These past few months have tested every part of my being. I have been filled with a laundry list of emotions...lust, envy, jealousy, anxiety and fear among many others. if you can think it, i've probably thought it. is writing this painful...Hell yes! Right now, i feel i have an incapacity to lie, or do it well. Is my introverted self having second thoughts...Oh God, do I want folks to see my flaws, my desire for male companionship, to be successful in a quantifiable way...yes...do I feel like I could God's job better....well maybe....honestly yes... God is humbling me in a way I couldnt have seen. i really wonder if the saying's true...God doesnt called the qualifited, he qualifies the called!