New

A humble prayer
Leads to defiant shout
Of Abundant Praise
I can't fix
What ails me
But I have a voice
That says
Speak up
For those
Who can't
Cerebral Palsy
You will be
A blessing
I will learn
To appreciate

Year

As I look back
On the year
I'm most proud
That I didn't sugarcoat life
It is hard
I filled buckets of tears
Smiled through pain
Marveled at what
Can happen
When you
Give up
And get up
Rise
Meet God
With my mess
And watch
Beauty
Materialize

Holy

Extraordinary Father
I come
Awed
By a forgiveness
I don't deserve
A love
Unmatched
And a desire
To rest
In the Arms
That never deny
Jesus
The embodiment
Of perfection
In flesh
And deity

Sunday

Sunday
Day of rest
Pray
Be still
Watch football
Cook
And catch
Up with friends

Repeat

Look ahead
The past
Is not
Meant
To be relived
But a lesson
Of what
Not to repeat

🙌

God gave me
A Christmas miracle
I will never forget
Jesus
You never fail
Despite my own
Thank you
For a gift
That leaves me
Humbled
Beyond
What
Any word
Can do

Happy Birthday Jesus

Happy Birthday Jesus
From Bethlehem
To each destination
Across the globe
That could use
A hug from You

Merry Christmas Eve

I'm trying
To revel
In the bith
Of Christ
Forgive myself
For all
I can do better
Release
The what ifs
Of life
For the
Truth
That
My Reedemer
Was born
In Bethlehem

😊

Cupcakes
And
Candy canes
On a sugar rush
Jesus
Come inside
As easily
Into my heart
As quickly
As saccharine
Went into my mouth

Mercy

In the days
That leads
To the birth
Of the King
Forgive my
Bitterness
Lack of unconditional grace
A mercy
That is unending
On your day
You are the origin
Of my blessing
One I am to give
Freely and without
A second thought

Pray

If I can pray
For any of you
I will
Grief is
Meant
To be shared
Not alone
You are
Love to all
Merry Christmas
He is here
For all who
Proclaim His Name

Simple things

Simple things
A kind word
A nice card
An unexpected gift
Grateful
Because of you
Blessings
I didn’t expect
But am glad to
Come back to
Every day

Berry Gordy

The sound of Motown
Making me smile
Freeing the soul
To believe
Anything can happen
When I choose
To place
My life
Out of my control
In more adept hands

Velvet

Red crushed velvet
A gold stiletto
Chanel clutch
Champagne flute
Caviar and escargot
Buche de Noel
Friends
Family
A joyous laugh
Enjoying the season
That honors
A babe
Born
To save
The world

Banff

Banff
How
I long
To visit thee
Majestic peaks
Drizzled in white
The heights
Of glorious grandeur
Of Canadian glamour
Granted by
The Master
Of Heaven and Earth
My passport
Needs another stamp
From a northerly neighbor
Canada
I fell in love
With your light
My soul
Says mais oui
To another round
Of poutine

You

Jesus
You reign
My soul rejoices
When I stay
In tune
With your teachings
My life
Only has meaning
When
You attach
Yourself
To a broken being
The manna
For my hunger
The wine
For my thirst
The comfort
To heal
My grievance
That gives a soul pause

Praise

Lord
I need
To
Thank you
For a love
I can't understand
How you
Endured the scorn
Yet nailed up
For my sin
Leaves me speechless
In reverence
For the life you lived
A painful death
And a resurrection
That can't be undone

Heart

Pray for me
The tears fly
Like a pouring rain
When you feel
like a lowly pauper
Where your net worth
Is all that matters
When those who
Love you apparently
Don't want to see you
Because you can't
Adequately entertain them
I know it's Christmas
But I all I want
Is for my prescence
To be enough

Blessings

In the uncertainty
Of each day
I find peace
Joy in knowing
How many of you
Love me
Without
Reservation
Or hesitation
Thank you
Friends
Blessings
I'm grateful
To be able
To count

Reply

Lord
I come
Wanting
An
Answer
To a question
That probably
Gives me a response
I'm not ready
To swallow
The tears
The agony
And its something
I'm not sure
How to broach

Spirit

Candy canes
Sugarplum fairy
Peppermint bark
Nutcracker suite
Christmas
How I love thee

Hope

A sprinkling of hope
A dash of faith
All rolled up
With a love
Of a Savior
Who won't
Just quit

Let it out

So much to say
Yet the words
Don’t seem to encapsulate
The pain
Of marginalization
Of diminished capacity
Gaslighting in any form
Is not a fun thing
To happen
To you
So if you haven’t known
This indignity
Count it
A privilege
Of Ableism
And Grace

Tv

Homeland
Mixed with Hallmark
A day of relaxation
When your body
Says no mas

Movie

Freezing and foggy
A little Virgin River
Awaiting Rain
A cozy throw
Watching Tebow slumber
Makes me desire
One as well.
The tree delights me
Hugs to all
Today

👑

The Christmas tree
Is up
And I'm
Happy
Just to
Sit and stare
At its beauty
Simple
Pure
Filled with joy
Reminds me
Of Jesus
Born in
A manger

The what if

Disabled
The pill
I swallow
Every day
The questions
That leave me
Sleepless
In a sweat
Worrying
What
The future holds

Date

Have a date
With a blanket
A movie
And Ricola
If only
I were in the Alps
Not on my couch

🎀

Back from vacation
Exhausted but happy
Home
Reunited with
My pooch
And fireplace

For Him

Every day
I wake up
And ask
God what would
You have me to
Say today
Do I stay still
Silenced by a crowd
Hoping I fall
Or worse fail
What you
Don't know
Failure is key
To my
Greatest work
For Him

