reality

 Yesterday, at the doctor’s office, I got a reality check. The fact is no matter how healthy I get, I will always have Cerebral Palsy so I need to continue to be mindful. I need to eat even better, drink more water and double my protein intake. I was reminded that I have limits. It’s not a bad thing. It’s just a reality. Reality doesn’t change even when change is initiated. 

I have to be smarter. Rest when needed. My body only has so many hours that it functions optimally. At 41, I need to take naps during the day. I will continue on the journey of health because I will benefit. I just can’t continue pushing my body to its breaking point. The reality of my life is that to outwardly look like a functioning human being, it takes a village to keep me upright. 

I’d rather be exceptional for at three hours than miserable for a whole day. I’ve been given tools to do this. God knew what I’d need, and he didn’t scrutinize me with as much contempt as I do myself. 

I’m having to learn to give kindness and acceptance of self. Yesterday, I got a reality check. One I didn’t want, but desperately needed. 

Love yourself and one another. 

calming breaths

 Let my being

Be light

Filled with light

Not fraught

With undue

Worries

That are 

So unfounded

It’s so ridiculous 

If it weren’t 

So sad

That fear

Has overtaken

My soul

Calm me

As I focus

On each breath

As my heart rate

Decreases

Remember

 I’ve been all about silence. On the outside, I’m silent. On the inside has been a turmoil I don’t recommend. I’ve had to get back to the source. The Source of my soul. I have had to get back to living in the moment. There is nothing about life I can control but my reaction to it. I’m having to put down my will, my wants for what God’s wanting to show me. 

I’m having to remember I don’t have to figure out life. I’m having to remember He is good even if I know it, but can’t see it. I’m having to step back to step forward. I’m having to lay it down. Again and again. And I’m being reminded what I want is not always what I need. He’s saving me from me. 

He gives me what I want when He’s ready not me. 

Love yourself and one another

debate

 The sun 

And clouds

Are debating

Who will

Win today

Will it

Rain again

Or will

The sun

Show his

Face

And dry

The mucky ground

Rain or shine

I smile

For whatever 

I’m given

Grateful

I will

Be

quiet

 Appreciate

The quiet moments

They’re precious

Scarce

And oh

So worth it

Love yourself and one another 

mother’s day

May my life

Be a mirror 

Of your goodness

Thank you

For giving me

A mother

Who would 

Nurture my being

Where I 

Would lack 

Nothing

But gain everything

When I accepted

Discipline

Friday five

Thrifting. I love looking for unique books or jewelry. 

Dr. Bronner’s lavender soap

Trail mix

Ice water. The colder the better

Word searches and Wordle

Your turn?