Saturday, June 22, 2024

Italian memory

 Dancing in the early morning before the century mark hits for heat. In a lime green chiffon number that covers the ankles as I sway unaware of all my problems. The weeds don’t bother me. My phone plays the sweetest melodies as Luke Bryan serenades me. I’m so proud to call this piece of dirt, mud and grass mine. It’s my blessing. One that I look out the window and marvel at everyday. God’s given me a place to call my own. A place that gives me more than I give it. I ride the UTV down to the pond and throw some food to the fishies and watch them scatter. 

I sit on the pier. Watching my dog jump in the water, and I pop open a can of pop, and proceed to drown my worries away. I now contemplate writing, but that can wait. Right now, I enjoy what I see. I see the dog swimming, and I join him. My body is weightless in water. I revel in the sensation. Letting silence be my companion. Wading in the water is my only job right now. No multitasking here. No wifi here either. The only rule is to have fun. It’s something I usually schedule. That’s a sad, yet honest truth. 

Climbing out of the water. Drying off. Laying the towel down to lay out and reapply some Supergoop. Taking a nap in the summer sun. Letting nature be my blanket. And what a blanket it is. Thank you Lord for my little slice of paradise. I ride back up to the house. I get some water, go to the shower and get lost in the hot spray. The shower is my indoor sanctuary. A little raspberry body wash, and I’m dreaming of a little gelato from my favorite little shop. A shop that reminds me of a February day in Northern Italy two decades ago. Taking myself down memory lane. And what a memory it is. As real now as it was then. 

Friday, June 21, 2024

Capri summering

 Right now, I’m dreaming of a vacation my body is not able to take. Take me to Capri or St.Paul de Vence. Take me away to the sea. The craggy cliffs. The azure waters. The dolce vita. The joie de vivre. The raison d’etre. Take me to the place my body unfurls like Garfield after a peaceful snooze. Let my muscles move to Mariah or Pitbull. Let my soul be revived by simple living in extraordinary places. 

Right now though I’d settle for the latest issue of Tatler, that I couldn’t find in Barnes and Noble. Living vicariously through others is my summer mission. Travel, see the world. We don’t appreciate it well anymore. Love your neighbor. Love yourself. Love anything worth being loved. 

Right now I’m grateful to be pain free. I’m just having to be patient. And that is something I struggle with daily. Humor me friends. Have a good day, and be joyful. 

Thursday, June 20, 2024


 Please, I beg you, treasure your health. “Liquid gold” injection was a success, but it comes at a price. Imagine after your done, you lie still, the doctor gives you his gloved hand squeezing yours trying to give you human connection and reassurance. The pain is something I try not to think of, but later that day, it took all the energy I had to eat something, and take a few steps to bed. I don’t need you to feel bad for me. I must endure pain to find relief for the next few months. 

For the next week, I will be moving slowly. No exercise for me. I just want you to enjoy life. Enjoy what I can’t. Relish the fact that needles aren’t needed to bring joy to the body. To use the potty without pain. If your muscles can stretch and not lock, you are blessed. If you can move without strain, do it for me. 

Listening to my muscles on the machine, it sounded like a freight train. It’s not a sound anyone wants to hear. Nobody had to ask about the degrees of my pain. My mouth would lie, the machine wouldn’t. Doctor said why won’t you tell me when you have pain. I said I never have. I never will. I’m used to pain. I know you can provide answers. 

I’m not fighting what I already know. I just have to trust what I don’t understand. The questions don’t serve me. The answers may not either. Right now, I’m headed to the couch to rest. 

Love you all. 

Love yourself and one another. 



 While I rest, I remember ferry rides and gelato. Flowers and the sea. Wind whipping my hair in the most delicious way. Sand and turquoise waters. Blending in with the locals. Getting a lobster roll. Savoring every bite. Where am I friends?

New England 

Return to me

Dear friend

As if 

I’ve never

Left you

My heart

Didn’t get 

The message

Wednesday, June 19, 2024


 Procedure day is done. I have thoughts. I will share at some point. 


 Taking the punches. Taking the blows. For the betterment of others. Selfless love. What we get when we give so freely of ourselves. Love conquers the fear. Love conquers doubt. Love covers the insecurity that pervades the soul. When you learn that struggle breeds clarity and hope. Climbing the rungs of your questions is the road to understanding the you within. 

When people get the best version of you, the rewards are endless and overflowing. The best version of you may be messy and unkempt, but it’s the truth. Not a lie that is carefully curated to impress. Take the win the truth provides. 

You in truth

Is in harmony

For their

Is nothing 

Left to hide

Tuesday, June 18, 2024

Grace in failure

 This body. The one I’m in. The one I hated for years, walked two miles yesterday in miserable heat. I’m learning to work with the body I’m in. I walk through pain and discomfort. My body will always know pain and discomfort. I accept what I cannot change. I can’t change Cerebral Palsy. I can’t change how age changes how this condition affects me. I’m learning to accept exhaustion. I’m learning to welcome sleep. Everything I said I would never do, I now do without apology. 

I walk in the rain. Dance in the streets. Sing in the shower. Yes to all three. Walking downtown yesterday with a friend, I realized I’m an old dog sometimes. Sometimes you can’t teach me new tricks. Sometimes you can. Depends on the day. This truth no longer hurts my feelings. Too old to give a darn. Honesty really is the best policy. The head is finally understanding the assignment. 

Stop wanting the world to understand and validate you. Most times won’t happen. I’m not upset by it. It’s a reality I wanted for most of my life.  That is until found this desire to be futile. My best friend told me she will never understand my pain. My grief. She is only here to empathize. If my best friend can’t understand, how am I to expect the world to do it. 

I got a note today that is helping me to use what is at my fingertips to answer my own questions. God, thank you. You know why. And because you know why, I can rest, not knowing my next moves. I don’t know the meaning of life. I don’t know if what I do makes a difference. Resonates. I don’t know much about much. I just trust that what I do, and who I am enough. Enough for you. Enough for me. Enough for God. 

I’m having to trust in this season, as I embark on a new journey. A new mission. A new direction. That when I don’t understand. I empathize. I give myself the grace to fail and fail again until success is mine. That is my hope for you as well. 


 A little sorbetto

A mocktail

A pizza slice

Some people watching

Friendly chatter

Made my day


Monday, June 17, 2024


 The greatest gift

I’ve ever been given

Is your love

As I discover

Who I am




My faith

In the ability

You’ve given me

To tell the story

Inside of me

Sunday, June 16, 2024

Sunday blessings

 The mind is returning to the sea watching the sun rise over the horizon as I enjoy its glory before the heat of the day makes it untenable. Walking in the soft sand relishing the feel of serenity. The only sounds are waves as they ebb and flow. Watching Mother Nature is fascinating, calming and rejuvenating. If I want simplicity and calm, I must seek it. Anything worth having is worth the work. That is the playbook. 

Find the joy

Guard it

Then give

It away

Spread like wildfire

The goodness

Of life

That I find

In Your eyes

The sea 

At Folly

The mountains

In Saluda

The peace

Of my home

Is my gratitude 


Saturday, June 15, 2024


 Sitting under

The fan

In a cozy

Summer dress

Listening to 

The birds

As I work

Friday, June 14, 2024


 The feather boa, the beaded necklace and the glass slipper. Playing pretend princess with the tiara of flowers and rhinestones perfecting the wave. Realizing the daydreams of yesteryear are long gone. Reality slaps you in the face as you pull a muscle getting into the car. The pain radiates, but then I think I’m grateful for the pain ironically. I go back in time to the days of Capri-Sun and Fruit Roll-Ups. I didn’t worry about high fructose corn syrup and refined sugars. Now I watch the scale intently ingesting brĂ³coli and kale tricking myself into believing it’s ice cream. 

Inflation is talking about what is a reasonable price for just about anything from remember ninety-three cent a gallon gas or a five dollar combo meal. It’s now three plus dollars a gallon and I haven’t even eaten a combo meal in years to know the price. All I want is a Big Mac, yet I go home and make a kale salad instead. I remember spritzing myself with perfume and now they just sit out on display collecting dust. 

We don’t read the classics, learn Latin or write letters. I had a lesson on how AI works yesterday, and I was at a loss. We don’t do anything ourselves, there’s a program to do it for us. As much as I struggle to come up with what to say, I’m here to say, what I write is all me. 

I’m returning to the day of playing with play doh, drinking tea from a plastic teacup and singing off key. I need to return to the joy of childhood. 

Thursday, June 13, 2024


 Yesterday’s hydrangeas

Brought me back

To a Nantucket day

That hasn’t left

My soul yet

I pray it never does



Or international

Invigorates the senses


And mentally 

Leaves me

Joyful and grateful

I’m so happy

To count the blessing




I can just be

What a privilege

What or where is home for you>

Wednesday, June 12, 2024

Tuesday, June 11, 2024

Pearson Falls

 Hiking up Pearson Falls, I realized some truths I’d avoided. I’m stronger than I’d ever thought. I had to go slower than a turtle at times. It was a very frustrating truth to accept. Accepting what I’ve always known is still hard for me. But as I took in nature, I felt that everyone was on a level playing field. And for that I’m grateful. Even if it’s considered an easy trail for most people, I just had to be happy that I completed the task. 