French fantasy

Dreaming of
A silent waltz
In wildflowers
A Provençal entrance
Into purple lavender
An escape
From reality
Where nature
Has my undivided attention

April

In the silence
It's you I need
I hidden long enough
And my soul
Seeks peace
You
Are the only
Rest that
Revives
And rejuvenates
A worried heart
And leaves me
Thankful
For a choice
I made an April
Morning

😃

Frosty
Crunchy grass
Bitter cold
Means
A fireplace
Is roaring
And I'm grateful
For the blessing
Of safety
Within these four walls

movie

Christmas movie
Apple pie and ice cream
Blanket and sweater
One with the
Maple leaf
Smiles aglow
Just happy
With the
Simple things

Montreal

Space heater on
Chilly bones
And yet
Eating lunch today
Brought back memories
Of Montreal
Eating French fries
Dipped in mayonnaise
Travel
The price
Can't be put
On a memory
That doesn't fade

Friday

A sleepy haze
It's Friday
And the world
Says Thank you

Everything

Everything is a choice
Dear one
Smile through the pain
Bring joy to the hurt
Seek forgiveness
In place of vengeance
My boundary
Is not for you
For me
To love you
From afar
If I let you in
You are desired
Like a ruby
Ready for its close up

strain

Falling asleep
At six pm
Who knew rest
Could exhaust
The body
And leave
A brain fried

😀

Cozy day
Sun shining
Crisp air
Blanket and dog
In tow
It's going
To be a good day

Cranky

Honestly
Procedures are rough
I don't know how
But the needle
Never gets easier
I am tired today
It may take a few days
I'm cranky
If you have your health
Your wealth can't be measured
I'm grateful for a team
Of equipped health professionals
That allows you not to see
What I tried to hide

Prayer

Lord
I come
To you
To praise You
For the strength
I have
To face
The uncertainty
May I never
Let go
Of the
One
Who
Saves me
From me

Pray

In the silent
Morning dew
I find
Needing the stillness
To quiet a soul
Needing reprieve
From a world
In disarray
Beloved Venice
Flooded
Saint Marks
Closed
Children dying
Bullets flying
God, hear from
This child
Pleading
For calm
From a madness
Growing
Faster
Than
I can
Wrap
This brain around

😀

Crackling
Smoldering
Stoking
An orange blaze
To keep warm
On a dreary day
A cup of tea
And French toast
Fill the belly
While writing
Lifts the spirits
Of a weary soul

❤️

American born
European style
Spanish flair
Southern mercy
Wrapped in
A je ne sais quoi
Un platano
Con mi abuela
Jesus
Mon Dieu
El Senor
American drive
French ease
With some spice
Three in one
And you get me
In all its glory

Francis

The Vatican

Where Holiness resides

The beauty

Where Christianity

Comes alive

In splendor

Italy

First 

International trip

Travel

Where memories

Are as vivid

Even more

Than a decade

Later

It's a gift

I don't want

To take for granted

something

Dreaming of a time
When life
Was an innocent experiment
But then I remember
Nothing is ever easy
I've mastered it
And made it
Look easy
You can't teach
A determined resolve
To thrive
I raise my arms
In amazed reverence
In how God
Makes something
From nothing

italy

Venice
The start
Of adventure
Freezing in
February
Wine
In a gondola
Saint Marks
And a pigeon
Convention
Gnocchi and pizza
A stomach's pleasure
Murano
Blown glass
A warm fire
To still
Chattered teeth
Blessed to be
In tune
With European elegance
Gucci
Italian workmanship
La dolce vita
Transported in Fellini feelings

❤️

In the rain
The purpose
Is here
To remind us
The pain
Is necessary
To appreciate
The joy
And privilege
To wake up
And ask
What is today's mission
On the color coded
Calendar
Is to enjoy Netflix
Write gratitude lists
Or simply be silent
And still
In the presence
Of the
Heavenly hosts

Thank you

The day
I stepped
Into the church
Singing
Dancing
An anointing
Of blessing
On my life
And as I write
It's the gospel
Sung by William McDowell
That keeps
The blood flowing
Through the veins
To communicate
To the African American church
One day in your pews
Gave my soul
Reason to elevate
Tap the toes
And celebrate
The reason
I have to give praise

Poppy

Do you divide
Unite
Or stay indifferent
Veterans' Day
The poppy
A reminder
For rememberance
Of a sacrifice
Of service
To a greater purpose
A plan not their own
Red
A blood shed
Human spirit
In dignified
And rarefied air

Wilt

Repose
Brought
On by remorse
Cold wilting leaves
A bitter reminder
Of winter's embrace
A classic tale
Of a changing season
Willing us to
Do the same
Amen

silent emotion

There's an ache
When people rather
You be silent
Instead of speak your mind
I'm sorry
I'm emotional
That I care
Cardinal sin
Any tips
I need not
To care
So I get along
With those
Who say I'm intolerant
Tribalism
Need a cure
Where's the prescription
We love a label
Republican or Democrat
Designer or dupe
Where reality
Hits the road
Or am I in
The wrong

Pain

Growth
The ability
To give grace
When not reciprocated
Growth
To put another
Before yourself
Growth
Humility
An act of service
I've been made
Strong through strife
And for the first time
I'm grateful
For the pain
Pain drives me
More than joy
Ever has

cookin

Friday
I'm saying hello
body needs yoga
mind needs rest
fingers roll on
glide the keys
channeling my
inner Ray or Stevie
music playing
in the background
hoping for transference
shaking my head
shoulders ready
for the next hook
the smile on my face
means i made
the right choice
even on this damp day
that says bring that
crockpot out
celery and carrots
onions simmering
in broth
for a roast
that is my dinner tonight

