As the sun rises
On this beautiful morning
I’m reminded that
What I thought
Were losses
Aren’t looking
That way
Anymore
I’m still impatient
And want it
My way
So folks
I’m still
Being molded
I’ll take small wins
All day long
Because my
Batting average
Lately
Is nothing
To write
Home about
These days
How was your weekend?
What’s for breakfast?
What’s on your heart?
What is your cart?
What are you reading?
Pretty good. Had some company over.
Honey Nut Cheerios
Too much.
Food and not much else
A new book by Lorraine Brown. I just started it. No review yet.
Happy Monday
Good morning
What do you
Want from me
To be me
Without pause
To not question
My love for you
To trust
And put
Your faith
In the One
That never fails
I’m learning in all this that the complicated things don’t faze me, it’s simple mundane tasks that give me anxiety. I’m realizing that asking for help is not something to ashamed of even if I still do feel shame. Full dependency on God looks like His fellow children every day. It seems I have to ask for help every single day. I have to not see this as failure. My mind has to rewired completely. I wish I were joking. To be so intelligent, yet feel so inept. So inadequate. The things I have to ask help with would make you laugh. If it were funny that is. I’m embarrassed of all the things I need help with these days. You all said to let it out, so here it is. I’m glad God doesn’t laugh at my needs. Some days it feels like I can follow directions correctly
Sending love on this Saturday
The rain is
Cleansing for
My spirit
As I
Savor the
Stillness
That is
Calming me
Down with
Each raindrop
That pelts
The roof
With impunity
Friday happies
Downloaded a new book to read
Watching clay court tennis
A good cup of coffee
A good blueberry muffin
A good nap
I never thought I’d enjoy a nap. I guess with age I learn new things everyday. Share your joys with me please.
I’m learning that life will keep knocking you down. My mind needs conditioning as much as my body. Maybe more. And for me, that’s a bold claim. For if you’ve been here any length of time you are aware of how much care this body of mine needs. Two years of physical decline with no answers have left my mind grasping for straws. I don’t know how much time it will take the body to recover. And not knowing that has left my mind reeling. Frustration because who knows how long dreams and plans may be delayed. Who knows how long it take to return to my normal. My endurance and stamina are abysmal. And, I need that to return desperately. My body has been given a manual for improvement. The mind doesn’t work with manuals, I’ve tried. The mind is its own entity. You all tell me patience. He knows what I want. All of what I want. He knows what I don’t want. This is forced dependency on God. I know it’s best. When has humanity ever wanted what’s best for it. Or maybe you’re better humans than me. It’s a road with lots of forks in it. I’m used to struggle. I’m just tired or being so intimately acquainted with it. If this is too depressing. I’m so sorry. My friend begs me not to apologize. Some habits are hard to break.
I’m emptying the well. Mentally hanging in there. My body is recovering nicely. Thank you Lord. My mind hasn’t received the memo just yet. The bitterness hasn’t totally left me. Am I afraid to admit, that I just put it out there. Why yes I am. But, the truth isn’t very common these days, we’re bringing it back.
Love and hugs,
Regine