Looking up at the waterfall, peace was present in my soul. I couldn’t believe at forty that my body could still do it. It did and can. After the hike was complete, I’ve never felt more joy. Joy in my ability to get out of my own head. Joy in how much I’m loved. Joy in the ability to not downplay the accomplishment. 

Dear friends:  lead in love, rejoice in thankfulness, be joyful and be small in the trees

Monday, June 10, 2024


 Some days

Stillness means

The words

Don’t flow

I await 

Their arrival

Albeit impatiently

Sunday, June 9, 2024

Small town America

 Back from a little time away to recharge the batteries. I don’t do it enough. I’m grateful for any time in a new place to help me appreciate how much home means to me. Home. It’s the place where I’m in no rush. No need to schedule. No need to alter who I am. I didn’t know what a privilege that was. I now know. My soul rejoices. This trip, I let the quiet mountain town transport me to a simpler time. Where the cell phone had no signal and wi-fi was spotty. It forced me to catalog my surroundings with absolute focus and attention to detail. It meant getting caught in a rainstorm, and watching kids play in the rain. It was marveling at the rain covering the mountain in what looked like a cloudy fog. It was eating a juicy burger, and not worrying about making a mess. In this life we want the neat and pretty. 

Life is never neat and pretty. If it is for you, I need some tips. Sign me up for the course. I’m learning I can be content in my own company. I always desired the company of others to satiate my desire for community, but when it’s not available, I can thrive. I’m finding whatever state I’m in provides the setting for a story. A story I get the chance to tell. I’m always learning even when it’s not what I seek. It’s amazing that one hour from home is a place that almost feels like home. My soul relaxes. My mind rests. My body finds regulation. I don’t know whether to share this place. Be selfish. Or share this earthly paradise that brings true peace without knowing it. 

Then I think maybe I need to share the place that brings me such joy. The place when you sit on Main Street, buy an ice cream and watch the traffic go by. Small town America at it’s finest. 

Should I name the town?

Saturday, June 8, 2024


 The mountain as the backdrop never gets old. The freedom to free fall into natural bliss is the best gift. Taking a hike to the waterfall is an endless rush of anticipation. The sights and sounds that accompanies me is the best massage for a weakened state seeking repairs. Thinking of this scene is enough to let me sleep peacefully, and drift off into dreamland. 

As I awaken to a breakfast of grits, bacon and eggs and pastries, I’m reminded to be grateful for every sweet or savory bite. I don’t what to eat first. I just pile on the plate. Getting a cup of coffee, water and orange juice, I take seat on the deck inhaling the fresh air scent that is infused with a hint of Fraser firs. 

Taking a bite out the pop tart, Nutella lavishes my tongue with gooey hazelnut. I find a banana nearby to mix the flavors. I let out a pleasurable moan. I’m in food ecstasy. Breakfast is a feast for the senses. One I fully intend to enjoy. 

The next decision is what to do today. 



Or reality

Find me

In the place

Where reality 

Exceeds the fantasy 

Friday, June 7, 2024


 Fog clouds over the mountain as I breathe in and out  Nature brings me back every time.  I wonder when the natural world will cease to amaze me. Now the rain joins in and I’m in a blissful trance. The Earth just leaves me in a place where I’m happy and peaceful.  The quiet drops lull me into meditation where I’m one with my surroundings  it’s one  I’m happy to be in  

Wednesday, June 5, 2024


 My greatest win is admitting imperfection. To let you see me fail. To see me succeed. Perservering and conquering the mountain that is my mind. In nature, I’m finding creation to be the only measuring stick I choose to have. The sweat that coats every part is wholly divine. My body is in harmony. I feel so small. Never more alive. Sought the world to soothe me. It doesn’t work. The grandiosity of my surroundings is enough to bring me to my knees even as I’m rooted. 

The only thing I’ve ever needed was the one thing I took for granted. Time. Riding with an eight year listening to the pop star du jour was something I won’t forget. The music choice was not my favorite. It made her happy. I leaned into her happiness, it was enough to give me some of my own. 

Learning to let it be. Smile and be grateful for what is yours. Your reality may be someone’s fantasy. 

Tuesday, June 4, 2024



Is a birthday 

I love

To celebrate 

Happy birthday 


Ice cold

 Taking  a walk down memory lane dancing to some Sam Hunt. Finding the groove with two left feet is still fun. Activating the joy within me. Twirling through the fields of dandelions. Singing at the top of my lungs. Letting fear and anxiety go with every move. Letting the sights and sounds be my mate. Putting on some old muddy boots. Reveling in the clay mask I’ve made. The winds of time stand still for no one, but in that moment, it feels infinite. Nature and I are one in tranquility. I’m grounded to the earth. Never more sure of who I am. In this moment, I search for the mustard seed. The anger in me dissipates as I lose myself in Your embrace. The bear hugs, the sweetest kisses and when you see me, you stare in amazement. That You made me. That I’ve chosen You. That I’m nothing without you. That I’m lost without you. I’m wholly dependent on You. 

I’ve come to the end of self. That’s why I amble around the local Tractor Supply. I look to buy a water through to sit and soak in. I need to be one with my pets. Shivering in the cold brings a clarity I couldn’t locate. I submerge myself in the ice and sigh. Peace is a muddy boot, a sports bra and Soffe short covered in ice cubes from the freezer and cold water from a hose. 

I dream of Chanel and a strand of pearls on a yacht in the Mediterranean, and yet the cows and green grass in my own backyard is what brings me back to life. What does that say. The dreams fuel me to continue, but my reality centers me. 

Monday, June 3, 2024

Ping pong

 Ping pong, ding dong. My own little reverie taking place on the table. Andrew is goading me into pretending I’m a professional. A swing and a miss. A thud as the body hits the table with force. His eleven year old self is laughing uproariously with glee at my lack of skill. I go round the table picking sides to better my odds. Nothing does the trick. The little rascal still laughs, falling to the floor in hysterics. My foibles must be something to behold. 

I give it back and up the stakes. Can he do better?  I know this isn’t a bet to make or take. I do it anyway. Anything to shut him up. Funny thing is, the kid has some skill or maybe just the will to prove me wrong. Those prepubescent preteens find any need for competition and I gave him the opportunity for showmanship. 

The kid is now in the zone ready to pretend to be the professional. Paddle to ball, eye to ball ready for action. He smokes an ace. I’m ready to shake my head as it is done over an over again. Blows on his fingers, and goes at it again. I tell him to take it easy on me as the wise elder. He retorts: Not so wise now, really. Got to give it to the cocky kid. He’s right. I hate when I’m wrong. Stinks being shown how it’s done. 

I’m stupid enough not to concede defeat. Must be a glutton for punishment. I attempt another go at it. I now make contact with the ball, but it slams into the net. Throwing rackets, er paddles and screaming “you can’t be serious” come to mind. Just a game. Muttering to self. Toweling off. Blaming sweaty palms for lackluster play is the next excuse. Yet I forget my antics are being mimicked by said chap smirking in bemusement. 

Dang!  Really this is what my embarrassment looks like. Oh my. And now the old lady just chalks it up and laughs at self remembering that life is made up of moments we would like to forget, but never do. I admit defeat. Admitting I’m no McEnroe. Then the boy says who is that?  Now I laugh hysterically. 

Oh wow. Now I know I’m old. Oh well. C’est la vie. 

Sunday, June 2, 2024


 Good morning from a rainy South Carolina where the soul wakes up to worship. The grass grows, the cows sing as I sit with steaming coffee. The chickens peck insects and scurry for scraps. My little composters. The old man that is my dog lazily comes to my lap. I rub behind his ears as he purrs almost cat-like reveling in the attention. I look out at my own personal piece of earthly heaven, and I wonder how I could be so lucky. 

Blessed that my pasture looks like my own Augusta National. I feel like finding a driver and a golf ball. Let my backyard be a playground for frivolity. Dreams of a Woods-like follow through are in my mind, as swings are made, but not successful. Clearing the barbed wire now becomes my aim. Thirty minutes later, I amble along picking up the balls like the rocks of my childhood. The bucket these days is much lighter, but no more the better. The rocks buried in dry earth so difficult to extricate then provide motivation to seek joy in rolling in hay bales recalling the days of riding, the mustang, Jughead. 

Coming up for lunch is a reprieve for my aching muscles. Recreating the whims of a teenager leaves 40 year old bones yelling for an ice bath. A nice ham sandwich and Sun Chips with some unsweetened tea is just what I need. I consider an audiobook to keep me company, but wondering if silence is the answer. The only soundtrack is chewing and swallowing. I wonder if this is what peace feels like. No need for noise to be my only companion. 