Pancakes and Tractors

Country girl chronicles
Eat IHOP
$4.99 special
Followed by shopping
At Tractor Supply
And dreams of St.Tropez
Everyday
Chanel
Has nothing
On an 8.99 Henley
My do I have a hearty laugh
Listening to the server
Regale me with
The story
Of a man
Who ate
A mess of pancakes
Sixteen to be sure
Which left me
Asking
Why
Unlimited
I might
Just test
My limits

Beautiful

You bless me
Love me
In a way
People cannot
You are protein
To a saccharine world
The sustenance
To sustain
Condition
Confidence
In Your Saints
With you
I don't waver
I move forward
I use my past
To propel
My heart further
To fulfill
The promise of God
In me
I doubt everything
And in it all
You give
Mercies
This child
Does not deserve

Cold sweaty mess

Sweaty
Messy hair
South Carolina
Hot or cold
Global warming
Poor circulation
The calloused toes
Could use a spa day
Podiatrist
Should be on speed dial
Scarred and callous
Memoir title
What say you
God
Any thoughts
The Master
I need your ok
Hot and cold
Sounds like my writing
Or like
Lukewarm
The symptom
That produces one more

Pray

Prayer
The only time
I am honest
The pain
The mask unveiled
The veil lifted
Bare boned
Broken
Wholly open
To suggestion

Today

Focused on today
The blessing of breath
The tree gets a new coat
I get new perspective
A new pair of glasses
Periphery
Hindsight
A gift
Like each autumn day

Jesus

You see
The tears
I shed
Like a weeping willow
Thank you
For seeing me
As I am
Not what
I should be
Vengeance is yours
My heathen self
Wants retribution
For the pain
The affliction
That never ends
The character assassination
Stops today
God loves me
If you have
A problem
With me
That's your
Cross to bear

Grace

Rubies
A pinkish red
Reminds me
Of a time in
Eastern Tennessee
Where joy
Was found
In dirt and simplicity
God I don't know
How you love
A sinner in need
Of continual grace
Help me
Love those
Who don't know
Me at all
Forgive me
Forgive them
I'm Yours
And that's all that matters.

Seis

Six years
A Blessing
A Testament
To God
I'm grateful
For a gift
That I denied
When God
Is in it
The pain
Becomes palatable
I never wanted
To share
The pain
The burden
Yet six
And many
Remain

Open

Pearl of my eye
Rare beauty
Delicate glisten
Saltwater expanse
Hidden
Covered preserve
In my heart
I want to
Seclude you
Shelter the present
But write I must
I've kept
It all tucked away
You say no more
Burden is released
Suffering no longer
Free to be

Exhausted

I'm exhausted
I go on anyway
I need to
Let you see
Words matter
You can lift
Or deplete
I've let
Words ruin
My worth
Watch your tongue
It's why
The keys talk
Each day
Lord
I am yours
Every day
In every way
Remind me

Oui

I ask forgiveness
For my hatred
Of others
Who don't
Agree
With me
We all need
Love and compassion
As Elijah said
'We're better than this'
God you don't see
As we do
And this child
Said amends
Followed by Amen

😀

Beyond anxious
Riddled with fear
Lord I come
This early morn
To lay it
At your feet
Surrender
All of me
Seeking
All of you
The countenance
That can soothe
Any soul
Calm any storm
I come
For you
The lifter
Of my head

+

Christ
I ask why
Everyday
And everyday
You say
Teach
Educate
Understanding
Is not free
A precious commodity
To be gained
Through trouble
Tumult
And turmoil
I have gifted
you, equipped you
To speak
On such things
Go out
Into the world
Teach
Profess
What greatness
Comes when pain
Is a constant
In one's life story

❤️

The joyous day
Starts with surrender
To better angels
Life can leave
A pain
That lingers
Like those
Pesky allergies
Rise
It's a beautiful
Sunday morning
In these
United States

E

Tears of respect
Tears of sadness
Tears of admiration
Tears of love
Thank you
Servant Elijah
I cry tears
You
Rejoice
In the Embrace
Of Jesus Christ

❤️

Thank you
For all
Who invest
In me
I hope
I'm a great
Return
I'm grateful
For the love
Support
And Hallelujah

Paparazzi

In Your Arms
I see a joy
I know a peace
A sweet song
An impromptu concert
The Angels acappella
The Gospels harmonize
A special serenade
Christ magnified
The holies smile
With a shimmer
Of Divine glitter
Paparazzi scramble
For a seat
In the House
Of the Risen Lord

❤️

As I start the day
Fed the body
Ready for a soulful feast
The more I write
The freer I become
To speak truth
Release
Reveal
The woman
The girl
Forgot existed

Two

What if
Two words
That scare me
Maybe
I put too
Much worth
In a word
Is it
An opportunity
Is life
Just a choice
As to how
We live
Strewn with fear
Or
Laced with grace
I can't afford
God
I bow down
Strewn with fear
The tears flood down
A face that needs
To see the One
That professed faith
Many a year gone

Write

I had to give up
Write
It's the only way
The pain leaves my soul
I've been done wrong
And I've wrong in return
I've done an eye
For an eye
The only one
I hurt
Was You
I know right from wrong
Yet chose to choose
My own desires
Over grand intervention
I picked the world
Like a treasured door prize
And coveted a thing
That couldn't bring
Divine fulfillment
Fill the cup
Some of You
Is more lovely
Than none at all

