Three things
Practicing gratitude in even the smallest measures is good for the soul.
Waking up and good coffee is on my list today.
Been feeling anxious lately. Can’t pinpoint the reason. It’s there. If you would pray please.
I’m smiling because you my friends are great.
Love yourself and one another
Floating
On the high seas
Of love
Where hope
Is a constant
And joy
Is my ever faithful
Companion
Find me dreaming
Of pink sands
Cerulean waters
And a fruity libation
Where reality
Is the figment
Of my imagination
The blades
Of the skate
Spray ice
Like flying
Fairy dust
The punches
Black eyes
And melees
Pitting brawny men
Fighting over
A puck
Make hockey
So fun to see
Right now
The chilly winds
Chaffing my skin
And right now
I’m chasing it
With fervor
Because with
Cool and collected breaths
Bring serenity
To a soul
In need
Of the stillness
Only He
Can grant me
Tell me something making you smile today?
Still using the gifts given to me by the sweetest blog friend. Every time I use them, I smile. Unexpected gifts pay dividends even months later. Thank you friend.
A crisp
Morning walk
With my old
Furry and fuzzy friend
Put a pep
My step
A song in my heart
A peace to my soul
And a dream
I need to
Continue to chase
God
And my daily constitution
What a combination
A wise lady
Told me recently
That where
My head and heart
Meet
Is exactly
The place
He is
I wasn’t in
A place of worship
But in nature
Was the place
I chose to worship
Sunday fun
Some of my favorite treats
Ginger chews
Gummy bears
Looking forward to the NHL playoffs
And some baseball
Any book or podcast recommendations?
What does your Sunday look like?
I forgive you
For expecting
You to fulfill
My every desire
I’m sorry for asking
For more
Than you
Could give
I took offense
When your words
Harmed my
Fragile ego
And wounded soul
Now knowing
What wasn’t given
Was not yours
To supply
Forgiveness granted
Because to receive it
I must give it
It is such a gift
To be known
By You
And yet
So unknown
By the populace
I enjoy it now
Because that may
Not always the plan
His plan
Love yourself and one another
Being on the island
Alone
Is better
Than following
A crowd
Where
I may lose
The most precious commodity
Am I willing
To let it slip
To be loved
For all the
Wrong reasons
Lonely
I used to loathe
The feeling
But now
What I
Couldn’t understand
Has become
The Northern Star
Love yourself and one another
Every experience
A lesson
In perseverance
And a need
To be in deep
Gratitude
For He is
With me
In the dental chair
The grocery store
And in my
Periphery
When my
Free will
Runs like a cheetah
With afterburners
Because I’m
Too stubborn
Or impatient
To enjoy
The mundane
That the
World over
Would consider
A privilege
When one is still
Listening becomes vital
What I get out
Is what
Is put in
Being selective
As what deserves
My attention
No need
To be jealous
Anxious
Or envious
Letting the Creator
Gut me
To rebuild
A person
I can recognize
With pride
And admiration
Seeking popularity
And notoriety
For human appreciation
About destroyed
My soul
The more one
Doesn’t know
Is winning
These days
It’s not hollow
But an affirmation
That who I am
Is a blessing
One I’ve so
Deceptively dismissed
At the peril
Of my own
Mind
Love yourself and one another
Lessons learned from yesterday
Not every question will have an answer. The secret is how one adapts to change. You didn’t ask me to figure it out, you just ask for trust.