In the farmland that is mine, I’m finding completion. Completion in contentment. I still dream of the South of France in the lavender fields, the Parisian je ne sais quoi, or the seascapes of Capri, but right now my view is a familiar one, but beautiful nonetheless. 

Describe your current view. 

Saturday, June 1, 2024


 Today I realize a few things. 

God doesn’t forget the dreams of the thirteen year old you. At forty, I’m seeing that. 

This project will gut me. I will be broken down and built back up. Pray for courage. Going to need it more than I can say. 

Please grant me grace as I proceed. 

What needs doing

Isn’t always easy

But easy

Never brought


Those five letters

The word

Has eluded me

The son

Will restore


Friday, May 31, 2024

Three things

 Three things

Starting to work on the project in earnest. If you have a favorite place you haven’t mentioned before. Email me please. 

Grateful for my body. It works/.

Grateful for the mundane things. The coffee brewing. My soul relaxing. Good music. 

Your turn. 

Thursday, May 30, 2024


 The flame throwing

Red haired raven

The friend

With fire

In her bones

But kindness

In her soul

Where He 

Makes himself

Known to her

Is a friend

Who prays

And my well being

Is always

On her mind

When God 

Gives you

A friendship

That money

Can’t buy

You lift up

Your praise hands

Wednesday, May 29, 2024


 My favorite trip in the US:  Nantucket

International trip: Assisi, Italy

Favorite recipe: My abuela’s cooking

My favorite authors:  Lucy Sykes Rellie and Plum Sykes

My favorite designers: Oscar de la Renta and Carolina Herrera

Favorite restaurants: The Purple Onion in Saluda NC and Stoneacre Brasserie in Newport, RI

Favorite gems: Emeralds and Sapphires

Tuesday, May 28, 2024


 Watermelon seeds

An ode 

To warmth



Sweet memories


 Some questions for you

Best trip you’ve ever taken?

Favorite recipe?

Favorite book?

Quote that speaks to you?

Best job you’ve held?

Monday, May 27, 2024

Memorial Day

 Covered in

The red

White and blue

Draped with 

The stars

And stripes

At Dover

We reunite

For the 

Last time

For your sacrifice 

Reminds me

I won’t 

See your face


In the land

Of the Living 

But your heart

Is ever mine 

To treasure 

Friday, May 24, 2024


 Breathe in

And out 

Release the anger

That simmers

Hot enough

To explode

But be 

Of good courage

And tame

The tongue

Before it

Tames you

Thursday, May 23, 2024


 A few questions

Describe your favorite person?

Describe your favorite place?

Describe your favorite memory?

Wednesday, May 22, 2024


 Gratitude without expectation

I saw the phrase yesterday

I’m grateful for who  posted it

Because my heart

Was starting to get disappointed

Because my head

Wasn’t in the right place

Some days it takes a lot 

To put expectation down

Of ourselves

Of others

Instant gratification 

Feels good

But doesn’t teach much

And in this life

My need to learn

Is more important

Than my desire

To just want

For want’s sake

Love yourself and one another

Tuesday, May 21, 2024


 Thank you for championing the project I mentioned in my last post. Sometimes you have to chase the dream, before you lose it. My hope is to have a product that I can be proud to share. It’s in its early stages so please know it may take a bit before I have anything to show for it. Right now, I’m overwhelmed at the response. This teaches me to ask. For every no I receive, I am rewarded with a yes more and more each day. 

Ask and seek

You said it

I accept

And take 

Your Word

As proof

That no hope

Is too silly

As long

As your hands

Approve it

Monday, May 20, 2024


 I guess it’s time to spill the beans. I’ve got a new project going, and I need your help. 

I’m writing a fictional piece using postcards and trinkets people send me to tell their stories. Their hopes and fears. If anyone would like to send me a postcard or trinket that speaks to them. Let me know. If you’re interested in participating email me at If you are already participating just say done. 

Love you all. 


Sunday, May 19, 2024


 On the cloudy days

I remember

The sunny ones

That warmed

My soul

As much

As my skin

In every element

The joy

Of the 

Lord is present

Saturday, May 18, 2024



I welcome you

You come

To cleanse

The dirt


And general malaise

That had


The soul

And battered

The mind


The Son


Come here

And rest

Friday, May 17, 2024

Three things

 Three things

Open heart equals open mind

I’m learning to ask. No is not so scary anymore. Yes may actually be the answer. 

Fear exits as my voice raises

I’m glad you all are willingly here to cheer me on. I’m beyond grateful. Thank you so much. 

What are you weekly wins?

Thursday, May 16, 2024



To the restaurant

As we got caught

In the downpour

Refreshing to 

The soul

The storms

Teach me more

Than sunshine

Ever could

Learning to relish

Seek the joy

Going to 

This new doctor

And seeing patients

In true need

Of relief

Yet being

So happy

Was a sucker punch

And a lesson

Of how

To live

With discomfort


Purple haze

 God answered

Some prayers

After leaving

The doctor’s


I felt

The weight

On my heart


I took 

A deep breath

And learned

It’s all in

The attitude

Surrounded by 

Those purple walls

And plants

I felt a calm

That felt 

Too good

I just let

Myself be

Taken with

Grace’s good fortune

Change doesn’t 

Need to scare

It just teaches

That stagnation

Doesn’t serve

My body anymore

Wednesday, May 15, 2024


 Smelling the scent

Of the deep pink


Spread on

The kitchen table

The aroma

Takes away

The anxiety 

And trouble

For a moment

As I’m grateful

For the flowers’


That with beauty

Comes the thorny 

Issues of life

But it doesn’t 

Detract from

Its utility

To be 


Under stress

New doctor today. Pray that I’ve no fear, and am honest so I can be helped. Thank you. 

Love yourself and one another

Tuesday, May 14, 2024


 It’s wisteria hysteria


Because the 

Purple hue

Regally regales me

In pure reverie

Because my focus

On what

Is freely given

A beauty

Man tries

But rarely 

Ever replicates

If you want 

To be rich

Look out

The front door

It’s where

It’s at

Every day

Feet in the ground

Fingers around 

The flowers

And look up

Into the starry skies

Monday, May 13, 2024



Caress the clavicle

As I lounge

On a chaise

With a martini

And a romance novel

In my hands

As I thumb

Through the pages

A little bichon

Comes to lick

My fingertips

Wondering if treats

Are in my tote

None are found

But now

That face 

Has captured 

My attention

I have never

Met a more darling


Would now

Be snoozing

Between my legs

Sunscreen is 

Best friend

Because I can’t 

Be bothered

The pooch’s

Desires come

Before my own

Funny that’s how

God works too

What a thought

A blissful scene

Brought me back

To the author 

Of it all

Sunday, May 12, 2024


 Pools of blue

As I float

Through the needle 

Of your soul 

Eyes wink 

Back at me

Twirling tongue 


As I go under

As I’m flipping 

Over the inner tube 

Surfacing as taking 

In an inordinate 

Amount of water 

And I can

Just Imagine 

The story 

That will

Be told 

For generations 

To come 

Mother’s Day

 Happy Mother’s Day 

To all of 

The women 

Who show up

Love and protect 

Support and cherish 

And are 

Strength and courage 


I love you Mom. Happy Mother’s Day. 

Saturday, May 11, 2024


 Sunny day

The clouds part

The joy of 

The Lord


My fears 

And foes

Friday, May 10, 2024


 A gauzy coverup

Shows a cobalt 

One piece

Toned calves

A product of

Yoga and

A stationary bike

The marked difference

In my body

Is bringing

Stability to 

My mind

Outside in

The transformation 

Is not noticed

Until now

When I’m able

To put pen

To paper

My toes

Are stubbed

And dug

Into the sand

Looking down

I marvel

At something

So simple

That gives

The biggest smile



With the 

Father’s creation

Is encapsulating

My toe beds

Thursday, May 9, 2024


 Tornado warning 

Three AM

Not a great 

Wake up call

Put on a 

Gators sweater

To the closet

I went

To huddle

As I was hugged

Rode it out

Took two hours

To fall back asleep

But in that time

God revealed

Some truths

I’d be struggling

With for awhile

And in that moment

I’ve never been 

More grateful

For early days

When what

Is not wanted

Is what is needed

More than

The air 

That is exhaled

Wednesday, May 8, 2024

Forest floor

 Standing on

The forest floor

Looking up


The tree tops

The backdrop

For the photo shoot

Standing in

The green satin


With gold chain

And metallic clasp

Around my 

Delicate clavicle

Embracing my own beauty

While relishing 

In His own



 Took a look

At my body

This morning

And for the 

First time

I smile

Despite my condition

I look good

I feel good

Now to get 

My brain

Mind and soul

To get in alignment 

Because wholeness

Is attainable

Not some 

Far fetched



Go to work


My need

To be right

Can you please pray for a special little human very close to me. I’m scared, but know He’s in control as much as my mind would like to fight that very knowledgeable fact. 

Love you all. 