Heart

My heart
Is an instrument
Of graceful love
Unending mercy
Radical passion
For a perilous
Maddening world
Twirling like
A deft ballerina
A steady look
A gaze
Never fumbles
Falters
Or gives way to doubt
Reminds me of a Father
Delighting in my joy
As His very nature suggests

Explanation or expectation

Rejoice
I'm glad
In you
I'm found
Loved
Without explanation
Or expectation

Where it is

Worship in the pews
Worship in the streets
Worship in the dancehalls
Worship anywhere

Among the orange leaves
Among the quiet sails
Among the tears
Center
With smiling faces
And alone
Is all you think

These people hate my politics
Said it to my face
Hiding behind
Your Twitter feed
Anonymous

God says
I'm not there
I'm here
In the heart
Of the worshippers

❤️

Do I have confidence
In my writing
No
He does
So He leads
These fingers
And gives me
What to do
Say when
I'm in the
Thinking
I'm no good
Trusting
Even if I can't believe

😀

Rainy day
Calls for Crackers
And Coffee
Cozy socks
A good book
And lots of love
From my cute pooch
Tebow

Radiance

How are you
Dear ones
Is your heart
Light and filled
With opportunity
Or weighed down
By sorrow sadness
And despair
Love to you all
May today
Beam with a radiance
Of a shooting star

Taking

Surrender
Take it
Use the distress
The uncertainty
The seasons changes
So must we
From the dew
To the necessity
Of the bumblebee
To the new hues
Awaiting leaves
Upon branches
To a peaceful
Calming snow
Falling from the panes
The fire logs
Emitting a heat
My bones seek

Sea

Wash over me
An overwhelming rush
A sea of compassion
Holy dissatisfaction
With unrighteousness
Give me a heart
To love you
Serve you
And above all
Give peace a chance
May the yearnings
Be a pleasurable offering
To the Only You

Vive

Press on
Move on
Keep on
Seek
Create
Take shape
Watch it grow
Sow
Then reap
Repeat

Drops

Rain
I haven't seen
You in so long
Your prescence
A welcome indicator
That You
Never fail
To give
This sinner
A faith-filled
Embrace
You are good
Better
Than I could
Demand

Up

The spinal tap that changed my life. Trying baclofen intravenously upended my life. Medically walking without pain. The little things make a big difference. It's an emotional roller coaster. I look back and how God has blessed me leaves me a grateful mess. 

The spinal tap

that changed 

A life

Altered history

Downtrodden and defeated

Became restoration

The orchestrator

Did it again

He works

Not when

I see fit

But when

I doubt

He says

Hold on child

God's doing 

What He does

When I lose 

The belief

Of His ability

Thine

Understanding the will
Of the One
Who knit me
Designed me
Means waiting
Not settling for
Second best
Mere mediocrity
It means
Releasing
Mine
For thine
Wholly Yours
Wholly Yours
Now
And Forevermore

The love

Lift up your hands
Say it loud
In the darkness
Your prescence
Finds Your child
In a place
I never thought
I would witness

You are here
There
Everywhere
Morning
Noon
Or night

You don't leave
And Your children
Say Thank You

Speak

Lead me to a place
Where Your will
Is where I stay
Where Your instructions
Are not rules
Or laws to
Restrain me
But a calm pat
To avoid undue harm
You suffered
So I would not

You silenced pain
Disease
Pestilence
The things
Of the world
All I need
Is to proclaim
Your ability

Guide

Finding the grace
To give and receive
The cool autumnal breeze
Sending a chill
Down my spine
Searching for a blissful repose
Along the riverbank
Pen in hand
Shuffling notes
As I get ready
To unveil
Protagonist's next adventure
Imagination surrenders to faith
In oneself
And the process
Of discovery and self-examination

Remember

I read somewhere that to mitigate fear is to do it so here we go.  I learn so much when I wander into places asking a question, yet getting a story.  Last year in South Philly, I met residents who took the time to answer my questions, and love me in a way I wouldn't love myself. Walking those streets remembering PopPop, I saw his character. Looking back on it now, I'm humbled by the place that molded the man I miss so much. The community is a hug I needed. The tough exterior masked a mushy interior. South Philly made me comfortably uncomfortable. The pride in home, the generous meals, the laughter that roared in every breath.

Make me uncomfortable
So I need to shake
The pride
The pain
In the deepest crevice

Grace

Let me say this
I've been kind
When it's not given
In return
I've had to explain
Where one should not
Need to
I've had to forgive
Because I needed peace
More than my wish
To be right

Disability gives me a perspective I didn't but have. It's a blessing to know the answer is there. I just wish it wasn't so. I'm teaching the world what some like me deal with everyday.

Cliffs.

Six miles

Along 

The Cliff Walk

Newport's

Calling card

The Mansions

Buffering 

The ocean waves

Watching

The brazen surfer

Try and tame

The white capped swells

I'm walking miles surrounded by real and perceived slights and tribulations. I have to remember the six miles and the elation I felt upon completion. I took a break at Easton beach celebrating with the sweetest treat:  Del's lemonade. Life is like those six miles. Hopefully starts with the joys of childhood, the middle gets complicated, then as we are privileged to age the journey is the reward. 

Hospital

Those hospital days
I remember
The grogginess
The need to rest
And not force progress
In life
I've forced time
To warp speed
Not letting events
Happen naturally
The process
Of learning never ends

Beckon

The rushing wind
Whirling around
The brushstrokes
Of a whimsical
Painter
Who seeks out
Delirious giddiness
In bringing His subject
To life

I'm letting God do this for me. Being out on the open water with ocean spray being my intoxicant, I release my turmoil. In that release the chains loose, and the only sensation I inhale is one of gleeful innocence. Swimming at the sandbar I have weightless anonymity. My soul fed. My heart satisfied. A Coke and wrap are my meal of choice before the waves beckon once again.