Do I trust
You enough
To cease fighting
The change that
Will come
Even if
I’m not ready
Keep your eyes
On the prize
Christ has
Set before you
Eyes to see
Hope
The soul
To welcome
The flares
Of fire
My heart
To seek
Love
The body
To find
Effusive joy
Because
I’m armed
By the King
Of Heaven
Who came
To Earth
Living fearlessly
Without doubt
Of tomorrow’s outcome
The Son
In me
Within me
To rise
On the wings
Of angels
To lead me
In my efforts
Now and forever
My desire
Is that
God is present
Ridding myself
Of my own fleshly ambitions
Has been a battle
Not without sin
Here in these parts
I don’t deny it
The fact is
I need forgiveness
For my wayward thoughts
Stripping my worldly wants
For a faith
Tested and redeemed
Is taking on
A new level
Of patience
Don’t ask me
To pray for it
I haven’t
And He is
Still having me
Seek what
I don’t want
Don’t question
If God
Won’t do it
It happens every day
Every time
Why
Is uttered by
My lips
I get
Taught
Another lesson
In what
It means to wait
Admit defeat
Yet say thank you
Anyway
Lord
Today
I will have
To confront
The limitations
Of my health
Procedure day
Never gets easier
Peace cover me
As I step
Into unknown places
Love me
As you do
Even if
No one knows
You are my audience
If anybody knows me
Let it be
Because of
My proximity
To you
The lover
Of my soul
We look
To fame
And wealth
To define
Our worth
And we fail
Every time
Because our hearts
Need new focus
Not a judgement
Or indictment
Of others
Just a necessary reminder
Of what
You desire
Of me
I don’t understand
The why
Beyond your motives
But I trust
Because
You’ve proven
To be worthy
Of all my praise
Please pray for someone near and dear to my heart. May He provide healing and His providential Power.
Sunday love and blessings
Friday
Three things I’m grateful for
Being honest and not lying to myself. If you’ve been in denial for any length of time, I don’t need to explain this.
The grace and mercy of God are allowing me to be honest. There is nothing perfect in my life, but Him. I’ve struggled mentally for years, and couldn’t get out of my own head. I finally got so physically tired, I surrendered without knowing that’s what I was doing.
I’m grateful to wake up without pain most days. I’m grateful medical advancements allow me to stretch and exercise. You don’t get to choose much in this life, but you choose how to modify to your ability.
Second
Any prayer requests? It doesn’t matter if you believe or not, I will still intercede. I believe enough for you and me. I plant seeds, he waters them.
Third
Anything that made you smile
Thank you CC at Couture Carrie for a wonderful book that arrived in my mailbox. If you know anything about me is that I love unexpected gifts. Love you friend.
I’ve come
To terms
That my worth
Doesn’t come
From what
Is thought of me
I’m not a star
No athletic talent
Not loud
Introverted
A little stoic
I have masks
For each emotion
I’ve hidden
Everything
But my heart
Knows the lie
Must end
I have Cerebral Palsy
I’m just learning
How to not
Let the truth
Of my condition
Determine the health
Of my happiness
Late blooming
Takes on different meanings
And I’m finally
Surfacing for air
Clawing from
Obscurity
To proudly declare
I don’t know
Who I am yet
But I know
Who I’m not
I’d given up
Hope when
My hopes
Seemed
To become
Old wineskins
And then
I realized
I was trying
To pour new
Experiences
Into old vessels
It doesn’t work
It’s taken
40 years
To want
To get acquainted
With myself
It’s only
Because
What I wanted
Needed most
Was healing
It wasn’t going
To happen
Until I gave
Forgiveness
To self
For something
I didn’t cause
When your being
Is fully aligned
To who you’re
Meant to be
Your soul
Will feel
Like
The heavens
Have opened up
Ready to douse
You in a rush
Of refreshing
H2O
Rainy day here
For the first
The desire
To flee
My current location
Isn’t as rampant
Because for me
To appreciate
What I have now
Will increase
His confidence
In me
That my
Dreams
Will elevate me
Instead of causing
Inner warfare
I’ve been told
This for years
I’ve had to
Experience this
With great delicacy
And be attuned
To how this lesson
Would finally hit
My stream of consciousness
To the
Ends of
The earth
I encounter
The I AM
In contrast
To the who
I am
It’s a
Most humbling
Experience
To be a speck
A mustard seed
Among the galaxies
Looking up yesterday
I wasn’t able
To see the eclipse
But I reveled
In the knowledge
Of how
He made
Darkness descend
Upon daylight
For millions
To see
Erasing doubt
For throngs
Of cynical
Humans
Lord
I was wrong
