not as I'd like them to be.


All about me.
R's rue:  rue means street in French and R is the letter of my name. I love anything French so there you go.
In all things French:
Favorite French thing?

Friday, November 4, 2016

fun on Friday

The or And
Tennis or shot put
Grammar or vocabulary
Veal or chop
Tea or coffee

Thursday, November 3, 2016

death of a democracy

Death of a Democracy
I no longer know the country of my birth
I no longer understand its people
Taxes are akin to treason
Guilt is assumed until otherwise ruled
The haves have imposed their will
To think a billionaire speaks for the proletariat is absurd
I'm awaiting the Bolshevik
Putin's laughing all the way to the bank
I wonder if all Christians worship the same Jesus
The love of money is the root of all evil
And yet we will elect lovers of money
We excuse one sin and applaud the other
This isn't my country.
I'm glad I'm a Christian now
because i don't display His love
At least my country doesn't
And to every non-Christian
I have failed Christ
And you ought to know
The Jesus who saved me
When life wasn't where I wanted to be
When a promised kept
And a trip
I'll never forget
Brought to a country of splendor
Where I realized that my birth country was beyond anything
I could ever articulate
And now I see demise on the horizon
I see faction
and division
and despondency has set in
but for a man on Calvary


Story of your blog name?

Wednesday, November 2, 2016


This election has me thinking.
Buyers' remorse should mean buying an expensive handbag, not a candidate.
Is forgiveness for a chosen few?
Christ isn't dead, but fairness is.
After Election Day will I have four years of denial?
I mourn the loss of morality, goodness and decency.
I mourn period.