Love yourself and one another

Tuesday, May 7, 2024

Crystal concoction


In the finest silk

A rich red hue

A crown

Of crystals

Adorn the sleeves

A faux fur

Covers the collar

And my head

Is topped

With a tiara

Of diamonds

And rubies

My toes

Are in a ballet slipper

The braces

Are not worn

But a cane

Is by my side

Because beauty

Without stability

Brings ill gotten gains

The scene above

Provides a window

Out outward beauty

What life teaches

That when

The soul

Finds light

The body


For faith

Has been 

Set free

To soar

Monday, May 6, 2024

Melt me

The dirt
My refuge
From my
Own head
The red clay
Cakes into 
Like the sweetest
Scented creams
Sweat is a most
Welcome sensation
And walking
In an impromptu
Is the greatest gift
The land
Becomes my therapist
On this cloudy day
Soaking in the elements
In a really sublime way
Melts the worry away



Thank you

You know

I don’t need

To elaborate

Spell it out

Revive my heart

To serve

And seek yours

Strength takes

A toll

I don’t often show

But a yoga session

Relaxed me enough

To step back

And look 

Within self

To find

The words

That are Yours

For me 

To share

With my

Fellow humans

Saturday, May 4, 2024

Love well

 The shower sessions

Where I let the water

Caress my aching muscles

And spend a few minutes

In repose

And reflection

Some days



A blessing

And a burden

The feeling

Of needing

To deliver

Has left me


And dejected

But then

I have to remember

What or who

Do I write for

Is it my own

Glory or His

If no fame came

To my name

For this gift

Would God

Still be well pleased

With me

And I have to trust

And believe

Without doubt

That He would

Search my heart

And motives

O Lord

Make me 

The creation

The daughter

You know

And love well

Friday, May 3, 2024


 A little sunshine

Some new tunes

A little yoga

And my 

Soul sings

Getting out

Of my own head

One move

At a time

Because I’m 

Too blessed

Not to enjoy

The gifts


In front

Of my face

And I haven’t 

Paid enough


To holding onto

The joy

Of ordinary


That is medicinal

As it is


To daily contentment

Thursday, May 2, 2024

Repair man


As I sit

In silence

The only

Thing I hear

Are harmonies 


And lyrics

Praising Your name

It’s the calm

To the restlessness

That is ever present

What you want

Isn’t something

I’ve been willing

To give you

Until my arse

Has hit the floor

You want all

Of me

Not just 

The parts

That need fixing

Your not the repairmen

You’re  the Heavenly Father

And all of me

Is trusting

That I can

Make amends

For the error

Of my ways



Five letters

So much meaning 

Let me believe

That You

Work it all

For my good

And that nothing

Is lost

Please remind me

I’m not too late

To the party

For you to 

To bless me

To grant me

The desires

Of my heart

As the beautiful lady

I see on Saturdays

Tells me

That she has

Shoes in her closet

Older than me

You give me

Living angels

To remind me

Hope is at the corner

Of lost and searching

Love finds me

In the depths

Of what

I’ve yet

To figure out

Wednesday, May 1, 2024


 For Your eyes

Have met mine

What is seen

Is not 

For me

To know




The waves

Of faith

As if 

I were 

A female Kelly Slater

On Oahu’s 

North Shore

Ocean’s expanse

Spread out

For infinite measure

Is to remind

This mere human

How much more

Is left to learn

Once the thought

That the answer

Has been found

Until the

Realization hits

Only the surface

Has been scratched

And preconceived notions

Are scrapped

On the cutting room


The joy of being clueless

Holds an allure

So that I continue

To find joy

In what is

Not known

Tuesday, April 30, 2024

Eau’s reward

 In the heat

The in the depths

Of the barren land

Of my soul

You are the oasis

No mirage

The truth

Ready to quench

The longing of

The deepest thirst

I never knew 

I had

Came to the eye

Like the strongest gale

And sweetest eau

What you will give

If I only ask

I had to be asked

If I ever petitioned

The Father

For what 

I shared 

With her

I said no

I was instructed

To ask

And watch

As God delivered

With more accuracy

Than the UPS man

When you don’t know

Ask and receive

Let Him fulfill

The promise 

On the inside of you

Then let

The rewards

Of His goodness

Be yours 

To savor


My inheritance

Grace my gift


The reward

For my obedience



I was back at

My usual haunt

It was a pleasant experience

God is granting

My body

A boatload

Of mercy and grace

Thanks to a medical professional

Who sees the potential

When medicinal ingenuity 

And hard work

Bring hope

To a hardened heart

It’s a feeling

I can’t describe

Without the tears

Falling because

I know

Many are 

Not afforded

Such good fortune

And deep affection

Love yourself and one another

Monday, April 29, 2024



The crux

Of the problem 

That crosses 

My mind

Each and every day 

So today 

I need


To be my focus 

Or means

Of redirection 

Sunday, April 28, 2024


 Fighting the rage

Coursing through 

My veins 

Anger doesn’t serve 

My soul anyway 

Channel the fear

If only to

Bring the challenge 

To eye level 

Making what

Is bothering you 

A goal to master

Instead of it 

Becoming your


Saturday, April 27, 2024

Farm days

 It’s a good day 

When the sun

Makes an appearance 

And the

John Deere


Fits perfectly 

Friday, April 26, 2024

Three things

 Three things

Practicing gratitude in even the smallest measures is good for the soul. 

Waking up and good coffee is on my list today. 

Been feeling anxious lately. Can’t pinpoint the reason. It’s there. If you would pray please. 

I’m smiling because you my friends are great. 

Love yourself and one another

Thursday, April 25, 2024



On the high seas

Of love

Where hope

Is a constant

And joy

Is my ever faithful 


Find me dreaming

Of pink sands

Cerulean waters

And a fruity libation

Where reality

Is the figment

Of my imagination

Wednesday, April 24, 2024

Inescapabable truth

 When my mind 


Into the depths

Let me be


You follow 

Me there

Tuesday, April 23, 2024


 The blades

Of the skate

Spray ice

Like flying 

Fairy dust

The punches

Black eyes

And melees

Pitting brawny men

Fighting over

A puck

Make hockey

So fun to see

Right now


 The chilly winds

Chaffing my skin

And right now

I’m chasing it

With fervor

Because with 

Cool and collected breaths

Bring serenity

To a soul

In need

Of the stillness

Only He

Can grant me

Tell me something making you smile today?

Still using the gifts given to me by the sweetest blog friend. Every time I use them, I smile. Unexpected gifts pay dividends even months later. Thank you friend. 

Monday, April 22, 2024

Place of worship

 A crisp 

Morning walk

With my old 

Furry and fuzzy friend

Put a pep 

My step

A song in my heart

A peace to my soul

And a dream

I need to 

Continue to chase


And my daily constitution

What a combination

A wise lady

Told me recently

That where

My head and heart


Is exactly

The place 

He is

I wasn’t in

A place of worship

But in nature

Was the place

I chose to worship


 Finding faith

In the silence

I seek

And the noise

I desire

Is to worship

Your face

Sunday, April 21, 2024


 Sunday fun

Some of my favorite treats

Ginger chews

Gummy bears

Looking forward to the NHL playoffs

And some baseball

Any book or podcast recommendations?

What does your Sunday look like?

Saturday, April 20, 2024

His plan

 I forgive you

For expecting

You to fulfill

My every desire

I’m sorry for asking

For more

Than you 

Could give

I took offense

When your words

Harmed my 

Fragile ego

And wounded soul

Now knowing

What wasn’t given

Was not yours

To supply

Forgiveness granted

Because to receive it

I must give it

It is such a gift

To be known

By You

And yet 

So unknown

By the populace

I enjoy it now

Because that may 

Not always the plan

His plan

Love yourself and one another

Friday, April 19, 2024

Northern Star

 Being on the island


Is better

Than following

A crowd


I may lose

The most precious commodity

Am I willing

To let it slip

To be loved

For all the

Wrong reasons


I used to loathe

The feeling

But now

What I 

Couldn’t understand

Has become

The Northern Star

Love yourself and one another

Thursday, April 18, 2024

Mundane privilege

 Every experience

A lesson

In perseverance 

And a need

To be in deep


For He is

With me

In the dental chair

The grocery store

And in my


When my 

Free will

Runs like a cheetah

With afterburners

Because I’m 

Too stubborn

Or impatient

To enjoy 

The mundane

That the 

World over

Would consider

A privilege

Wednesday, April 17, 2024


 When one is still

Listening becomes vital

What I get out

Is what 

Is put in

Being selective

As what deserves 

My attention

No need

To be jealous


Or envious

Letting the Creator

Gut me

To rebuild

A person

I can recognize 

With pride

And admiration

Seeking popularity

And notoriety

For human appreciation

About destroyed

My soul

The more one

Doesn’t know

Is winning

These days

It’s not hollow

But an affirmation

That who I am

Is a blessing

One I’ve so 

Deceptively dismissed

At the peril

Of my own 


Love yourself and one another

Tuesday, April 16, 2024


 Lessons learned from yesterday

Not every question will have an answer. The secret is how one adapts to change. You didn’t ask me to figure it out, you just ask for trust. 

