🙏🙏🙏

Defying the odds
My middle name
A miracle
Why you choose
To use me
What do you see
See in me?
A question
I don't have
An answer for

😘

I don't understand much
But I know this
The body wins
Most days
And finally
Maybe putting
This out
I will accept
What I've been
In denial about
My body needs sleep
More than I'd like
My body has been pushed
I'm used to it
But I need to take rest
I'm not like everyone else
I'm different
And it's okay
I have to follow
Doctors orders
I can't balk
Anymore
Thanks to Medtronic

Deserve

My neck
Adorned
With a cross
I will never
Be worthy of
I sit here
With callouses
On my toes
And I'm grateful
It's means
I'm walking
A medical miracle
Each step
Is a reminder
Of blessings
I didn't earn
And don't deserve

Twitter

Twitter
Opened
My eyes
My disability
I've successfully hidden
Reading so many
Struggles
Has been
A learning experience
I couldn't any longer
Be blissfully ignorant
To suffering
That is inexcusable
Step into shoes
Not on them
You might bawl
Just thinking
God spared me
From hardships
I couldn't fully grasp
Between apathy
And empathy
Is where
I stand

Trader

Walking alone
In the aisles
Of Trader Joe's
The flowers
Are my favorite
I spot
Sunflowers
And my giddiness
Erupts
Like the kid
Awaiting the swat
Of a piñata
Awaiting candy
Falling like
A plunge
Into an infinity pool
In the Aegean
The happiness
Of an leisurely stroll
In a grocery store

Yesteryear

Late afternoon
Take off braces
Let legs be free
Bare feet
Dance on
The cold floor
Soon I reach
For faux fur slippers
A cold drink
Some trail mix
Prop myself
In my chair
Of choice
And unwind
The only way
I know how
Pen in hair
Music flowing
As I let the
Day and my perception
Go as I meditate
With the legends
Of yesteryear.

❤️

In the stillness
I hear you whisper
I am here
Don’t fret
As I speak
Listen
The fear
Teaches
That pain
Is just
A symptom
Of deeper needs

Lord

Lord
Today
Thank you
For
A new day
To wake up
And praise
If I can
Pray
For you
Let me know
I am useless
When I do that

I’m sorry

I’m seeking
A few words
I may not
Ever hear
I’m sorry
And someone wise
Said
Stop seeking it
It’s toxic
Your smile
Is worth
More
And right
Now
You don’t
Smile
You’re losing
Yourself
By wanting
One thing
From others
Give up
Find others
Who know
Your worth
Now
Not later
Let them
Have regrets
You can’t afford them

Lukewarm

Cold feet
Lukewarm
Faith
Mustard seed
Redeem me
Living imperfectly
In this broken world

Fluffy

Jeans
And a tunic
Drinking a cup
Of warm tea
As I await
A cold rain
And all
I can picture
Is a fall day
In the Cotswolds
The fire logs
Sizzle
As I get
Ready
To read
Something light
And funny
Like Becky
My favorite protagonist

Coiffure

Miami Dolphin mania

How you hated Saban

Trips to Flanigan's

The crossword

Over coffee

And orange juice

Rides in

The passenger seat

Holding on

For dear life

And you changed lanes

Like Andretti 

One day

It was just 

Me and you

And the words

You said

You didn't worry

About Heaven

God knew

Your heart

I'm glad

I did too

Because now

It lives in me

Coffee and rice roll

Coffee and rice roll
Ready and willing
To meet this day
Full of hope
And promise
Speaking vibrancy
And positivity
When you
Can't verbalize
What hearts seek
Amongst chaotic clutter
Flowers bloom
When rooted
In compost
And a damp richness
Winter
Not desirable
But necessary
And sometimes
God
Your brethren
Mirror
That description
Honesty
Not pretty
But no less vital

Hard

So many
Years of
Misery
All I
Could see
Was
What I
Didn't have
Could I
Erase
The pain
I have
To embrace
What I
Can't stand
To be
A human
That can
Say that
Without hardship
I would
Not worship

Cross legged

Sitting on
Cross-legged
The cold
Hardwood floors
Peering out
Of the
Window through
Dusty blinds
Trying to
Pray that
My mind
Pauses
Hits the
Restart button
Rage is
Running wild
If only
My pen
Could keep
Up with
The speed
One one
In relation
To the
Other

Words

Branches dressed in ice
The dawn
Of the new
Day where
Hope flies
Peace
Of majestic birds
Greet me
From the
Bird feeder
And even
In arctic chill
I lift up
My countenance
In gladness
For life
And endless possibilities
Even in disability
I have a privilege
Most of world
May not
Blessed
Am I
By the King
Of Kings