Not in
The path
Of totality
But in totality
Watching
You work
Your magic
With the evidence
Of your Hands
Leaves me
Going back
To the days
Searching
For you
To save me
From myself
I no longer
Look on
The past
With bitterness
But with appreciation
For what you’ve
Forced me
To conquer
In my loneliness
Thank you
Solar eclipse
For the light
To look back
Without shallow indifference
But absolute awe
And what
You do
When my
Attention
Is elsewhere
Years ago
The mention
Of God
Would leave
Leave me
Running
For the hills
And right now
God and
His grace
Is the only reason
I rise
To fight
Another day
Even when
My understanding
Of the why
Is mired
In the knowledge
That what
I’d like to know
Most
May never
Be answered
Learning
To be okay
With that reality
Is what
I try not
To ponder much
Living in the present
And not the
Presence
Of what
I don’t know
Is the biggest obstacle
To my happiness
Or sanity
Or both
Keeping it
Honest
No perfect lives
Here
Just hard knocks
Disability
Will shove
Perfect
Down the
Drain
Faster
Than I can utter
Coherent thoughts
Giving it all away
The fear
The pain
The uncertainty
Is allowing me
To sleep
In peace
Without waking
At midnight
In a cold sweat
I don’t know
If you want
To be able
To visualize
This one
The solar eclipse
Might be
The star today
But a happy soul
Is mine today
Ball caps
And baseballs
Dirt and grass stains
On those pants
Of spring
That send
My heart a flutter
A smile
And a walk
Seem to give
My anxious thoughts
A pause
One I’ve never
Been more grateful for
Simple steps
In redirection
Finally seeing
The fruits
Of gentle instruction
Love yourself and one another
Dreaming of
A vacation
In a place
New to me
Where my soul
Feels like
It’s been cleansed
By living water
Where thirst
Doesn’t exist
Any longer
Lord
You never fail
To put me
In the places
Where
I am meant
To be
And not
In spaces
That lead
To dismay
Remind me
Of your
Power
So I may cede
My own
Let me
Love you
As you
Have loved me
Not that
It can be matched
Anyway
Some fun Monday questions
Where is your next vacation going to be?
Last song you listened to?
Best book you read last week?
Best meal you made last week?
Best meal someone made you last week?
You rose
And are
Always there
To remind me
Of Your Presence
Even if
Or when
I’m blinded
By earthly falsehoods
He is alive
Within me
More than
Enough
On any day
Especially today
Anxiety
Is the beast
I’m fighting
Right now
It’s not
Something
I’d be
Seeing again
So soon
Peace
Come find me
Please
I saw something on Instagram last week, and its rocked me to my core. I wish I knew who said it. It said “instead of being well known, strive to be someone worth knowing” I’ve had a preoccupation with the former and not the latter. Maybe my therapist and I will have a chat about it, but a simple sentence is reshaping how I want to live. My soul is undergoing renovation. Maybe we as humans need a total gut job or just some minor tweaks.
Reno work
Is an ongoing process
I may actually enjoy
Now the my brain
Is receptive
To realignment
The smallest realization
Yields the biggest result
Sunshine
Come say hello
So I can enjoy
A long walk
Through the grass
In the trees
And around
The meadows
Let me see
If I find
The daffodils
Popping up
In unexpected places
Holy Week
May I appreciate
And understand
A sacrifice
I’m glad
I’ve never
Had to contemplate
God
Thank you
For what
You do
Even when
I fail
To comprehend
Your motives
Love yourself and one another
God determines
When I bloom
When I prosper
And when
My bum
Needs to be
Sat down
I used
To despise
Correction
Now I welcome
Its presence
With a newfound appreciation
Lord
I don’t know if you’re teaching me more or if I’m just listening. I’m not fighting. I’m being still, and letting your dominion be my haven. I’ve known more pain in the recent months, but I’ve known more peace too. I’ve shared some here, but not gone into detail because right now I don’t have answers. That is okay for now. Discovery is a process. I don’t know if God gives us more than we can handle. All I know is as long as He is with me, I will not ask.
Oneness with You
Is enough
More than enough
Even when
My humanity
Takes hold
And runs amuck
Of center
And serenity
A sunny day
To greet me
A hearty breakfast
To savor
And a friendship
Of twenty years
To treasure
Finding the joys
Of life
While the
Tangy sorbetto
Lavishes
My tongue
With otherworldly bliss
I’m getting better daily. I thank you for your love. Could you intercede for a friend in need of love and support right now. Thank you.
