Thursday, October 31, 2019


Six years
A Blessing
A Testament
To God
I'm grateful
For a gift
That I denied
When God
Is in it
The pain
Becomes palatable
I never wanted
To share
The pain
The burden
Yet six
And many

Wednesday, October 30, 2019


Pearl of my eye
Rare beauty
Delicate glisten
Saltwater expanse
Covered preserve
In my heart
I want to
Seclude you
Shelter the present
But write I must
I've kept
It all tucked away
You say no more
Burden is released
Suffering no longer
Free to be


I'm exhausted
I go on anyway
I need to
Let you see
Words matter
You can lift
Or deplete
I've let
Words ruin
My worth
Watch your tongue
It's why
The keys talk
Each day
I am yours
Every day
In every way
Remind me

Tuesday, October 29, 2019


I ask forgiveness
For my hatred
Of others
Who don't
With me
We all need
Love and compassion
As Elijah said
'We're better than this'
God you don't see
As we do
And this child
Said amends
Followed by Amen


Beyond anxious
Riddled with fear
Lord I come
This early morn
To lay it
At your feet
All of me
All of you
The countenance
That can soothe
Any soul
Calm any storm
I come
For you
The lifter
Of my head

Monday, October 28, 2019


I ask why
And everyday
You say
Is not free
A precious commodity
To be gained
Through trouble
And turmoil
I have gifted
you, equipped you
To speak
On such things
Go out
Into the world
What greatness
Comes when pain
Is a constant
In one's life story

Sunday, October 27, 2019


The joyous day
Starts with surrender
To better angels
Life can leave
A pain
That lingers
Like those
Pesky allergies
It's a beautiful
Sunday morning
In these
United States

Friday, October 25, 2019


Tears of respect
Tears of sadness
Tears of admiration
Tears of love
Thank you
Servant Elijah
I cry tears
In the Embrace
Of Jesus Christ


Thank you
For all
Who invest
In me
I hope
I'm a great
I'm grateful
For the love
And Hallelujah

Thursday, October 24, 2019


In Your Arms
I see a joy
I know a peace
A sweet song
An impromptu concert
The Angels acappella
The Gospels harmonize
A special serenade
Christ magnified
The holies smile
With a shimmer
Of Divine glitter
Paparazzi scramble
For a seat
In the House
Of the Risen Lord


As I start the day
Fed the body
Ready for a soulful feast
The more I write
The freer I become
To speak truth
The woman
The girl
Forgot existed

Wednesday, October 23, 2019


What if
Two words
That scare me
I put too
Much worth
In a word
Is it
An opportunity
Is life
Just a choice
As to how
We live
Strewn with fear
Laced with grace
I can't afford
I bow down
Strewn with fear
The tears flood down
A face that needs
To see the One
That professed faith
Many a year gone

Tuesday, October 22, 2019


I had to give up
It's the only way
The pain leaves my soul
I've been done wrong
And I've wrong in return
I've done an eye
For an eye
The only one
I hurt
Was You
I know right from wrong
Yet chose to choose
My own desires
Over grand intervention
I picked the world
Like a treasured door prize
And coveted a thing
That couldn't bring
Divine fulfillment
Fill the cup
Some of You
Is more lovely
Than none at all


My heart
Is an instrument
Of graceful love
Unending mercy
Radical passion
For a perilous
Maddening world
Twirling like
A deft ballerina
A steady look
A gaze
Never fumbles
Or gives way to doubt
Reminds me of a Father
Delighting in my joy
As His very nature suggests

Monday, October 21, 2019

Explanation or expectation

I'm glad
In you
I'm found
Without explanation
Or expectation

Sunday, October 20, 2019

Where it is

Worship in the pews
Worship in the streets
Worship in the dancehalls
Worship anywhere

Among the orange leaves
Among the quiet sails
Among the tears
With smiling faces
And alone
Is all you think

These people hate my politics
Said it to my face
Hiding behind
Your Twitter feed

God says
I'm not there
I'm here
In the heart
Of the worshippers


Do I have confidence
In my writing
He does
So He leads
These fingers
And gives me
What to do
Say when
I'm in the
I'm no good
Even if I can't believe

Saturday, October 19, 2019


Rainy day
Calls for Crackers
And Coffee
Cozy socks
A good book
And lots of love
From my cute pooch

Friday, October 18, 2019


How are you
Dear ones
Is your heart
Light and filled
With opportunity
Or weighed down
By sorrow sadness
And despair
Love to you all
May today
Beam with a radiance
Of a shooting star

Thursday, October 17, 2019


Take it
Use the distress
The uncertainty
The seasons changes
So must we
From the dew
To the necessity
Of the bumblebee
To the new hues
Awaiting leaves
Upon branches
To a peaceful
Calming snow
Falling from the panes
The fire logs
Emitting a heat
My bones seek