Goodness of God

I'm having to relive the pain to heal. I thought I healed. The fact is I'm not there yet. Will I forget the smirks of children, the pity of adults or my own inability to face the truth. Will I not care about what the world thinks of me. Will I take God's word as the only one that matters. Botox was years ago, but its effects linger. It's a choice I made that I don't regret. Life is a risk. I'm taking one by letting you in on the story. It's one filled with being a Guinea pig for science. I like to think I've had a chance to mold many medical personnel, and I'm grateful. I've had many residents keep me company as the needle is inserted. I've had to be vulnerable in a way that is uncomfortable.  My pride had to take a backseat so they could learn. I'm seeing that the world is like that table is like the needle being thread so that others aren't so aghast what they can't comprehend.

Basilica

In the basilica
In a sacred space
I find the place
That leaves no doubt
An eternal love
No human can erase
Montreal
brought me
Wholeness
In Jesus
Through
The Basilica
Of Notre Dame

Toxic thoughts

As I was watching church this morning, I caught a thought. Cerebral Palsy has not be my enemy. As I taught someone that Botox is not just for your face, many toxins have been put in my body to help me. Some toxins have not. Those toxins are my thoughts. I've adopted the American adage that wealth and self-sufficiency are paramount, almost holy. I've equated the fact that I'm disabled take hold in my heart. If I've heard I'm a drain on the system once, I've heard it many times. Let me tell you now, America, I'm valuable.  To the God in whom we trust. Maybe if I believed it enough, I wouldn't live in a unending state of self-degrading behavior. My thoughts needs extraction and a vigorous wash. I blame myself for my lack of faith. Making a change. Think or maybe not.

Office tales

Laying on the table
Face down
Awaiting a needle
Filled with Botox
Headed for a muscle
Hoping for
Three months relief
My teeth grinding
As the needle
Wove its way
To find the
Right spot
All I could do
Was grimace
And bite a pillow
To ease my discomfort
When that was complete
Get ready for a nerve block
In the shoulders
To get relief
I must first
Face pain
Just like life
I guess

Town life

The smell of swine
A fall day
First of many
With drizzle
The locale
abuzz with
Joyful sounds
Mixed in
With classic cars
Small town
Saturday
American flair
At its finest

Orifice

What constrains
Me more
The braces
Or the mindless
Madness
Don't answer
I know
It's the ears

Store

I used to love shopping, and now I leave a store thinking I survived. There is nothing worse than the utter lack of decency in a shopping experience today. I've been to many a store where asking a question is seen as an inconvenience. Let me fill you in. If I'm asking, I must really know. I'm glad I look able to you, but I'm not. Stop telling me: Go find it yourself. Trust me, my pride doesn't want to ask. If I were mean I'd tell you you're in the wrong job, but I don't know your pain. I'm not naming places, I will just say the world needs a course in sensitivity training. I would shop online, but I'm trying not to isolate and become a hermit. Feign a smile. Something to let me know you care even if that's not so.

Past

As a little girl I prayed to be pretty little lithe girl. A girl who was pliable like an Olympic gymnast. I would walk on a balance beam like implement that was on the floor next to the sliding door. Too bad I couldn't make a step before clutching for the door. I had big dreams, but very unrealistic expectations. When you force your body, but your mind says heck no. When you impair truth to suit a  story, your mission fails. I can tell you how many times, I have tried to write a story that wasn't mine. I wasn't willing to play cards, and my only answer was a bitterness that inundated my soul with reservational resentment. I'm addled with it to this day. I'm not a gymnast, but my mental state has taken many tumbles and acrobatic flips for years.

Italy

Assisi
The place
I felt free
In that church
The organs playing
The holy prescence
Of Jesus
Was alive
The friendly Father
Who knew English
What a relief
The joy of locals
Brought a smile
To this harried tourist
In need of respite
From my own excitement
Assisi
Holds my heart
Like its patron saint

Slow

If I understood forgiveness, I wouldn't lay blame on what I couldn't control. Cerebral Palsy, I've known you and experienced your side effects. My youth, I knew your prescence in physical pain. I now see that the mental weight you inflict has been just as bad. I'm tired of explaining to the world that I'm slow. Let me clue you in. I know I am slow, I needn't the reminder. I will never be the hare. The tortoise is my animal. Every time I hear it, I'm taken back to a time when I wasn't picked for a team. I watched from the sidelines. I watched many a ball do a swoosh through the hoop. The playground became a place of what ifs. My safety became paramount, and all I could think is I can't  argue. I haven't climbed monkey bars. The playground became a place of false hope. Maybe next time, became maybe never. Right now I have to lay it all down. Please don't use slow around me. I'm well aware. I apologize about it. I know people can wait, but I'm tired of having to give a life story for as to why.

Directive

The heart's desire
To be one
With you
Search me
Sweet friend
Within me
Be without malice
Do not seek
Disrepair or disrespect
Do good
A simple directive
In a wayward worldview

Into the light. See

Five eye surgeries
Heel cord release
A scar down
To the left knee
Baclofen pumps
Catheter down
The spine
What you don't see
Showing you
Behind the doors
I slammed shut
Are opening
So a broken heart
A shattered soul
Can heal
Become one
Start again
And meet me
The person
Who resides here

Office tales

When the doctor
Keeps a picture
On his wall
Proud that his hands
Could help facilitate
A miracle
I remember
That picture
We gave him
Climbing a mountain
In an AFO
With lime green Velcro
Doctors are humans
And need affirmation too.
Choosing the good
To remember
Instead of only
The dread I feel.