In your light
Darkness is no longer
A damper
To the soul
Your goodness
Is the warmest
And coziest throw
The chill
And icy nature
Of outside forces
Is no match
For the power
Exuded in
One look
I may be out of commission for a bit. Medical procedure today. If you’d grant me intercession in your prayers, I’d appreciate it. Love you all.
Regine
A long nap
Rest
It’s what
I needed
The body
Finally said
I’ve got you
And take care
Of me
As much
As you
Do others
The cherry blossoms
Call me to grateful reflection
Signifying the change of seasons
And differing outlooks
That implore me
To breathe deeper
Seek truth
And grant forgiveness
Whether it is warranted
As the child of God
And a disciple
To the Son
My judgment
Is not in humanity
It’s in
The triumphant
Glory of The Deity
Who claimed my soul
For His own
Lord
The gift you are giving me now
Is this
I no longer
Want to know why
The one word
That caused more pain
Than can be said
Why I’m the way
I am
Is no longer relevant
It just is
I accept it
For what it is
And questions
If there
Are left unanswered
Because that
Is answer enough
Right now
Out the door
The sunshine
And green grass
Mix to make
An early spring parade
Where the early blooms
Arrive to display
Growth and grace
In a sturdy vase
Known as
Mother Nature’s
Early birthday wishes
To a frosty world
Needing a warming glow
I haven’t done of these in awhile.
Life is hard
Life is great
Because amidst the pain
Is purpose
The silver lining
That glimmers
In darkness
How may I pray for you today?
Playing in the dirt
Picking rocks out
Of hard clay
Teaches about
Character
It burns
The muscle groups
Into subliminal bliss
Masked as popcorn
Cracking
Providing relief
It arrives
With such
Accurate precision
Equip me
To find joy
In the spaces
You provide
Soften my heart
Amenable
And willing
To be a willing participant
To the purpose
That is made
For me
Exhaustion
And in pain
Is where I’m at
Right now
Don’t feel bad
For me
In this place
God is teaching
Me how
To be grateful
In spite
Of what I
Feel right now
It’s a gift
I’ve never fully
Understood
Or have
Appreciated
Before
I never thought
I’d be envied
But I’ve gotten
So many compliments
On the writing gift
It’s as if
I just pluck words
Out of thin air
And make magic
Happen when
The thoughts
Collide
The ratty tees
And sweats
Are my uniform
And it is
A blessing
To call the shots
A privilege
I never
Imagined
I’d possess
Lord
Give me strength
To continue
To use the gift
The courage
To be honest
Even when
I hurt
My own feelings
Determination
To push past
Disappointment
And joy
When my life
Doesn’t look
Like I’d imagined
Lord,
You’re remaking me
In your image
And I’ve not realized
When pride is laid down
Work is done
In crafting perfection
I never understood what Your purpose was, but now I start to see what is happening. Your desires for me are bigger than I have for myself. I need to trust that I’m capable to do what you see for me. And you’re doing it while I’m clothed in old sweats and a Longhorn t-shirt. I don’t need my legs to write. I just need a willing spirit and the talent that has always been there. I doubted the talent. I still do. I’m writing because it’s what you demand.
Love yourself and one another
Had a doctor’s appointment yesterday.
Here’s what I learned
I need the hard truth.
I need the facts
Answers will come when I need them
CP is static. That’s great. I can’t reverse the damage it did. It did damage. The amount, I will never know. I really don’t want to know. When the doc said, at least you can walk. He’s right. Walking is a privilege. I may tire easily, but that’s okay. I just want to be grateful for what I can do. I compared myself against a world I can’t identify with.
Acceptance comes when you don’t know it will.
Love yourself and one another.
Peace is here
When my heart
Can’t understand
The delays
In what
I wish
In what
I desire
Questions come
But I won’t fret
Fearing what
Is unknown
Is antithetical
To faith
And faith
In You
Is reason
Enough
To stand down
And bring the knees
To kneel
Thank you all for your prayers and love. Right now I’m in a cycle of exercise followed by sleep to alleviate the discomfort. I may not reply to all. I’m grateful for all of you.