Wash over me
An overwhelming rush
A sea of compassion
Holy dissatisfaction
With unrighteousness
Give me a heart
To love you
Serve you
And above all
Give peace a chance
May the yearnings
Be a pleasurable offering
To the Only You

Wednesday, October 16, 2019


Press on
Move on
Keep on
Take shape
Watch it grow
Then reap


I haven't seen
You in so long
Your prescence
A welcome indicator
That You
Never fail
To give
This sinner
A faith-filled
You are good
Than I could

Tuesday, October 15, 2019


The spinal tap that changed my life. Trying baclofen intravenously upended my life. Medically walking without pain. The little things make a big difference. It's an emotional roller coaster. I look back and how God has blessed me leaves me a grateful mess. 

The spinal tap
that changed 
A life
Altered history
Downtrodden and defeated
Became restoration
The orchestrator
Did it again
He works
Not when
I see fit
But when
I doubt
He says
Hold on child
God's doing 
What He does
When I lose 
The belief
Of His ability


Understanding the will
Of the One
Who knit me
Designed me
Means waiting
Not settling for
Second best
Mere mediocrity
It means
For thine
Wholly Yours
Wholly Yours
And Forevermore

Sunday, October 13, 2019

The love

Lift up your hands
Say it loud
In the darkness
Your prescence
Finds Your child
In a place
I never thought
I would witness

You are here
Or night

You don't leave
And Your children
Say Thank You

Friday, October 11, 2019


Lead me to a place
Where Your will
Is where I stay
Where Your instructions
Are not rules
Or laws to
Restrain me
But a calm pat
To avoid undue harm
You suffered
So I would not

You silenced pain
The things
Of the world
All I need
Is to proclaim
Your ability

Thursday, October 10, 2019


Finding the grace
To give and receive
The cool autumnal breeze
Sending a chill
Down my spine
Searching for a blissful repose
Along the riverbank
Pen in hand
Shuffling notes
As I get ready
To unveil
Protagonist's next adventure
Imagination surrenders to faith
In oneself
And the process
Of discovery and self-examination


I read somewhere that to mitigate fear is to do it so here we go.  I learn so much when I wander into places asking a question, yet getting a story.  Last year in South Philly, I met residents who took the time to answer my questions, and love me in a way I wouldn't love myself. Walking those streets remembering PopPop, I saw his character. Looking back on it now, I'm humbled by the place that molded the man I miss so much. The community is a hug I needed. The tough exterior masked a mushy interior. South Philly made me comfortably uncomfortable. The pride in home, the generous meals, the laughter that roared in every breath.

Make me uncomfortable
So I need to shake
The pride
The pain
In the deepest crevice

Wednesday, October 9, 2019


Let me say this
I've been kind
When it's not given
In return
I've had to explain
Where one should not
Need to
I've had to forgive
Because I needed peace
More than my wish
To be right

Disability gives me a perspective I didn't but have. It's a blessing to know the answer is there. I just wish it wasn't so. I'm teaching the world what some like me deal with everyday.


Six miles
The Cliff Walk
Calling card
The Mansions
The ocean waves
The brazen surfer
Try and tame
The white capped swells

I'm walking miles surrounded by real and perceived slights and tribulations. I have to remember the six miles and the elation I felt upon completion. I took a break at Easton beach celebrating with the sweetest treat:  Del's lemonade. Life is like those six miles. Hopefully starts with the joys of childhood, the middle gets complicated, then as we are privileged to age the journey is the reward. 

Tuesday, October 8, 2019


Those hospital days
I remember
The grogginess
The need to rest
And not force progress
In life
I've forced time
To warp speed
Not letting events
Happen naturally
The process
Of learning never ends


The rushing wind
Whirling around
The brushstrokes
Of a whimsical
Who seeks out
Delirious giddiness
In bringing His subject
To life

I'm letting God do this for me. Being out on the open water with ocean spray being my intoxicant, I release my turmoil. In that release the chains loose, and the only sensation I inhale is one of gleeful innocence. Swimming at the sandbar I have weightless anonymity. My soul fed. My heart satisfied. A Coke and wrap are my meal of choice before the waves beckon once again.

Monday, October 7, 2019

Goodness of God

I'm having to relive the pain to heal. I thought I healed. The fact is I'm not there yet. Will I forget the smirks of children, the pity of adults or my own inability to face the truth. Will I not care about what the world thinks of me. Will I take God's word as the only one that matters. Botox was years ago, but its effects linger. It's a choice I made that I don't regret. Life is a risk. I'm taking one by letting you in on the story. It's one filled with being a Guinea pig for science. I like to think I've had a chance to mold many medical personnel, and I'm grateful. I've had many residents keep me company as the needle is inserted. I've had to be vulnerable in a way that is uncomfortable.  My pride had to take a backseat so they could learn. I'm seeing that the world is like that table is like the needle being thread so that others aren't so aghast what they can't comprehend.