Do I trust

You enough

To cease fighting

The change that

Will come

Even if 

I’m not ready

Monday, April 15, 2024


 Keep your eyes

On the prize

Christ has 

Set before you

Eyes to see


The soul

To welcome

The flares

Of fire

My heart

To seek


The body

To find

Effusive joy


I’m armed

By the King

Of Heaven

Who came 

To Earth

Living fearlessly

Without doubt

Of tomorrow’s outcome

The Son

In me

Within me

To rise

On the wings

Of angels

To lead me

In my efforts

Now and forever

My desire

Is that 

God is present

Ridding myself

Of my own fleshly ambitions

Has been a battle

Not without sin

Here in these parts

I don’t deny it

The fact is 

I need forgiveness

For my wayward thoughts

Stripping my worldly wants

For a faith

Tested and redeemed 

Is taking on

A new level

Of patience

Don’t ask me

To pray for it

I haven’t

And He is 

Still having me 

Seek what

I don’t want

Don’t question

If God 

Won’t do it

It happens every day

Every time


Is uttered by

My lips

I get


Another lesson

In what 

It means to wait

Admit defeat

Yet say thank you





I will have 

To confront

The limitations

Of my health

Procedure day

Never gets easier

Peace cover me

As I step

Into unknown places

Sunday, April 14, 2024


 Love me

As you do

Even if

No one knows

You are my audience

If anybody knows me

Let it be

Because of

My proximity

To you

The lover

Of my soul

We look

To fame

And wealth

To define

Our worth

And we fail

Every time 

Because our hearts

Need new focus

Not a judgement

Or indictment

Of others

Just a necessary reminder

Of what

You desire

Of me


 I don’t understand

The why

Beyond your motives

But I trust


You’ve proven

To be worthy

Of all my praise

Please pray for someone near and dear to my heart. May He provide healing and His providential Power. 

Sunday love and blessings

Saturday, April 13, 2024


 Protect Your people


Your will

Not mine

Be done

On Earth

As it is

In Heaven

Friday, April 12, 2024



Three things I’m grateful for

Being honest and not lying to myself. If you’ve been in denial for any length of time, I don’t need to explain this. 

The grace and mercy of God are allowing me to be honest. There is nothing perfect in my life, but Him. I’ve struggled mentally for years, and couldn’t get out of my own head. I finally got so physically tired, I surrendered without knowing that’s what I was doing. 

I’m grateful to wake up without pain most days. I’m grateful medical advancements allow me to stretch and exercise. You don’t get to choose much in this life, but you choose how to modify to your ability. 


Any prayer requests?  It doesn’t matter if you believe or not, I will still intercede. I believe enough for you and me. I plant seeds, he waters them. 


Anything that made you smile

Thank you CC at Couture Carrie for a wonderful book that arrived in my mailbox. If you know anything about me is that I love unexpected gifts. Love you friend. 

Thursday, April 11, 2024


 I’ve come

To terms

That my worth

Doesn’t come

From what

Is thought of me

I’m not a star

No athletic talent

Not loud 


A little stoic

I have masks

For each emotion 

I’ve hidden


But my heart 

Knows the lie

Must end

I have Cerebral Palsy 

I’m just learning

How to not

Let the truth

Of my condition

Determine the health

Of my happiness

Late blooming

Takes on different meanings

And I’m finally

Surfacing for air

Clawing from 


To proudly declare

I don’t know

Who I am yet

But I know 

Who I’m not

I’d given up 

Hope when 

My hopes


To become

Old wineskins

And then 

I realized 

I was trying

To pour new


Into old vessels

It doesn’t work

It’s taken

40 years

To want 

To get acquainted

With myself

It’s only


What I wanted

Needed most

Was healing

It wasn’t going

To happen

Until I gave


To self

For something

I didn’t cause

Wednesday, April 10, 2024


 When your being 

Is fully aligned

To who you’re 

Meant to be

Your soul

Will feel


The heavens

Have opened up

Ready to douse 

You in a rush

Of refreshing


Tuesday, April 9, 2024

Finally delivered

 Rainy day here

For the first

The desire

To flee

My current location

Isn’t as rampant

Because for me

To appreciate

What I have now

Will increase

His confidence

In me

That my 


Will elevate me

Instead of causing 

Inner warfare

I’ve been told

This for years

I’ve had to

Experience this

With great delicacy

And be attuned

To how this lesson

Would finally hit

My stream of consciousness 

Eclipse greatness

 To the 

Ends of 

The earth

I encounter

The I AM

In contrast

To the who

I am

It’s a 

Most humbling


To be a speck

A mustard seed

Among the galaxies

Looking up yesterday

I wasn’t able

To see the eclipse

But I reveled

In the knowledge

Of how

He made

Darkness descend

Upon daylight

For millions

To see

Erasing doubt

For throngs

Of cynical


Monday, April 8, 2024

Solar eclipse


I was wrong

Not in

The path

Of totality

But in totality


You work

Your magic

With the evidence

Of your Hands

Leaves me

Going back

To the days


For you

To save me

From myself

I no longer

Look on 

The past

With bitterness

But with appreciation 

For what you’ve

Forced me 

To conquer

In my loneliness

Thank you

Solar eclipse

For the light

To look back

Without shallow indifference

But absolute awe

And what 

You do

When my 


Is elsewhere

Years ago

The mention

Of God

Would leave

Leave me


For the hills

And right now

God and

His grace

Is the only reason

I rise

To fight

Another day

Even when

My understanding

Of the why

Is mired

In the knowledge 

That what 

I’d like to know


May never

Be answered


To be okay

With that reality

Is what

I try not

To ponder much

Living in the present

And not the 


Of what

I don’t know

Is the biggest obstacle

To my happiness

Or sanity

Or both

Keeping it 


No perfect lives


Just hard knocks


Will shove 


Down the 



Than I can utter

Coherent thoughts


 Giving it all away

The fear

The pain

The uncertainty

Is allowing me

To sleep

In peace

Without waking

At midnight

In a cold sweat

I don’t know 

If you want

To be able

To visualize

This one

The solar eclipse

Might be 

The star today

But a happy soul

Is mine today

Sunday, April 7, 2024


 Ball caps

And baseballs

Dirt and grass stains

On those pants 

Of spring

That send 

My heart a flutter 

Saturday, April 6, 2024

White shorts

 White shorts


And a

Lot of green

To get

My eyes



Spring is here

Friday, April 5, 2024


 A smile

And a walk

Seem to give

My anxious thoughts

A pause

One I’ve never

Been more grateful for

Simple steps

In redirection

Finally seeing

The fruits

Of gentle instruction

Love yourself and one another

Thursday, April 4, 2024


Finish what you start
It’s what was said
No lie detected
Truth hit the target
Now to do
What is instructed
The battle commences
Between the talent
And the doubt
Rise up faith
Topple the fear
The insecurity
That lies within
And show the strength
That is known
To every soul
But your own

Wednesday, April 3, 2024


 Dreaming of

A vacation

In a place

New to me

Where my soul

Feels like

It’s been cleansed

By living water

Where thirst

Doesn’t exist

Any longer

Tuesday, April 2, 2024



You never fail

To put me

In the places


I am meant

To be

And not

In spaces

That lead

To dismay

Remind me

Of your


So I may cede

My own

Let me 

Love you

As you

Have loved me

Not that 

It can be matched


Monday, April 1, 2024


Into the blades
Yoga mat
Used as 
A beach towel
As Vitamin D
Beckons me
And filmy
Takes over


 Some fun Monday questions

Where is your next vacation going to be?

Last song you listened to?

Best book you read last week?

Best meal you made last week?

Best meal someone made you last week?

Sunday, March 31, 2024

Happy Easter

 You rose

And are 

Always there

To remind me

Of Your Presence

Even if

Or when

I’m blinded

By earthly falsehoods

He is alive

Within me

More than


On any day

Especially today

Saturday, March 30, 2024



Is the beast

I’m fighting

Right now

It’s not


I’d be

Seeing again

So soon


Come find me


Thursday, March 28, 2024


 I saw something on Instagram last week, and its rocked me to my core. I wish I knew who said it. It said “instead of being well known, strive to be someone worth knowing”  I’ve had a preoccupation with the former and not the latter. Maybe my therapist and I will have a chat about it, but a simple sentence is reshaping how I want to live. My soul is undergoing renovation. Maybe we as humans need a total gut job or just some minor tweaks. 

Reno work

Is an ongoing process

I may actually enjoy

Now the my brain

Is receptive

To realignment

The smallest realization

Yields the biggest result

Country days


Come say hello

So I can enjoy

A long walk

Through the grass

In the trees

And around 

The meadows

Let me see

If I find

The daffodils

Popping up 

In unexpected places

Wednesday, March 27, 2024

R and R

A little 
R and R
In a place
That brings
My mind
A peace
That can’t
Be manufactured 
Foggy covered peaks
And cool rain
The backdrop
And a fire
Roars indoors

Tuesday, March 26, 2024


 My joy for today

Rainy days

Lazy days

Word searches 

Good books


Your turn?