Tell me something good that happened this week?
Favorite purchase?
Any good books?
Thankful for you
R
Lord
Nourishing
The temple
That is mine
Is an exercise
I’m attending to
These days
Please pray my body holds. Fighting some issues I can’t really explain. Trying to stay grateful. Patient in affliction takes on new meaning each day.
Love you all.
What I need
From you
Is peace
What you want
From me
Is trust
Who moves first
Determines the result
That means
I trust
Even when
I’m towing
The line
Let my words
Not merely be words
What you see
Is what is gotten
Not some carefully
Crafted creation
Tried conforming
Lost myself
Off the cliff
Of indifference
Which left
Me reeling
Like a flapping
Fish hooked
In the gills
The greatest regret
Squandered talent
Denied or otherwise
Words become real
As You give
Me license
To create
A world
Only dreams
Could have
Made me believe
Distraction
Is deception
And I’ve
Been the master
Of my own
For too long
What price
Have I paid
For my own
Foolish ambition
I have not
Valued my soul
Well at all
Destroyed my peace
For an earthly possession
That couldn’t keep
My heart happy
Friends
Revel
In your nothingness
For when its done
You’ll have everything
Lord
When the rope
Is at its end
You tug
It back
To center
Knot it up
And anchor
It on steady ground
The richness
Of savory gnocchi
Surrounded by spinach
And butternut squash
Melt in a combination
Of food saturated
In a flavor
That radiates
Warmth
Of an evening
Where the wind
Whips around
The mountain
With a chill
That shears
Man
With impunity
The wind
Is You
Where you display
Dominance
With a flicker
Of an icy fire
That roars within
Lord,
You are teaching me to not be afraid to ask. No is not a rejection. No is a not yet. It’s I have better. It’s not in your best interest. I’ve been drowning, and now I’m surfacing. That alone is a blessing.
The pain
Not wasted
Not in vain
All a part
Of the process
To get out of me
And into
The present
Where
The promise
Is alive and well
Flexing the toes
Up and down
Around and around
Activating flexibility
And strength
Within the body
Letting joy
Through quiet
Become the norm
Shifting into
Seas of grace
Where I’m cocooned
In a love
That cascades
From spine
To metatarsal
And massages
The membranes
With soothing caresses
Though the ocean roar
Calm is present
Where presence
Meets the present
Walking down
The drive
Dreaming
As my soul unwinds
Finding the time
To take my pup
For a walk
And a respite
For my restless
Mind as well
It might be cold
But the shiver
Is worth it
If my mental state
Is given time
To be still
In a world
That only delivers
Noise
Let the wind
Carry you
The waves
Buffer you
The rock
Be the buttress
Be at peace
If not
Find creation
Until your own
Can satisfy
God,
You’re speaking. Am I listening? You keep telling me to guard my heart. What I want is not in line with who you are. Yet my self will is running like a cheetah at full speed. The songs I’m listening to on repeat are reminding me that what I want will not satisfy me. I know it, and yet I still desire what is so unhealthy. This habit is one of the hardest to break. As my therapist has advised, I’m human. Habits don’t break in days. It’s a choice to put one foot in front of the other, list my gratitude, and take breaks from worldly influences. If you must, turn off the tube, blast music and write until the keys cease working. Nourish the soul, cultivate your creativity and know that no one is you. The prism in which you see yourself must shift so patterns are broken.
