Friday, October 4, 2019


As a little girl I prayed to be pretty little lithe girl. A girl who was pliable like an Olympic gymnast. I would walk on a balance beam like implement that was on the floor next to the sliding door. Too bad I couldn't make a step before clutching for the door. I had big dreams, but very unrealistic expectations. When you force your body, but your mind says heck no. When you impair truth to suit a  story, your mission fails. I can tell you how many times, I have tried to write a story that wasn't mine. I wasn't willing to play cards, and my only answer was a bitterness that inundated my soul with reservational resentment. I'm addled with it to this day. I'm not a gymnast, but my mental state has taken many tumbles and acrobatic flips for years.


  1. To be a gymnast is the dream of all girls ...:)

    1. Not for me. When I was a little girl in the 60s there were girls of color who were gymnasts until 1996 when Dominique Dawes won a individual medal(bronze). She was the first African-American woman to do so in gymnastics.

  2. Unrealistic expectations - that's a waek point of many, me included.

  3. ....i have a feeling though you are amazing in your own way however, you express it. We all are I believe ...some show it and others not so much.

  4. one thing i can say is i find your writing very captivating - the words you use and the phrasing you put down as a sentence...possibly you are a writer at heart.

  5. I was a gymnast and all I wanted was to be tall and pretty. No matter what we have we want something different I am afraid. But you weakness has become your strength my friend. Look at what you can write.

  6. We all have dreams as children, realistic or not. But God has given each of us special gifts; it's up to us to realized and use them for His glory.

  7. Different dreams for everyone I think. I was not a gymnast but my label was being one of the "smart" kids. I very secretly wanted to be a cheerleader. Turns out one of my friends who was a cheerleader wanted to be one of the "smart" kids.

  8. Oh boy -- yes. It's really hard to reconcile what we see for ourselves and what we sometimes have to conquer or at least try to get there -- if we can. I hope you have found the beauty of you. It doesn't require backflips on a balance beams, but you're right -- there are more than a few unexpected flips.

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