I’m realizing I have to manufacture joy these days. It’s almost why I walk daily. Sure it’s for physical health, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit it’s for my mental health. I didn’t feel like it this morning, then I just got up and did it. Did it make me feel better. Yes. It forced me to be in the present. It’s not a place I’m not accustomed to being. Trying to speed up life to see if the dreams happen. Trying to speed up the answers. Trying to speed up everything because your life is living in the waiting or so it seems.
So as I walked up and back the gravel driveway multiple times, I just let the natural world become my oyster forcing my eyes and ears elsewhere. Did my sneakers get dirty? Did I sweat profusely? Yes. With every step I enjoyed listening to music, watching animals meander. With every step, I was reminded that I can’t rush the process. It seems I must learn the same lesson daily. As soon many of you who are older than me tell me I still have time, I’m just impatient. Maybe I lack trust. My body is getting better, you’d think my brain would be grateful. I’m grateful, I’m just trying to make up for the two years that were lost in decline and sadness.
I’m finally accepting reality that my body needs constant maintenance and upkeep. That appears in many forms. I’m having to trust what I don’t understand. And what I don’t understand multiplies days. So this was an honest reflection. It doesn’t paint me as an ideal human being, but that’s okay. I’m just a girl emptying her thoughts in the universe. If it helps, great. If not, it helped me. I no longer have it rolling around in my mind.
Happy Sunday friend.
Regine
This is a really honest and grounding reflection. The way you show up for yourself through small daily walks, even when it’s hard, feels quietly strong. Wishing you continued steadiness and peace in the process.
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There are many in this life that draw on the experiences of others for strength and focus. I have noticed that far more visitors to my posts never comment than those that do comment. That is OK. They are getting something from the post that is of value to them. That is what I keep my post alive for. It helps me and they help me by supporting me. You do a wonderful service with your honesty and insights. The Lord has blessed you more than you know.
ReplyDeleteGod Bless and keep you save always.
Thank you so much.
DeleteI've just returned from a walk outside. I do it for the physical, but you've given me a good reminder that it's so good for me mentally too. I need to pay better attention to my surroundings and soak it in when I'm outside walking.
Deletesorry - just realized I posted my comment in the wrong spot!
DeleteGood to read. It takes a long time to get better. I have realised this with my ankle and I am so impatient too. Remember we can do it, but it takes times. Walking is wonderful :-D
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