Lord
It’s me
My thoughts
Must be altered
So my view
Is not
A distorted distraction
Sink into the arms
That won’t let
Me sink
But float
Until
I’m ready
To swim
And face
The sharks
Racing the tides
And undercurrents
Coiffed
And cute
The chocolate melts
As the tongue
Takes in
The delicious
Buttery and flaky
French pastry
Taking a mental holiday
Relishing the joy
That can be found
In carbohydrates
The gravel
Hits my sneaks
And I sink
In silence
As the soundtrack
Is a James Taylor
Playlist in rewind
As I revisit
A favorite artist
Whose voice
Puts me
In a melodic state
Seek that
Fuels the fire
Within
Enough
To know
When to
Savor the rain
Lessons
From the dog
Eat
Sleep
Repeat
Look cute
Be loved
And treat
Every empty space
As a new place
To make
Your luxurious oyster
What a life
Run
Dart around
As if the cat
Is your prey
Have your master
Praise you
And then find
The biggest oak
To be your reprieve
From a warm
Winter day
The shadows illuminate
The light
The vision
That is
The image
Of the deity
In me
Imploring my soul
To let in
The aroma
Of strength
And purity
In refinement
I’m where
I need to be
Disability
The vehicle
He has chosen
To make
His omnipotence
Known to billions
In using this human
Who finds her being
Lackluster
Yet God
Says otherwise
Worthy
Cherished
Loved
What a privilege
An honor
That exceeds
A lifetime
Stripping
Off the scraps
Of sugar
Being truthful
Is the only
Way to authenticity
And honesty
With the deity
How many lies
Have I told you
We have this
Conversation
Too often
It seems
Getting real
Is costing me
Sleep and sanity
Forty
The year
Life decided
To teach me
When to take
The hits
And when
To give them back
Singing
The sweet song
Of surrender
Arrives
When the act
Of being comfortable
In your own company
Is all that is sought
Lord,
Every time
I say never
You say
Think again
What I
Thought
Was in
The rear view
Is in
My permanent
Periphery
And acceptance
That life
Is never fair
Rules
Don’t apply
To all
Is a teachable moment
I now think
On daily
As I take
The lesson
As a blessing
Talent
In these bones
Is there
I just deny
The obvious
Every day
Because
I still question
If ability
Is enough
In a society
That craves
Notoriety
The struggle
Is to not
Doubt
The mirror’s
Reflection
Taking it back
Paper and pen
To a girl
Of thirteen
Who saw
Life as an adventure
To be shared
Bring back
Me at thirteen
To show
A forty year old
How to believe
In miracles again
Finding hope
In each day
Is the journey
I’m now on
Because
Hope
Is the road
To joy
Joy
The destination
To contentment
The desire
Of my very
Elemental soul
Acceptance
Is a daily choice
A decision
To champion
The creation
That is me
If all humankind
Can find
Me lovable
I need to find
The desire
To do
The same
Song of the day
Consumed by Fire First Things First
Tell me something good that happened this week?
What made you smile?
What’s on your heart?
What are you praying for?
What is making you peaceful?
Vitamin D
Came to visit
And the depression
Festering in my soul
Took a detour
And now
I am
Following my nephew’s lead
And eating sorbet
Straight from
The bucket
For lunch
Lord,
What are you doing to me? All I see is the sin that makes me so ashamed, and yet you show me that not all is lost. Every day someone comes here to remind me that they cherish the beauty in me. They see what I won’t. What do you want me to see? What is it that is so important?
Show me
Let me be
Willing
To follow through
With your command
This is not my typical post. I have a follow up to see how I’m adjusting to the “liquid gold”. I was thinking. The doctors who care for people like me have a heart. Caring for me is not profitable. It’s a calling. A calling I’m grateful for. In my medical journey, God has always provided. It leaves me in tears. As much as I doubt, I know He is there. I just get frustrated with how He works. I want things, and He says not yet.
God uses me
Even when
I wonder why
This is my gratefulness
That I’m deemed worthy
to be loved
In spite
Of myself
You want my heart
No hiding
No cowering
Just truth
Pure and honest
No lies
Or deception
You want me
As I am
Not some
Phony fake
You already
Have redeemed
My soul
And yet
I can’t forgive myself
For being human
I’m trusting
That You will
Make wholeness
Contentment and peace
Become real
Not a wish
Upon the star
The one
I’ve been
Longingly staring
At every day
Lord,
I come to you today because I need help that can only come from you. I would love to rejoice with others, as I wait for what you have for me. The fact is I’m not. I’m ashamed of it. I’m not surprised you are using something I never thought I’d admit to strengthen me. You knew I’d admit my sin eventually. You’re not surprised by my sin. You knew where I would struggle. You use sin. You use shame. You use it all to make me the child that lacks nothing. I don’t know what I’m to learn from this, but I trust You know.