In the basilica
In a sacred space
I find the place
That leaves no doubt
An eternal love
No human can erase
brought me
In Jesus
The Basilica
Of Notre Dame

Sunday, October 6, 2019

Toxic thoughts

As I was watching church this morning, I caught a thought. Cerebral Palsy has not be my enemy. As I taught someone that Botox is not just for your face, many toxins have been put in my body to help me. Some toxins have not. Those toxins are my thoughts. I've adopted the American adage that wealth and self-sufficiency are paramount, almost holy. I've equated the fact that I'm disabled take hold in my heart. If I've heard I'm a drain on the system once, I've heard it many times. Let me tell you now, America, I'm valuable.  To the God in whom we trust. Maybe if I believed it enough, I wouldn't live in a unending state of self-degrading behavior. My thoughts needs extraction and a vigorous wash. I blame myself for my lack of faith. Making a change. Think or maybe not.

Office tales

Laying on the table
Face down
Awaiting a needle
Filled with Botox
Headed for a muscle
Hoping for
Three months relief
My teeth grinding
As the needle
Wove its way
To find the
Right spot
All I could do
Was grimace
And bite a pillow
To ease my discomfort
When that was complete
Get ready for a nerve block
In the shoulders
To get relief
I must first
Face pain
Just like life
I guess

Saturday, October 5, 2019

Town life

The smell of swine
A fall day
First of many
With drizzle
The locale
abuzz with
Joyful sounds
Mixed in
With classic cars
Small town
American flair
At its finest


What constrains
Me more
The braces
Or the mindless
Don't answer
I know
It's the ears

Friday, October 4, 2019


I used to love shopping, and now I leave a store thinking I survived. There is nothing worse than the utter lack of decency in a shopping experience today. I've been to many a store where asking a question is seen as an inconvenience. Let me fill you in. If I'm asking, I must really know. I'm glad I look able to you, but I'm not. Stop telling me: Go find it yourself. Trust me, my pride doesn't want to ask. If I were mean I'd tell you you're in the wrong job, but I don't know your pain. I'm not naming places, I will just say the world needs a course in sensitivity training. I would shop online, but I'm trying not to isolate and become a hermit. Feign a smile. Something to let me know you care even if that's not so.


As a little girl I prayed to be pretty little lithe girl. A girl who was pliable like an Olympic gymnast. I would walk on a balance beam like implement that was on the floor next to the sliding door. Too bad I couldn't make a step before clutching for the door. I had big dreams, but very unrealistic expectations. When you force your body, but your mind says heck no. When you impair truth to suit a  story, your mission fails. I can tell you how many times, I have tried to write a story that wasn't mine. I wasn't willing to play cards, and my only answer was a bitterness that inundated my soul with reservational resentment. I'm addled with it to this day. I'm not a gymnast, but my mental state has taken many tumbles and acrobatic flips for years.

Thursday, October 3, 2019


The place
I felt free
In that church
The organs playing
The holy prescence
Of Jesus
Was alive
The friendly Father
Who knew English
What a relief
The joy of locals
Brought a smile
To this harried tourist
In need of respite
From my own excitement
Holds my heart
Like its patron saint


If I understood forgiveness, I wouldn't lay blame on what I couldn't control. Cerebral Palsy, I've known you and experienced your side effects. My youth, I knew your prescence in physical pain. I now see that the mental weight you inflict has been just as bad. I'm tired of explaining to the world that I'm slow. Let me clue you in. I know I am slow, I needn't the reminder. I will never be the hare. The tortoise is my animal. Every time I hear it, I'm taken back to a time when I wasn't picked for a team. I watched from the sidelines. I watched many a ball do a swoosh through the hoop. The playground became a place of what ifs. My safety became paramount, and all I could think is I can't  argue. I haven't climbed monkey bars. The playground became a place of false hope. Maybe next time, became maybe never. Right now I have to lay it all down. Please don't use slow around me. I'm well aware. I apologize about it. I know people can wait, but I'm tired of having to give a life story for as to why.

Wednesday, October 2, 2019


The heart's desire
To be one
With you
Search me
Sweet friend
Within me
Be without malice
Do not seek
Disrepair or disrespect
Do good
A simple directive
In a wayward worldview

Tuesday, October 1, 2019

Into the light. See

Five eye surgeries
Heel cord release
A scar down
To the left knee
Baclofen pumps
Catheter down
The spine
What you don't see
Showing you
Behind the doors
I slammed shut
Are opening
So a broken heart
A shattered soul
Can heal
Become one
Start again
And meet me
The person
Who resides here