Cower

I started writing
When I felt
Unheard and unwanted
I only speak
Now for a
Reason
I refuse
To believe
You will be
Discarded
If you
Don’t
I wanted
To have faith
In man
Until He said
Child
I didn’t make
You to
Comply and cower
To a version
Of you
I don’t recognize

Folly

On the way
To Folly
Early morn
Awaiting
The sand
And surf
The one time
I was allowed
To go without
A cane
Without braces
My feet
Could breathe
Toes in sand
Wind in hair
Sun in face
Relish those days
I got to be
Free
I soon
Traded in
The cane
For a pump
That made
External marks
But internally
Let me live
Not exist

Let me

Let me
Look at
Each scar
As triumph
They have
Formed a
Selfish soul
Into one
With a compassion
I didn't own
Loving people
Who can't
Do the same
Cerebral Palsy
Thank you for
Allowing me
To be a
Decent human being
Truth
Set free
The sinner
In me

Stories

My heart
Is in
The stories
Of historic civilizations
But my soul
Has been enriched
By the cotton picker
The butcher
Meat hanging
The shoe cobbler
Great attention
To the details
Blue collar
Red blooded
Green they loved
Was when
Their feet
Met the
Earth
Below
Them
Label
Simple
I say
Extraordinary

Meyer lemons

The desire
To flee
Yet I know
I must remain
Face the fear
Look out
The window
Winter gloom
Turns to
Spring rain
And what
Confounds
Will be
As beautiful
As summer sun
Shining on
Meyer lemons
And juicy tangerines

Holiness in three

Lord
Tears
The streams
Of a decision
That is a bedrock
For the life
I live

You rule
A kingdom
So fortified
Nothing leads
To its demise

Gold and silver
Are no match
For You
For ownership
Is Your dominion

Christ
The Son
Rises
To Ascension

John Deere

John Deere green
The farmer in Carhartt
The sweaty
Furrowed brow
Calloused hands
Praying for rain
A year in the black
Or at best
Break even
Do your job
Yet know
You never
Have control
Waiting on
First light
To mend fences
Fill up tubs
And feed
Impatient livestock
A life's work
Tending
To a plot
Of land
With a history
As deep and rich
As red clay

Simmer then siir

In the kitchen
Making peach cobbler
Waiting on peaches to simmer
I'm reminded
That Jesus
Waits
And waits
For us
To ignite
A passion
For Him
So that
When we suffer
We don't wallow
In a despair
That is unbecoming
Of a child
Whose identity
Is made clear
By the
Lamb's blood

❤️

Writing in my journal
Dreaming of a winter's day
Snow falling
Hope is rising
Joy in childhood
Coming back
Catching snowflakes
On my tongue
The cold
Taking it in
Laughing because
In simplicity
Pleasure is there
To relish
All but naught
On a seventy degree day
In mid January

wide

A smile
Will adorn
My face
Today
Not where I want
To be
But I'm here
Ready
To begin the journey
To a place
Where peace
Is constant
Despite
The prevailing winds
Where my thinking
Are violent gales
Slapping the waves
In Wild swells
With no care
For ebbs
And lulls
One speed
Until
The weather
Dispels current forecast

Read

Depression and Disability
I've refrained from this
I can no longer
My health is at stake
I thought writing
It out would help
It has
But it's not enough
So when people say
You seem fine
Please don't say it
I haven't been fine
In awhile
I know what I
Must do
If you don't
Put on my shoes
Don't opine
The mind
Can free
Or enslave
I am in chains
Free me
Before I break

Confession

I'm coming today
Lord to confess
That I trust
Too much
In my own strength
I live in fear daily
Of sickness
Of every malady
And on this day
I come seeking
The face
Of the
Only One
Who saves

Texas

Road tripping
Across Texas
Looking out
The window
Counting my blessings
Every mile
A treasured souvenir
I didn't buy
Highways end
Leading to
Dusty country roads
The mooing cows
Are my musical accompaniment
The goats soon follow suit
And now I feel at home
Even when I'm not
From Dallas
To Austin
And back
The privilege
Of having a home
Leaves
Me
Crying
Tears of joy

Baby's bum

The shout
No longer
A grimace
Is an operatic aria
Of a balletic soprano
Who gives soul
To the words being sung
Rising from a fog
To see the clouds
That hug
Your neck
And brush
Your cheeks
With a delicate
Deliciousness
Of a baby's bum
Resilience
Often
Breeds
Redemption
And hope
That dances
When all
One knows
Is paralysis