❤️

Work within me
Creation made
To sparkle
Live out
Christ's mandate
Love everyone
He did it
So can you
Monday's motivation
Love like it's
The only
Thing
On the
To-do list
Cross it off
Everyday
Like clockwork

Clean me

Write
Does it
Heal
Restore
Release
The flame
Burning
In me
To get even
To get vengeance
Only way
I can say
What I feel
I need to
Be rid
So forgiveness
Can reign
In a heart
In search
Of a good
Washing cleanse

Office tales

Observations from the office
When every accomplishment defies every norm
When the doctor asks if I'm really their patient
When they laugh and say really
And you have a wry smile while nodding
I still dread the office
I fear the worst
Rather than expect
God's best
I have thousands of office tales
Maybe I'll share

fruit

Is my faith fruitful
Is it devoid of fear
Relying
On God
To fight
My battles
Real or otherwise
Perceived
Life lived
On fear
Paralyzes
Yet I still do it
Realizing
Again
That He is
The author
And perfector
The Picasso
to my soul
And healer
To my doubting way

Leader

My first two years of college
I had an advocate
Who saw potential
Behind the pain
I thrived
Because of his leadership
Those two years saw academic growth
Physical spills
Splats
Falls
And many skinned knees
When you are a Guinea pig
You hope what you endure
Has a meaning
That doesn't end
Start trends
Become legendary
Classics

Weakness

The greatest weakness
Is to think
We live life
All alone
Life
With a disability
Feels like a country song
And I don’t know why

Story

In elementary school
I had a special privilege
I didn't fully appreciate
I rode every Thursday
across town
To another school
For physical therapy
Occupational as well
And what I dreaded
Has become a beautiful memory

Every Thursday
My mind escaped
What my body could not
Mental pain
Becomes physical strength

My two therapists
Would expect excellence
Because they saw
What I refused
To acknowledge
I would rise
To any circumstance

Grateful

What are you grateful for?

beautiful

Faithful
Beautiful
Magical
Yes
You
Are
See
Me
For
Who
I
Am

Saints, Sinners

In your circle
Is a wealth
Of knowledge
Saint
Sinner
Finds
Us all
In a bear hug

Let it out

Let it out
The gut punch
The stinging loss
The soul defining
Fight
Being better
Than those
Who come
To defile
Demanding
We cover our eyes
To the affliction
Inflicted upon us
Flee to the cross
Plead to righteous anger
Letting out the scream
Only God hears
Jesus
Defend your child
In your resurrection
I shine

Fall

Favorite things about fall?

Again

I don't understand
Why
I have to trust
Setbacks
How will I respond
I don't know how
Things
Will work out
I have to trust
Trust
Means
Surrender
Never been good at that
Try again
My life's story

God

God
Let me be
Kind
The battle
You fight
You've kept hidden
Making me question
If I've lost
My mind
Some days
Are hard
Push them away
Pray you don't explode

Ahh

Honestly
I know
I have
Nothing
To complain about
I have tooth pain
And my mind
Has gone down
A rabbit hole

Questions

Book you want to read?
Food you want to eat?
Music you want to listen to?

Relieve

Worry
Leave me alone
Losing sleep
Sanity
Peace of mind
Mind racing
Pacing
Relief
What I seek

Love

I love candy
Surprises
A good read
Dogs
Music

Pick

New York Times
Cosmopolitan
Internet

Question

What's for breakfast?
Favorite fall drink?
Last event attended?

Question

What is something you'd wish someone would ask you?
What is something you wish they wouldn't ask?
Guilty pleasure?

Together

Come together
Unify
Human race
Struggling
To come
To grips
With reality

Pick

Romance
Sci-Fi
Horror

Question

What are you thinking?
Feeling?
Reading?

Bahamas

Plea
Pray for the Bahamas. My heart hasn't figured out the best way to help. Doing research.
Love.

Question

Last thing you read

Bought

Sold

Tears

When people disappoint
Leaving in a lurch
Questioning your sanity
Why did I expect
So much from
From man
Then I think
How much God cries
Every time I disobey
That perfect peace
Dear Lord
Replace my fear
Resentment
With undeserved forgiveness

Pick

France or Italy
Ice cream or Pretzels
Cup or cone

❤️

One wish?
One random of kindness?
One reason to smile?

Prayer

The prayer of the the saints on my lips
The world behind me
Yours before me
Open my heart
Shut my lips
The tongue wants to spew
Guard me
Guide me
From anger
To unquestioned kindness

God

Chaotic winds

Rushing water

Seeing the swells

Weather

God

Telling

Us

Who's 

In Control 

Pray please. 

Football

College football team?
Gameday snack?
Drink?

❤️

Prayer requests?
Good news to celebrate?

Getting to know you

Favorite song- Fire and Rain by James Taylor
Craving lately-Fruit smoothies
Last thing I read- Vogue magazine
Looking forward to- Clemson football
Last blog I read- Couture Carrir

Your turn. Go.

Love

Joy
Make yourself known
Whenever
Waiting
For
The
Call

Favorites

Sour gummies
Fashion magazines
Care packages

❤️

Seek truth
Champion righteous action
Ask
Question
Forgive the sinner
Perfection
Gives pause
To the human
Love

Question

Last thing you bought on Amazon?
How you supported your community locally?
Last restaurant you visited?

Favorites

Two Bloggers you visit every day?
Last two countries you visited?
Last two acts of kindness?
Two favorite authors?
Two favorite actors?

