Thursday, July 6, 2017

The tongue

I was reading a blog post at Mix and Match Mama, and it got me thinking. Not a good thing. I have three other siblings. One older brother, and two sisters. We are triplets. I will preface this by saying this. They all are very successful. I am happy for their success, and I love them very much. All this to say, I've had to find myself apart from them. I've been compared to them and their success. I couldn't deal. I couldn't deal with being the only "defective" one. I could handle being asked what I would do with my life. I could help feeling like a "problem" child. I couldn't handle life. I couldn't handle my own questions. It's been said I "preach". Folks without God...I can't. It's just too painful. God is the reason I rise out of bed. The only thing worse than a battered body is a broken mind and soul. I can't explain it, and for the first time, I'm letting the tears fall. I have feared weakness so long. I am not my siblings. I can't duplicate their success. What is my contribution to society?  That question has haunted my soul for years. I can't be a politician, as I once wanted. No deep pockets, too many skeletons and I'm not a good liar. Words hurt, and I've tried to erase them. I can't. The tongue destroys. Now I know the words used to hurt me, God uses to redeem me. I am scared and worried to publish this.

6 comments:

  1. You are you, a unique specimen. It is hard to keep from comparing ourselves to other, but in all honesty we all need to just be the best individual We can be.

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  2. It's good you got this off your chest, everyone has their own path to follow so try not to compare with others. Cherish life.

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  3. Don't be scared. The only one you have to answer to is God and yourself. The other night I didn't feel like I was worthy to speak to him because of a certain situation. I felt Him tell me, "I died for you; why WOULDN'T I talk to you?"

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  4. I think it would be hard to be a twin, much less a triplet. Life is tough; don't be tough on yourself. Thanks for visiting my blog, Blue Country Magic. Come to newthursday13.blogspot.com and play with us. We're a nice community. You might also like Saturday 9 and Sunday Stealing, if you like memes. They are good ways to understand yourself. Take care.

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  5. You may have gifts that your brothers and sister does not, Regine. The fact that you want to be close to God is the most special gift of all. You are handicapped, but your mind is clear.

    ~Sheri

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  6. You have the opportunity to observe the world with more time ... and because you observe more ... you understand more ... and maybe you can explain it... to those who do not have time to look around ...
    You could be a writer...
    Or you can talk about what you feel ... your joys ... sadness ... disappointments ... all this, could help other people in your condition.
    Never think about it?
    Each person is unique, and can never be compared with another ... under no circumstances!
    Be you! Be yourself! Be the best person you can be... for you... and for others... you don't need to be more than that!
    Just as you are! Kisses
    Ana

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