Lord
Do what you do
Even if I’m clueless
As to
What that is
Whipping around
Like the wind
On a carousel
The horse
Your tool
To girlish glee
Where childhood
Is celebrated
And worry
Needn’t enter
The conversation
Out my window
The birds
Are soaring
Riding the wings
Of their creator
And having a ball
As the star
Of the show
It’s a good day
Because I’m here
To praise
You
Your
Omnipotent Magnificent
Give your children
The will to do right
Even when our flesh
Demands otherwise
Love others well
Even if
Your not loved well
Your reward
Comes from God
Not human hands
As I listened
To the rain fall
I became calm
Almost meditative
Because even
As I was literally dry
The feeling was
The exact opposite
A waterfall of emotions
Cascading down
My spine
Forcing me
To be still
Even when wet
And shivering
From the cold downpour
Spring forth
My soul
And reclaim
Your freedom
In Christ
Jesus
Favorite meal you cooked this week?
Favorite purchase this week?
What book have you read?
What’s the weather like where you are?
What are your plans for the weekend?
Red haired siren
A beautiful smile
That makes mere man
Stand still
And a heart
That lets
You know
God is
Within her
Plucking
The petals
Twisting
Them round
The thumbs
Wishing
In this sensuous moment
That my mind
Is only
On the moment
In front of me
The scent of sweetness
Is in a pink hydrangea
That screams
Nantucket Sound
I’ve always thought God why do you allow me to weather pain. Some say I do it well. Some don’t agree. I wonder if I should take a poll. I happen to come up on an Instagram story that tries to explain what pain does. He said “Pain prepares you for your purpose”. Since birth God has prepared me for my purpose. I’m no longer denying what I know. I still experience pain, because my purpose needs tweaking. True time under tension as my exercise app says. No tension. No refinement. No reflection. I don’t wish you pain, but if brings about your purpose, bear it.
Lord,
You work in the most random of moments. Then I think they’re not random to you. Trying to figure you out is like solving the most complex puzzle. You’re a riddle I can’t figure. All I know is that I know what I thought was waiting, is learning. Learning that my will, will not get me to my goals faster. I’m so focused on achieving the dream, that I’m not enjoying the process. With you, EVERYTHING is a process. I want results quick. You work like weight loss. Slowly. You tell me to ‘be still and know.’ I don’t know which part grates me more: stillness or knowing. I will get back to you.
Until the next musing.
Regine
Half asleep
Eyes almost open
Expectant to see
If the clouds
That surround me
Will clear
I as chase
Fleeting moments
Of quiet calm
Leading to
Lasting happiness
At times tonight
God is refocusing
My heart
On what matters
My accomplishments
Mean nothing
In the end
Was I a human
Who loved
Gave it
Freely
Without motives
That aren’t pure
With no goodness
Behind them
Thirteen and toasty here
Favorite hot beverage
Favorite blanket
Favorite puzzle
Favorite book
Favorite cold day activity
Barefoot in the blades
The green
Tickles toes
And I relish
The sensation
Of sunshine
Warming extremities
As I recall days
Of beach days
The scents of
Panama Jack
And lemon juice
Being my hair’s
Natural highlighter
Followed by a shower
Aloe coating skin
And olive oil
As my conditioner
These days
I take a whiff
Of sunscreen
To see
If it brings
Me back
To a time
I wish
I had savored
I was stretching this morning, and something was said that has me thinking. “The source of discomfort is not getting rid of tension”. I haven’t related to a statement so viscerally in quite awhile. The tension I feel is now more mental than physical. God is using tension to break me. Break me from feeling I’m not enough. That to be admired, I must be known. Break me from jealousy of being normal. Break me from what I want. I feel like I’m being told that what I want would crush me in the worst way. God is protecting me from myself. What a concept. It all comes down to peace. What kind of peace, I don’t know. I’m in an I don’t know state.
Grace me with the discernment to learn to let go, or just let God be God.