Grateful for grace

Cover
Clothe
Me in
Your
Arms
Abba
The embodiment
Of beautiful benevolence
I tearfully approach
The throne
Of reverence
Knowing
Grace
Is available
For repentant sinners
And grateful saints

Dustubg

One constant
Change
May I face it
Not fear
Think big
I fail
It is done
With grand smile
A pleasure
To challenge
What happens
With an ounce
Of hope
And a dusting
Of unabashed faith

Dug

Feel the pain
Embrace the strain
Suffer
Sulk
Until
Joy
Rushes
The body
With the knowledge
That God
Is in the back pocket
Waiting to be unearthed
Dug out
From obscurity
Get up
Give thanks

Question

What did you last make
What did you last send
What did you last give away

the web

The preoccupation with why
A dangerous hole
A slippery slope
The carrot I dangle
Wondering why
The answer I must seek
Knowing the agony
I will reap
Seeking certainty
Only yields
The opposite effect
Knowing the consequence
Breeds insanity

Thank you

Thank you all for who you are. I appreciate you. Sometimes I don't say thank you for all my blessings. THANK YOU LORD. THANK YOU FRIENDS.
Name one thing that you want to say THANK YOU for?

😀

What is making you smile today?
Loving a good lunch
New clothes
New perspective

Respond

Last random act of kindness?
Last call made?
Text sent?

Pick

❤️
😘
🎀

Request

The local teachers in El Paso are asking people to send postcards to their students to demonstrate that there are still good people in the world. Will you join me?

E. Flores
Hillside Elementary
4500 Clifton Avenue
El Paso, TX 79903

Teresa Garrett
Tom Lea Elementary
4851 Marcus Uribe Dr.
El Paso, TX 79934

Alejandra Escalera
Aoy Elementary School
901 S. Campbell Street
El Paso, TX 79901

Be kind.
Thank you,
Regine

Pick

Book
Magazine
Word search

Spent

Tired of waiting
When it'll be my turn
To experience
The love
I've been seeking
They say
You must try
Because God won't do it all
Ever wonder
If only
They saw
The time spent
The tears shed

Question

What you read last?
Last thing you gave?
Last thing you created?

Pick

Dark espresso chocolate trail mix
Chips
Ice cream

Question

Last thing you ate?
Last thing you wanted to buy?
Last thing you drank?

Some things about me

I love listening to sixties music
I dread making the bed
I'm loving buttered popcorn
I have books I've yet to read
My dog is too cute

❤️

Grow
Glow
Don't forget
Your strength
Humility
Humanity

Favorite

Favorite magazine
Favorite food
Favorite vacation

Question

What are you cooking?
What are you buying?
What are you sending?

Unusual Birthday request

Today is my birthday. There are some things in life I'd like. I am learning that only God and time can provide those. It's just been more difficult to wait these days.
My one request:  Visit smidgeofthis.com
Pray for this family.
In honor of this family, do one random act of kindness
Tag #joyforcharlotte on Instagram

I'm may not have what I want yet, but I have what I need.
Thank you.
God Bless
Regine

Pick

Popcorn and a movie

Shopping and lunch

Waking the dog and coffee 

Pray for me

Could you pray for me?

Pick

Banana nut
Chocolate chip
Blueberry muffin

Pray

Please pray for two sweet girls and their moms
Ashby and Shay Shull
Charlotte and April Robsom

Cherish your health, the only wealth that matters.

Mercy

Let me be kind
Even if
I'm full
Of rage
Let me be merciful
Even when
I see injustice
Let me be
The embodiment
Of grace
Even if
They don't deserve it

Questions

Last book you read?
Last thing you watched on TV?
Last song you sang?

Humbly, thank you

Some things about me
I hate asking for anything.  If you'd like to send me anything, I'm more than grateful and thrilled.
I love trying new restaurants.
I despise trying on clothes.
I love buying books.
I read the newspaper daily.

Thank you friends
for loving me
supporting me
and giving me
Hope that good
overcomes the pain
the self-induced disdain
for self
Thank you
for being the love
i couldn't give
i am grateful
and humbled
Thank you for
the gift that keeps
giving me a reason
to continue
in spite of disappointment

Questions

Last blog you read before mine?
Last thing you ate?
Last thing you drank?

Blessings

The fresh air
Of a new day
A new reason
To give praise
I thank You
For my
Many blessings
Including you
Who read
My words

Questions

What are you reading?
What are you watching.
What are you sending?

Prayer requests

Prayer requests?

Joy in the pain

Acceptance
Can
Bring
Joy
Pain
Or
Relief
Of all of it

Questions

Last thing you made
Last thing you bought
Last thing you sold

Tell me

Where you live?
Best part about living there?
If I went there, what would I find?
What souvenir or memory would I bring back?

Joy

Receiving snail mail and gifts I didn’t expect
Ice cream
Dogs

What brings you joy?

Reward

Surrender
Trust
God is here
Where I am
Loving myself
Is loving You
And others
The hardest thing
May also be its best reward

The words flow without regard
Without regret
Disabling pain is at ease
Knowing I am
Facing the pain
Not letting it reside
In the sacrosanct places

The greatest thought
Is I'm
My biggest roadblock

Pick

Bottled water or tap

Sore bought or Farm to table

Old School or New 

Broken heart

Explanation
Expectation
I don't owe you those
I've given too much
Time to what others think
It got me nothing
But a broken heart

Questions

What are you eating today?
Last magazine you read?
Last blog you viewed before mine?

Love

Love yourself
Love Christ
Love others

Friday

Hardest language to learn?
How many can you speak?
How many can you understand?

