Friday, October 4, 2019

Past

As a little girl I prayed to be pretty little lithe girl. A girl who was pliable like an Olympic gymnast. I would walk on a balance beam like implement that was on the floor next to the sliding door. Too bad I couldn't make a step before clutching for the door. I had big dreams, but very unrealistic expectations. When you force your body, but your mind says heck no. When you impair truth to suit a  story, your mission fails. I can tell you how many times, I have tried to write a story that wasn't mine. I wasn't willing to play cards, and my only answer was a bitterness that inundated my soul with reservational resentment. I'm addled with it to this day. I'm not a gymnast, but my mental state has taken many tumbles and acrobatic flips for years.
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11 comments:

  1. EllaOctober 4, 2019 at 5:22 AM

    To be a gymnast is the dream of all girls ...:)

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    Replies
    1. ReginaOctober 4, 2019 at 4:23 PM

      Not for me. When I was a little girl in the 60s there were girls of color who were gymnasts until 1996 when Dominique Dawes won a individual medal(bronze). She was the first African-American woman to do so in gymnastics.

      Delete
  2. AgajaOctober 4, 2019 at 7:35 AM

    Unrealistic expectations - that's a waek point of many, me included.

    ReplyDelete
  3. sandyOctober 4, 2019 at 11:01 AM

    ....i have a feeling though you are amazing in your own way however, you express it. We all are I believe ...some show it and others not so much.

    ReplyDelete
  4. sandyOctober 4, 2019 at 11:01 AM

    one thing i can say is i find your writing very captivating - the words you use and the phrasing you put down as a sentence...possibly you are a writer at heart.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Out My windowOctober 4, 2019 at 11:09 AM

    I was a gymnast and all I wanted was to be tall and pretty. No matter what we have we want something different I am afraid. But you weakness has become your strength my friend. Look at what you can write.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Martha Jane OrlandoOctober 4, 2019 at 12:56 PM

    We all have dreams as children, realistic or not. But God has given each of us special gifts; it's up to us to realized and use them for His glory.
    Blessings!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Evi ErlindaOctober 4, 2019 at 6:45 PM

    A well-written!
    Salute!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anne in the kitchenOctober 5, 2019 at 7:17 AM

    Different dreams for everyone I think. I was not a gymnast but my label was being one of the "smart" kids. I very secretly wanted to be a cheerleader. Turns out one of my friends who was a cheerleader wanted to be one of the "smart" kids.

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  9. JeanieOctober 7, 2019 at 3:07 PM

    Oh boy -- yes. It's really hard to reconcile what we see for ourselves and what we sometimes have to conquer or at least try to get there -- if we can. I hope you have found the beauty of you. It doesn't require backflips on a balance beams, but you're right -- there are more than a few unexpected flips.

    ReplyDelete
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