Monday, March 25, 2024


 Holy Week

May I appreciate

And understand

A sacrifice

I’m glad

I’ve never

Had to contemplate


Thank you

For what

You do

Even when

I fail

To comprehend

Your motives

Love yourself and one another

Saturday, March 23, 2024


 God determines

When I bloom

When I prosper

And when

My bum

Needs to be

Sat down

I used 

To despise


Now I welcome

Its presence

With a newfound appreciation



I don’t know if you’re teaching me more or if I’m just listening. I’m not fighting. I’m being still, and letting your dominion be my haven. I’ve known more pain in the recent months, but I’ve known more peace too. I’ve shared some here, but not gone into detail because right now I don’t have answers. That is okay for now. Discovery is a process. I don’t know if God gives us more than we can handle. All I know is as long as He is with me, I will not ask. 

Oneness with You

Is enough

More than enough

Even when

My humanity

Takes hold

And runs amuck 

Of center

And serenity

Friday, March 22, 2024


 A sunny day

To greet me

A hearty breakfast

To savor

And a friendship

Of twenty years

To treasure

Finding the joys

Of life

While the 

Tangy sorbetto 


My tongue

With otherworldly bliss

I’m getting better daily. I thank you for your love. Could you intercede for a friend in need of love and support right now. Thank you. 

Wednesday, March 20, 2024


 In your light

Darkness is no longer

A damper

To the soul

Your goodness

Is the warmest

And coziest throw

The chill

And icy nature

Of outside forces

Is no match

For the power

Exuded in 

One look

Tuesday, March 19, 2024


 Learning how to rest

Even if I don’t want to

Lord I’m listening

But my 

Follow through

Is missing

Monday, March 18, 2024

Love you all

 I may be out of commission for a bit. Medical procedure today. If you’d grant me intercession in your prayers, I’d appreciate it. Love you all. 


Sunday, March 17, 2024


I’m learning 
How to give
To self
As much as
I give to others
I decided to 
Grant it to
The one
Who needed
It most
To survive
How to be
To be selfless

Friday, March 15, 2024


 A long nap


It’s what

I needed 

The body

Finally said 

I’ve got you 

And take care 

Of me

As much 

As you 

Do others

Thursday, March 14, 2024

Cherry blossom

 The cherry blossoms

Call me to grateful reflection

Signifying the change of seasons

And differing outlooks

That implore me

To breathe deeper

Seek truth

And grant forgiveness

Whether it is warranted

As the child of God

And a disciple

To the Son

My judgment 

Is not in humanity

It’s in

The triumphant 

Glory of The Deity

Who claimed my soul

For His own



The gift you are giving me now

Is this

I no longer

Want to know why

The one word

That caused more pain

Than can be said

Why I’m the way

I am

Is no longer relevant

It just is

I accept it

For what it is

And questions

If there

Are left unanswered 

Because that 

Is answer enough

Right now

Wednesday, March 13, 2024


 Out the door

The sunshine

And green grass

Mix to make

An early spring parade

Where the early blooms

Arrive to display

Growth and grace

In a sturdy vase

Known as 

Mother Nature’s

Early birthday wishes

To a frosty world

Needing a warming glow


 I haven’t done of these in awhile. 

Life is hard

Life is great

Because amidst the pain

Is purpose

The silver lining

That glimmers

In darkness

How may I pray for you today?

Tuesday, March 12, 2024


 Playing in the dirt

Picking rocks out

Of hard clay

Teaches about


It burns

The muscle groups

Into subliminal bliss

Masked as popcorn


Providing relief

It arrives

With such

Accurate precision

Monday, March 11, 2024


 Equip me

To find joy

In the spaces

You provide 

Soften my heart


And willing

To be a willing participant

To the purpose

That is made

For me

Sunday, March 10, 2024



And in pain

Is where I’m at

Right now

Don’t feel bad

For me

In this place

God is teaching

Me how

To be grateful

In spite

Of what I 

Feel right now

It’s a gift

I’ve never fully 


Or have



Friday, March 8, 2024


 I never thought

I’d be envied

But I’ve gotten

So many compliments 

On the writing gift

It’s as if

I just pluck words

Out of thin air

And make magic

Happen when

The thoughts


The ratty tees

And sweats

Are my uniform

And it is

A blessing

To call the shots

A privilege

I never 


I’d possess

Thursday, March 7, 2024



Give me strength

To continue

To use the gift

The courage

To be honest

Even when

I hurt 

My own feelings


To push past


And joy

When my life

Doesn’t look

Like I’d imagined 



You’re remaking me

In your image

And I’ve not realized

When pride is laid down

Work is done

In crafting perfection

I never understood what Your purpose was, but now I start to see what is happening. Your desires for me are bigger than I have for myself. I need to trust that I’m capable to do what you see for me. And you’re doing it while I’m clothed in old sweats and a Longhorn t-shirt.  I don’t need my legs to write. I just need a willing spirit and the talent that has always been there. I doubted the talent. I still do. I’m writing because it’s what you demand. 

Love yourself and one another

Wednesday, March 6, 2024


 The vessel

Of truth





The spirit

Is alive

And active

Within my being

Tuesday, March 5, 2024


 Had a doctor’s appointment yesterday. 

Here’s what I learned

I need the hard truth. 

I need the facts

Answers will come when I need them

CP is static. That’s great. I can’t reverse the damage it did.  It did damage. The amount, I will never know. I really don’t want to know. When the doc said, at least you can walk. He’s right. Walking is a privilege. I may tire easily, but that’s okay. I just want to be grateful for what I can do. I compared myself against a world I can’t identify with. 

Acceptance comes when you don’t know it will. 

Love yourself and one another. 

Monday, March 4, 2024


 Peace is here

When my heart

Can’t understand

The delays

In what 

I wish

In what

I desire

Questions come

But I won’t fret

Fearing what

Is unknown

Is antithetical

To faith

And faith

In You

Is reason


To stand down

And bring the knees

To kneel

Sunday, March 3, 2024


 Singing into the 



In silence

My voice

Is heard

When movement

Is initiated

By you

Friday, March 1, 2024

Thank you

 Thank you all for your prayers and love. Right now I’m in a cycle of exercise followed by sleep to alleviate the discomfort. I may not reply to all. I’m grateful for all of you. 

Tell me something good that happened this week?

Favorite purchase?

Any good books?

Thankful for you


Wednesday, February 28, 2024




The temple

That is mine

Is an exercise

I’m attending to

These days

Please pray my body holds. Fighting some issues I can’t really explain. Trying to stay grateful. Patient in affliction takes on new meaning each day. 

Love you all. 

Tuesday, February 27, 2024



Wake me up

Infuse caffeine

And mix it

With some 


And gratitude

Monday, February 26, 2024


 What I need 

From you

Is peace

What you want

From me

Is trust

Who moves first

Determines the result

That means

I trust

Even when

I’m towing

The line

Sunday, February 25, 2024


 Taking the time

To savor the coffee

Smell the roses

And revel

In the frivolity

Of a good book

Friday, February 23, 2024


 Let my words

Not merely be words

What you see

Is what is gotten

Not some carefully

Crafted creation

Tried conforming

Lost myself

Off the cliff

Of indifference

Which left

Me reeling

Like a flapping

Fish hooked

In the gills

Thursday, February 22, 2024


The greatest regret

Squandered talent

Denied or otherwise

Words become real

As You give

Me license

To create

A world

Only dreams

Could have

Made me believe



Is deception

And I’ve 

Been the master

Of my own

For too long

What price

Have I paid

For my own

Foolish ambition

I have not

Valued my soul

Well at all

Destroyed my peace

For an earthly possession 

That couldn’t keep

My heart happy



In your nothingness

For when its done

You’ll have everything

Wednesday, February 21, 2024



When the rope

Is at its end

You tug

It back

To center

Knot it up

And anchor 

It on steady ground

Tuesday, February 20, 2024


 The richness

Of savory gnocchi

Surrounded by spinach

And butternut squash

Melt in a combination

Of food saturated

In a flavor

That radiates


Of an evening

Where the wind

Whips around

The mountain

With a chill

That shears 


With impunity

The wind

Is You

Where you display


With a flicker

Of an icy fire

That roars within


 The mountain

Covers me

Protects and shades

Me from harsh realities


I’m able

To face

The fire


Learning truth
Is best 
No matter what
No regrets
As sleep
Is peaceful
And deep
Mind and soul
Align in rest

Saturday, February 17, 2024



You are teaching me to not be afraid to ask. No is not a rejection. No is a not yet. It’s I have better. It’s not in your best interest. I’ve been drowning, and now I’m surfacing. That alone is a blessing. 

