la vida

Age and experience must be the charm.
In a few weeks, I celebrate another birthday.  I will not dread the day.  I will not contemplate all I don't have.  I want many things, but there must be a reason, I don't have them yet.  Yes, I'm human.  I get frustrated.  I get frustrated with God's timing.  I get frustrated with my braces, my thick thighs, my sense of humor.  I can't question God.  When something lacks no reason, I stop.  Questioning the Almighty left more scars than surgeries could.  God knew and still knows.   To this day, I can find flaws, but I know that's me.  God's placed people in my life who remind me to find beauty and joy.  Laughter is good for the soul!  I don't have the luxury to ask why.  It depresses me.  Life is a glass half full, a silver lining, a joie de vivre.  I need a raison d'etre.   I do not cut myself slack.  I know I should.  One of the hardest lessons for me to fully accept is that I will not be like everybody else.  I longed for normal, but I got extraordinary.  Self-deprecation is not good for me.  In finding Christ, I've finding who I am.
R