German or Russian
Four
Five

Pick

Croissant
Cannoli
Eclair

Service

Send a card
Make dinner for someone else
Pray for others

Ideas

I'm starting this radical kindness challenge because I want to be the hands and feet of Jesus. I want to live out faith, not so much religion. Any suggestions?  I have to get back to simplicity

Kindness challenge

Radical kindness challenge
Who's in?

Questions

Last tv show you watched
Phone call made
Text received

Hello

Drifting off
As the ocean
Waves crash
Into each other
Violent and chaotic
Unpredictable
Not knowing
What comes next

Questions

What are you reminiscing about?
What are you doing?
What are you thinking?

Pick

Linguini Bolognese
Crispy Shrimp
Salmon

Journey

Enjoy the journey
The ride
Don't want to miss
The moments
I could've had

Summer

Beach
Pool
Lake

Questions

What are you thinking?
What are you doing?
What are you buying?

Pray

Prayer requests?

Pick

Avocado Roll
Avocado Toast
Chips and guacamole

Alive

Lead me
Where my
Heart feels
No fear
Smile
Rejoice
In the knowledge
You're alivw

Take it

Take it
Minute by minute
Life
Is not
A puzzle
You
Have
To figure out

Pick

Cooking lesson with Jose Andres
Soccer lesson with Mbappe
Shopping with your best friend

Monday

What are you eating.
What are you drinking?
What are you watching?

❤️

Any small time bloggers you like?

Favorite smoothie?

Favorite Instagrammer to follow 

Food pairings

Chicken and waffles with sweet tea
Berries and cream with earl grey
Strawberry shortcake and ice cream with cappuccino

Pick

Popcorn
Pizza
Ice cream

Swim

Swim
Challenge
What you know
Grow
Face fear
And
See
Where
You'll
Go

Pick

French Riviera
Italian Riviera
Greek Isles

😀

Sow the seed
Plant it
Let it be
It's God's now

❤️

What are you thinking?
What are you doing?
What are you drinking?

Overthinking
Typing this post
Diet Sprite

Grace

Smile
Be full of grace
When you
See no reason
To be

Active

Golf
Tennis
Rock Climbing

Pick

Morning person or night owl
Spend on nice meal or eat at home
Give or receive

Provide

Shutting out the clutter
The noise that clouds my mind
Seeking a stillness
That restores my soul
Awash with a calm
That Only You can provide

Prayer request

Prayer request?

What

What are you doing?
Listening to?
Thinking?

Pick

Beach house on Nantucket
NC mountain cabin
Villa in Italy

Trust

I don't understand Your Will
I must trust anyway
When I can't see
I must heart
When I tire
I must rest
In the Only Arms
Where I find Peace

Grateful

Grateful
Blessed
Abound
In Grace
Pray
You
Keep
Those l
Love
In
Peace

Thoughts

What are you wearing?
Drinking?
Thinking?

Favorites

Favorite nail polish
Favorite jeans
Favorite pastime

Forgive

Forgiveness
Is for me
As much
Or even more
Than you

Favorite

Favorite emoji
Favorite movie
favorite hair product

Pick

Beach
Mountains
Prairie

Pick

Sour Patch Kids
Swedish Fish
Candied walnuts

go

I need to feel
Acknowledge its there
Let it go
And try again

Possible

Tortured soul
Impatient one
I see
You
In the mirror
Crying out
To be seen
Heard and understood
Realizing that
may not be
Possible

Fun

One food you can't buy because you'll eat the whole box?

Right now

I was asked why my posts haven't been in depth, long posts. A part is laziness. A part is not wanting to burden the world with the thoughts weighing on my soul. I'm not up for the answers of not being grateful or lacking perspective. I'm lacking the filter of not giving a darn. I care too much. I overthink. My response might be a simplistic one, but I'm not handling criticism from others or myself well at the moment. I'm in survival mode. I need to live. I'm figuring that out.
So I'm wanting saccharine to fix a bitter problem.

Pick

Trader Joe’s
Aldi
Wat-Mart

❤️

Procedure today. Resting.

Pick

Poodle
Cat
Rabbit

yes

Being still
Being grateful
I struggle
With both
Breathe
Remember girl
If you
Can
Do
Just that
You've achieved
Your objective

Pick

Philly cheesesteak
Gelato
Chips and dip

Learning

Last week I saw some things in myself I liked, and some things I didn't. Travel has a great way of teaching you what you thought you knew and what you are learning.  Travel, the investment that keeps giving.

Pick

Toronto
Montreal
Ottawa

Philadelphia

I just got back from Philadelphia.
Hits: Museums and Food
This trip was an exercise in growth and letting go. When I travel, I learn my strength, my limits and my ability to keep asking for help. I lost track of how many times I had to be humble and ask for help. I realize we all want to be wanted.  I realized I have to smile more.

Pick

Kiawah
St.Tropez
Myrtle Beach

Thank you

Thank you
Lord
For your blessings
Love and
Sustaining
Wisdom
Grace and power

Pick

Vegas
LA
Austria

Pray

Prayer requests?

Trust

Trust you
I'm always
Anticipating
The worst
Let me trust
My heart rest

Pick

Kale chips
Chocolate pretzels
Brownies

Hope

The joy
Of letting
Go
Is if
You can do
It
Without reservation

Pick

Fig Newtons
Popcorn
Pretzels

The prison

Release me
From the
Prison
I've erected

Pray

I just found out about the passing of Charlotte Young. I am saddened. Thank you for the prayers and love you gave her. If you would pray for her family and those who loved Charlotte, thank you so much.

Pray

Prayer request?

love

Worry
Leave me
Faith
Enter
Pray
Then
Act
Be
A
Blessing
To
Those
Who
Need
One