The pain

Not wasted

Not in vain

All a part

Of the process

To get out of me

And into

The present


The promise

Is alive and well

Friday, February 16, 2024


 What you learn

When you’re not looking 

Is the most magical gift

I’m now willing 

To receive 


 What are you reading?

What is bringing you joy?

Favorite purchase this week?

Tell me something good that happened to you?

Give a compliment to a stranger

Thursday, February 15, 2024


 Flexing the toes

Up and down

Around and around

Activating flexibility

And strength

Within the body

Letting joy 

Through quiet

Become the norm

Wednesday, February 14, 2024


 Shifting into

Seas of grace

Where I’m cocooned

In a love

That cascades

From spine

To metatarsal

And massages

The membranes

With soothing caresses

Though the ocean roar

Calm is present

Where presence

Meets the present


 Walking down

The drive


As my soul unwinds

Finding the time

To take my pup

For a walk

And a respite

For my restless

Mind as well

It might be cold

But the shiver

Is worth it

If my mental state

Is given time

To be still

In a world

That only delivers


Tuesday, February 13, 2024


 Let the wind

Carry you

The waves 

Buffer you

The rock

Be the buttress

Be at peace

If not

Find creation

Until your own

Can satisfy

Monday, February 12, 2024


Taking a stroll
Down the mountain pass
Seeking the birds flying
High above
In majestic formation

In the heights
Worry melts
And peace
Is as readily available
As the living water
He has 
For his beloveds


When the words
Don’t come
Let my heart
Be the compass
To the thoughts
I cannot speak
Lead me to the place
Where Your love
Is all I find
As I seek forgiveness
And acceptance
In the Hands
That formed
What I see

In the torrent of rain
Reawaken my soul
To the joy
That comes
When I’m 
Wholly reliant
On Your Power
To allow me
To see life
As it is
Even if
I struggle
To grapple
With its goodness

Search me
Find me willing
To love others
Even when
I question
The benefit

Sunday, February 11, 2024

Distorted distraction


You’re speaking. Am I listening?  You keep telling me to guard my heart. What I want is not in line with who you are. Yet my self will is running like a cheetah at full speed. The songs I’m listening to on repeat are reminding me that what I want will not satisfy me. I know it, and yet I still desire what is so unhealthy. This habit is one of the hardest to break. As my therapist has advised, I’m human. Habits don’t break in days. It’s a choice to put one foot in front of the other, list my gratitude, and take breaks from worldly influences. If you must, turn off the tube, blast music and write until the keys cease working. Nourish the soul, cultivate your creativity and know that no one is you. The prism in which you see yourself must shift so patterns are broken. 


It’s me

My thoughts

Must be altered 

So my view

Is not 

A distorted distraction


 Sink into the arms

That won’t let

Me sink

But float


I’m ready

To swim

And face

The sharks

Racing the tides

And undercurrents

Friday, February 9, 2024



And cute

The chocolate melts

As the tongue

Takes in

The delicious

Buttery and flaky

French pastry

Taking a mental holiday

Relishing the joy

That can be found

In carbohydrates

Thursday, February 8, 2024


 The gravel

Hits my sneaks

And I sink

In silence

As the soundtrack

Is a James Taylor

Playlist in rewind

As I revisit

A favorite artist

Whose voice

Puts me

In a melodic state

Seek that 

Fuels the fire



To know 

When to 

Savor the rain

Dog day


From the dog




Look cute

Be loved

And treat 

Every empty space

As a new place

To make

Your luxurious oyster

What a life


Dart around

As if the cat

Is your prey

Have your master

Praise you

And then find

The biggest oak

To be your reprieve 

From a warm

Winter day

Wednesday, February 7, 2024


 The shadows illuminate

The light

The vision

That is

The image

Of the deity

In me

Imploring my soul

To let in

The aroma

Of strength

And purity

In refinement

I’m where

I need to be


The vehicle

He has chosen

To make 

His omnipotence

Known to billions

In using this human

Who finds her being


Yet God

Says otherwise




What a privilege

An honor

That exceeds

A lifetime



Off the scraps

Of sugar

Being truthful

Is the only 

Way to authenticity

And honesty

With the deity

How many lies

Have I told you

We have this 


Too often

It seems

Getting real

Is costing me

Sleep and sanity


The year

Life decided

To teach me

When to take

The hits

And when

To give them back

Tuesday, February 6, 2024



The sweet song

Of surrender


When the act

Of being comfortable

In your own company

Is all that is sought

Lessons’ blessings


Every time 

I say never

You say

Think again

What I 


Was in 

The rear view

Is in

My permanent


And acceptance

That life

Is never fair


Don’t apply

To all

Is a teachable moment

I now think 

On daily

As I take

The lesson

As a blessing

Monday, February 5, 2024



Willing stillness

To seep

Into veins

Like the sweetest



In whip cream



In these bones

Is there

I just deny

The obvious

Every day


I still question

If ability

Is enough

In a society

That craves


The struggle

Is to not


The mirror’s


Sunday, February 4, 2024

The deity and the child

Just on the phone with a friend who was imploring me to celebrate myself for all my accomplishments when I said “I’m just me, and I don’t even know who me is.” I’m starting to think I’ll find her when I stop searching for her. 

Searching for Regine
Only leads
To malaise
Finding her
Is only
When she embraces
The mystery
Her very 
Which holds
Keys that 
The handcuffs
She’s allowed 
To hold
The thoughts
That slowly 
The spirit
In the innermost location
Not known
To ordinary man
The world
Corrupts not
The enemy 
This child 
Is her own self

Saturday, February 3, 2024


 Taking it back

Paper and pen

To a girl

Of thirteen

Who saw

Life as an adventure

To be shared

Bring back

Me at thirteen

To show

A forty year old

How to believe

In miracles again


 Finding hope

In each day

Is the journey

I’m now on



Is the road

To joy


The destination

To contentment

The desire 

Of my very

Elemental soul

Friday, February 2, 2024



Is a daily choice

A decision

To champion

The creation

That is me

If all humankind

Can find

Me lovable

I need to find

The desire 

To do

The same

Song of the day

Consumed by Fire  First Things First


 Tell me something good that happened this week?

What made you smile?

What’s on your heart?

What are you praying for?

What is making you peaceful?

Thursday, February 1, 2024


 Vitamin D

Came to visit

And the depression

Festering in my soul

Took a detour

And now

I am

Following my nephew’s lead

And eating sorbet

Straight from

The bucket

For lunch



What are you doing to me?  All I see is the sin that makes me so ashamed, and yet you show me that not all is lost. Every day someone comes here to remind me that they cherish the beauty in me. They see what I won’t. What do you want me to see?  What is it that is so important?

Show me

Let me be


To follow through

With your command

Wednesday, January 31, 2024


I was reminded
Of how much I’ve faced
I don’t know
If I’ve forgotten
Or just let it go
I’m getting used
To being in the
Valley of the unknown

I don’t know
If I’m tired
Of fighting
Myself or others
I’m having to be stripped
Of the trappings
Of my wants

I’m lain bare
To the only eyes
Who see my heart
For where it is
In need of repair

Tuesday, January 30, 2024


 This is not my typical post. I have a follow up to see how I’m adjusting to the “liquid gold”. I was thinking.  The doctors who care for people like me have a heart. Caring for me is not profitable. It’s a calling. A calling I’m grateful for. In my medical journey, God has always provided. It leaves me in tears. As much as I doubt, I know He is there. I just get frustrated with how He works. I want things, and He says not yet. 

God uses me

Even when 

I wonder why

This is my gratefulness

That I’m deemed worthy

to be loved

In spite 

Of myself


 You want my heart

No hiding

No cowering

Just truth

Pure and honest

No lies

Or deception

You want me

As I am

Not some

Phony fake

Monday, January 29, 2024


 You already

Have redeemed

My soul

And yet

I can’t forgive myself

For being human

I’m trusting

That You will

Make wholeness

Contentment and peace

Become real

Not a wish

Upon the star

The one

I’ve been

Longingly staring

At every day



I come to you today because I need help that can only come from you. I would love to rejoice with others, as I wait for what you have for me. The fact is I’m not. I’m ashamed of it. I’m not surprised you are using something I never thought I’d admit to strengthen me. You knew I’d admit my sin eventually. You’re not surprised by my sin. You knew where I would struggle. You use sin. You use shame. You use it all to make me the child that lacks nothing. I don’t know what I’m to learn from this, but I trust You know. 


Do what you do

Even if I’m clueless

As to 

What that is

Sunday, January 28, 2024


 Whipping around

Like the wind

On a carousel 

The horse

Your tool

To girlish glee

Where childhood

Is celebrated

And worry

Needn’t enter

The conversation

Out my window

The birds

Are soaring

Riding the wings

Of their creator

And having a ball

As the star

Of the show


 It’s a good day

Because I’m here

To praise



Omnipotent Magnificent 

Give your children

The will to do right

Even when our flesh

Demands otherwise

Love others well

Even if

Your not loved well

Your reward

Comes from God

Not human hands

Friday, January 26, 2024


 As I listened 

To the rain fall

I became calm

Almost meditative

Because even

As I was literally dry

The feeling was 

The exact opposite

A waterfall of emotions

Cascading down 

My spine

Forcing me

To be still

Even when wet

And shivering 

From the cold downpour

Spring forth

My soul

And reclaim

Your freedom

In Christ 



 Favorite meal you cooked this week?