Green and red

Picking collards
Selling them
For two dollars
A bushel
For Christmas money
The Dollar General
Would be the recipient
Of my hard earned greenbacks
My own lemonade stand
Experience
But again
Hard work
Meets red clay
Adolescence
was spent
Mired in mud
That found its way
Caked on
In places
Dirt should not
Be found
One with the land
I know it
All too well

Keep

Written word

The release

Of decades

Resentment

Headed off

With a pen stroke

What I thought 

Would be agony

Unshackled me

From the burden

Of self loathing 

And unending disdain

When Jesus

Says what 

Was meant for 

Your harm

I will use for good 

He means it

And my body

Rejoices

In every way

Country living

Drift away

In the sunshine 

On the back porch

Snapping some peas

Remembering 

A simple time

When rocking away

Deep in chatter

Dirt in my nails

Red clay

Hardens the body

Softens the soul

When memories 

Aren't painful aches

But sweet reminders

Of a country upbringing 

In the Deep South

Praying

Any prayer requests
My friends
So much suffering
So much pain
Seeking peace
In these days
Where hardship
Is a daily occurrence

Gain

The breath
What a blessing
When I see you
Scars
I refuse
To see pain
It's healing
In my veins
They're earned
Not free
Expensive
But worth
Every cent
Scars
The lessons
You still
Demonstrate
The strength
You forced
Me to learn
Despite my protestations

👊

Daughter of the King
The title
That matters
Royalty
Belonging
To the Most High
A privilege
An Honor
I don't want
To downplay
Or take
For granted

Ugh

Do you rise
Stand up
Declare victory
So you
Can see
The glass half full
Positivity
Takes practice
It's been a day
Where my brain
Needs to disconnect
From a reality
I no longer
Recognize
I write
To make sure
I'm still human
Or at least sane
Or put the imposter smile
And hope
No person gives a darn

The truth

Anxiety
Trapped in
My head
Stomach aching
Heart racing
Trying to breathe
Break the thought
That ensnares my vision
The goosebumps
The chills
That snake
Their way up
Listening
To uplifting music
Because I'm anything
But lifted
I in a chaotic
Malestrom
That is nothing
Like that fuzzy
Warm feeling
I seek
And I can't
Continue to let food
Be my muse
When I'm caught
In the crosshairs

Hemingway

Dreaming
Of a quiet
Cafe
Lost in a book
Of Hemingway
With a croissant
And a latte
Being my
Only company
Spending hours
Suspended in space
Only awakened
By sweet
White snowflakes
Kissing my lips
As I hit
The door
Exiting
Only to plan my next return

Aussie

Australia
Praying
For the land
Of Koalas
Marsupials
Bondi Beach
Ayers Rock
And a fighting spirit
Sending a big hug
For all those hurting
In the land
Down Under

Plea

Change
It starts
With me
I can't fix you
I can't make
You understand
I have to make
Myself shatter
My own prejudices
My own erroneous thoughts
This all comes
When I ask
For help
If I only
Followed my
Own advice
More often
Maybe then
I wouldn't endure
Public humiliation
Help me
Help me
My earnest plea

Ready

Coffee dripping
Creamer ready
To warm
Up the muscles
Prepared
To do
The will
Of God
For me
On this
Beautiful Day
That He has
Provided for
His secured flock

God’s day

Sunday
It’s God Day
Let me praise You
Rid me of
The resentment
That builds up
Within me
Bless me
So I can
Bless you

Sun chips and cherry Coke

Late night
Sun chips and cherry Coke
The inspiration hits
Just as I'm trying
To power the brain
Down to a halt
The mind
Hits overdrive
So I'm seizing
This chance
To communicate
Let the thoughts
Go where they may
Stay
Run away
Or ruminate
Me and my words
The inner dialogue
A daily battle
To tell the truth
Or lie
So feelings
Aren't hurt
Or egos bruised

Kitchen lessons

The other day
I had
The opportunity
To educate
I chose
To swallow
My pride
And allowed
Myself
To relive
The past
To improve
The future
My kitchen
Served as
A pulpit
The day
I let
Freedom ring

Shore

Rising 

With the sun

The sound

Of the ocean

In the distance 

Seashells and seaweed

Washing ashore

Brushing my toes

With a ticklish touch

Weary

Hold on
To the promise
Of Your love
Your love
Gives life
To the lifeless
The destitute
The obstinant
The pride
That must fall
So You may
Rise

The dusk
The dawn
Give way
To morning
Where
Mercy
Is eager
To greet
Me
Your weary
Child

Today

Waking up
To meet
The day
Eggs and toast
A shower
To invigorate
Mind sharpens
Body stretches
Time to meet
2020 with
A roar
This Thursday morning

Peace

Walking into peace
Serenity and stillness
Unending joy
With the Master
At the helm