❤️

 In this space 

I get to be

One with feelings 

That have been 

Suppressed too long

Care

 Fragile 

Handle with care

The state

Of my mind

These days 

dewy

 Dewy and fresh

like each new morning

abounding with hope

And joyful praise

Sing

its a new day

The Lord has made

giving up

 A friend reminded me

in my fragility

in my brokenness

I am what 

God wants

For the first time

I'm so tired

that surrender

is the only option

That comes to mind

The tears come

not wiping them

being one 

He's waited

for me

to be fully ensconced 

in torment

that the only recourse

I'm seeking

is one 

man cannot give

I was told

I'd come to this point

didn't know when

God always wins

He just gives enough

So wayward children

like me

find the light

Once they've

Had enough

of trying

to do it all

their way

embrace weakness

where strength is found

and bolstered 

for a lifetime

work

 The Lord says

enjoy your work

so let my imagination

go wild

the beaches

of St.Barth's

await me

basking in glamour

glitz and leisure

Falling asleep

as calm waves

bring my toes

peace and hope

turn off

the thinking cap

and let dreams

become memories

less

 broken

addicted to fear

haven't been able

to say these words

but i need to release it

and share this 

painful period

it's held me

in a predicament

I've not been

able to shake

Sharing here

is a first step

in locking eyes

not backing down

from what

leaves me

motionless

heart

 you will be free

when you stop

trying to fix

follow and comply

Stop

it's your mandate

for your sanity

and health

I plead with you

Give it up

Your soul needs 

True rest

it hasn't known it

In years

because your obedience

isn't all there

You follow

but don't surrender