Thank you so much.
Prayer requests
For my friend CC who has had a rough couple of weeks.
For me not to compare myself to others
For the joy of the Lord to be mine
Praises
For Barb’s MRI results that were much better than expected, and that it continues.
For a warm home
For the delicious oranges I ate this morning
Your turn?
In the bitter chill
My focus
Is singular
The brain
Needs
To maintain warmth
Yet my cold breath
Reinforces
The need
For clarifying
The mission
In which
I’m the
Only one
Who makes
It occur
Under the guidance
Of the Highest
And most glorious
In the land
Of milk and honey
Is abundance
Because
She faces tribulation
But never falters
Because of the
Sustainer of her being
Lord
I am she
Remain in me
As I abide
In thee
Rise up
Unleash the heart
Love
Heal
And find
The reason
You live
Seek peace
Within
To free
The You
That is encased
In bubble wrap
Waiting to pop
And scream
While trying to let
The most exuberant
Exhale
Release
From the seams
Making the grassy knoll
My catwalk
Owning the blessings
And enjoying
The steps
That lead
My feet
To bliss
Courage
To be enamored
By my own backyard
Dreams make
My world spin
But my reality
Provides the smile
That is not etched
By false hope
Love fearlessly
Laugh hard
And find humor
Even when sadness
May be in your mirror
Sparking my joy
Snail mail
Unexpected gifts
Your prayers
My joy is found
In You
And He uses
All of you
To fulfill
His purpose
In bringing joy
To this heart
Of mine
Grateful
Believing it
Until I receive it
I didn’t realize
When I come here
I have my own
Personal cheerleaders
Lord, let me
Be thankful
Eleven years ago
I felt unlovable
In search of something
Someone to root me on
Help me find joy
Worth and validation
Each day
You say hi
You give me
Your heart
You serve me
In the best way
You are Christ’s
Hands and feet
Whether you believe
Or not
Thank you
The world
Knows not
My name
But you do
And it is
Enough
Eleven years
Over one million
Who knew
My mission field
Would simply
Involve faithfulness
To tap the key
Lord
You’re opening up
Pandora’s box
Mine
It’s petrifying
But coming undone
Is the best medicine
For this heart
I don’t want
You to see
Vulnerability
But God
Is demanding
That I shed
The shield
The coping mechanism
That is now
Becoming the albatross
Inhibiting my ability
To fully serve
The kingdom
Of kindness
This kingdom
Does not serve
Kings and queens
But ordinary sorts
Royally elevated
In a new capacity
Jesus
The Godhead
Show me
Who reigns
When my desire
Trumps
Sanity
Jesus
Make me willing
Receptive
To the call
That is mine
Alone to fulfill
Arm me
Equip me
To fight
What needs
Battle
And relinquish
What doesn’t
Serve
Your servant
Life in abnormality
Is what I’ve known
But You are
What I aim
To make
My priority
Lord
You don’t seek
My name
In lights
On a marquee
You have me
Right where
I’m meant to be
Behind these keys
Praising Your name
The only name
That prevails
Against every obstacle
I thrive in the currents
Difficulty is common
To me
It’s all I’ve known
And will continue as such
If He wills it
God is the master
And I’m just lucky
To be called servant
The world knows not
What you call me
Unless you make
It be to just so
Praying
To feel better
And be patient
As I recover
Time
The great healer
If I wait
Without complaint
Settling into
The new year
Finding joy
In the small
Ordinary pleasures
That are the greatest
Sources of joy
I’m learning
Idols
And
Thoughts
So hard
To break
But
It needs
To be done
More than
I can say
New day
New year
New blessings
One of the best things to come out of the last year has been friendship. One of these new friends text me at five in the morning to text me that they were praying for me. I won’t go into the rest of the message, but for all the anger, sorrow and sadness in the world; this message started my New Year off right. I may not have as much as I’d like, or how I’d like it, but God. God is teaching me to find the joy, savor it, and treasure the simple notion that you are important enough to be in someone’s heart and mind.
This friend knows who they are, but what their friendship means is priceless.
Find people
Who love
The real you
Who see
That you need
No modification