Favorite purchase this week?

What book have you read?

What’s the weather like where you are?

What are your plans for the weekend?

Thursday, January 25, 2024


 Red haired siren

A beautiful smile

That makes mere man

Stand still

And a heart

That lets

You know 

God is

Within her

Wednesday, January 24, 2024


 God can use one person

To turn a frown

Into a smile

That is real and genuine

And it’s the best feeling



The cleaning

And cleansing of

My soul

Is a daily pursuit

Who knew

The soul

Could accumulate

So much dust

Maintain the core

Of who you are

So that who

Your meant 

To be

Can be more

Readily found

Tuesday, January 23, 2024



The petals


Them round

The thumbs


In this sensuous moment

That my mind

Is only

On the moment

In front of me

The scent of sweetness

Is in a pink hydrangea

That screams

Nantucket Sound 


 I’ve always thought God why do you allow me to weather pain. Some say I do it well. Some don’t agree. I wonder if I should take a poll. I happen to come up on an Instagram story that tries to explain what pain does. He said “Pain prepares you for your purpose”.  Since birth God has prepared me for my purpose. I’m no longer denying what I know. I still experience pain, because my purpose needs tweaking. True time under tension as my exercise app says. No tension. No refinement. No reflection. I don’t wish you pain, but if brings about your purpose, bear it. 

Monday, January 22, 2024



You work in the most random of moments. Then I think they’re not random to you. Trying to figure you out is like solving the most complex puzzle. You’re a riddle I can’t figure. All I know is that I know what I thought was waiting, is learning. Learning that my will, will not get me to my goals faster. I’m so focused on achieving the dream, that I’m not enjoying the process. With you, EVERYTHING is a process. I want results quick. You work like weight loss. Slowly. You tell me to ‘be still and know.’  I don’t know which part grates me more:  stillness or knowing. I will get back to you. 

Until the next musing. 



 Half asleep

Eyes almost open

Expectant to see

If the clouds

That surround me

Will clear

I as chase

Fleeting moments

Of quiet calm

Leading to 

Lasting happiness

Sunday, January 21, 2024


 At times tonight 

God is refocusing 

My heart 

On what matters 

My accomplishments 

Mean nothing 

In the end

Was I a human 

Who loved

Gave it


Without motives

That aren’t pure

With no goodness 

Behind them 


 Thirteen and toasty here

Favorite hot beverage

Favorite blanket

Favorite puzzle

Favorite book

Favorite cold day activity

Friday, January 19, 2024

Panama Jack

 Barefoot in the blades

The green

Tickles toes

And I relish

The sensation

Of sunshine

Warming extremities

As I recall days

Of beach days

The scents of 

Panama Jack

And lemon juice

Being my hair’s

Natural highlighter

Followed by a shower

Aloe coating skin

And olive oil

As my conditioner

These days

I take a whiff

Of sunscreen

To see

If it brings

Me back

To a time

I wish

I had savored


 What are you reading?

Favorite quote?

Favorite beauty product?

Thing that made you smile?

Thursday, January 18, 2024


 I was stretching this morning, and something was said that has me thinking. “The source of discomfort is not getting rid of tension”.  I haven’t related to a statement so viscerally in quite awhile. The tension I feel is now more mental than physical. God is using tension to break me. Break me from feeling I’m not enough. That to be admired, I must be known. Break me from jealousy of being normal. Break me from what I want. I feel like I’m being told that what I want would crush me in the worst way. God is protecting me from myself. What a concept. It all comes down to peace. What kind of peace, I don’t know. I’m in an I don’t know state. 

Grace me with the discernment to learn to let go, or just let God be God. 

Thank you so much. 

Prayer requests

 Prayer requests

For my friend CC who has had a rough couple of weeks. 

For me not to compare myself to others

For the joy of the Lord to be mine


For Barb’s MRI results that were much better than expected, and that it continues. 

For a warm home

For the delicious oranges I ate this morning

Your turn?

Wednesday, January 17, 2024


 In the bitter chill

My focus

Is singular

The brain


To maintain warmth

Yet my cold breath


The need

For clarifying

The mission

In which

I’m the 

Only one

Who makes

It occur

Under the guidance

Of the Highest

And most glorious

In the land 

Of milk and honey

Is abundance


She faces tribulation

But never falters

Because of the

Sustainer of her being


I am she

Remain in me

As I abide

In thee

The seams

 Rise up

Unleash the heart



And find

The reason

You live

Seek peace


To free

The You

That is encased

In bubble wrap

Waiting to pop

And scream

While trying to let

The most exuberant 



From the seams

Tuesday, January 16, 2024


 Making the grassy knoll

My catwalk

Owning the blessings

And enjoying

The steps

That lead

My feet

To bliss


To be enamored

By my own backyard

Dreams make 

My world spin

But my reality

Provides the smile

That is not etched

By false hope

Love fearlessly

Laugh hard

And find humor

Even when sadness

May be in your mirror

Monday, January 15, 2024


 Are you content?

If so, at what age?

Thinking on this tonight

Share with me


Sparking my joy

Snail mail

Unexpected gifts

Your prayers

My joy is found

In You

And He uses

All of you

To fulfill

His purpose

In bringing joy

To this heart

Of mine

Sunday, January 14, 2024


 I know my purpose

I just didn’t like it

But I understand it

And that’s okay

For today

Saturday, January 13, 2024

The key


Believing it

Until I receive it

I didn’t realize

When I come here

I have my own

Personal cheerleaders

Lord, let me

Be thankful

Eleven years ago

I felt unlovable

In search of something

Someone to root me on

Help me find joy

Worth and validation 

Each day 

You say hi

You give me

Your heart

You serve me

In the best way

You are Christ’s 

Hands and feet

Whether you believe

Or not

Thank you

The world

Knows not

My name

But you do

And it is 


Eleven years

Over one million

Who knew

My mission field

Would simply

Involve faithfulness

To tap the key

Friday, January 12, 2024



You’re opening up

Pandora’s box


It’s petrifying

But coming undone

Is the best medicine

For this heart

I don’t want

You to see


But God

Is demanding

That I shed

The shield

The coping mechanism

That is now

Becoming the albatross

Inhibiting my ability

To fully serve

The kingdom

Of kindness

This kingdom

Does not serve 

Kings and queens

But ordinary sorts

Royally elevated

In a new capacity


The Godhead

Show me

Who reigns

When my desire



Thursday, January 11, 2024


 How well do you know me. 

Tell me. What do you know about me?



Make me willing


To the call

That is mine

Alone to fulfill

Arm me

Equip me

To fight

What needs


And relinquish

What doesn’t 


Your servant

Life in abnormality

Is what I’ve known

But You are

What I aim

To make

My priority

Wednesday, January 10, 2024

Master and servant


You don’t seek 

My name

In lights

On a marquee

You have me

Right where

I’m meant to be

Behind these keys

Praising Your name

The only name

That prevails

Against every obstacle

I thrive in the currents

Difficulty is common

To me

It’s all I’ve known

And will continue as such

If He wills it

God is the master

And I’m just lucky

To be called servant

The world knows not

What you call me

Unless you make 

It be to just so

Tuesday, January 9, 2024


 Rainy day

Where all

I can see

Is a fog

So deep

And fat droplets

Across the window


Monday, January 8, 2024



To feel better

And be patient

As I recover


The great healer

If I wait

Without complaint

Sunday, January 7, 2024


 Each day

A beginning 

To call your own

Do it

As often

As required

To recapture

The joy

You are seeking

Friday, January 5, 2024



That I may 

Find peace

In the wait

Not grow weary

Or get impatient

Thursday, January 4, 2024


 Settling into 

The new year

Finding joy

In the small

Ordinary pleasures

That are the greatest

Sources of joy

Wednesday, January 3, 2024

Thoughts on thoughts

 I’m learning 




So hard

To break


It needs

To be done

More than

I can say

Tuesday, January 2, 2024


 Be the Rock 

That doesn’t budge

Even when 

Limits are pushed 

And answers 

Are not

Within reach 

Monday, January 1, 2024


 New day

New year

New blessings

One of the best things to come out of the last year has been friendship. One of these new friends text me at five in the morning to text me that they were praying for me. I won’t go into the rest of the message, but for all the anger, sorrow and sadness in the world; this message started my New Year off right. I may not have as much as I’d like, or how I’d like it, but God.  God is teaching me to find the joy, savor it, and treasure the simple notion that you are important enough to be in someone’s heart and mind. 

This friend knows who they are, but what their friendship means is priceless. 

Find people

Who love

The real you

Who see

That you need

No modification