Questions

 Last thing you read beside my blog?

Last person you complimented?

Last book you loved?

Last random act of kindness?

Last thing you cooked?

Heart

It’s the simple things that teach me the most. God, You use anything. Always using the ordinary to prove a point. Lacing up my new braces this morning left me almost in a fit of rage. As much as I appreciate the new, I was ready to embrace the old, comfortable and worn in braces. They’re dirty and battered. I’m acquainted with them. The new ones are not exactly the same shape, consistency and feel. The laces are different. They look similar, but not the same. I notice I can complain about blessings. The braces are blessings. It is a privilege to walk. Putting one foot forward after the other is an honor. It’s not something I’m fully cognizant of until I sit and let it simmer.  My complaint is another’s blessing. 

My gratitude list

Cerebral Palsy-you have given me more than I deserve. Seeing the world in a way I would never have otherwise. You break my heart daily. It’s not a bad thing. It gives me a gratitude for the nation of my birth. I’m granted the desires of my heart almost every day. 

God-  When I honestly and wholeheartedly seek you, I’m truly stunned at what You do in every moment. Why, no longer matters. I still want to know, but I’m afraid I already know. Without Cerebral Palsy I wonder if I would fully depend on you.  It’s true. I am too stubborn for my own good. I think I know it all way too much. CP humbles me in a way that shatters me. I am left gasping for breath. In need of air from the giver of my life. 

Broken, reimagined and rewoven. Each and every day. 

The song says “You can have my heart”. You made it. I just share it back with its Creator

The message

 May my life

Be a light

A beacon of hope

A fruitful endeavor 

A journey

That yields

Perseverance 

And a strength

To do 

Your will

Speak to me

Listen

Do not respond

With your desires

For that 

Is when

I miss 

The message

Faith

 Jesus and coffee 

I need them both

A shot of energy

Forgiveness and fortitude

To live in a world

That confounds this mind

Yet leaves it mystified

At the same time

Grant me

The wisdom

To be an instrument

Of Your peace

And lean

Not on 

My own understand

But a faith

That says 

Why not

Anyway

Once more

 Breaking in

New braces

Means 

Learning 

To walk

All over again

A task

I must conquer

Once more

Dew

 In the cool dew, my feet are awakened to a renewed peace. The winds of time give me pause to smile. God is doing what I need, when I just put aside my desire, and let it be. He works when I stop giving instructions. I fall back. He rises up. Rest the soul, and He makes Himself known. The fixer in me halts, and He meets my feet. What a thought. 

Meet me 

In the middle

And see 

The magic

That happens

When the Master

Lifts His Hands

Questions

 Last thing you bought?

Last restaurant you visited?

Last dessert you ate?

Last thing you made?

Last vacation you took?

Presence

 Chasing water like it’s my job. It’s the one thing that gets me going. It hydrates, cleanses, refreshes and restores. I’m awaiting the rain to fall, and my soul rejoices. Another chance to relax while enjoying seeing God work. Stepping back so I can be present in the now. Taste it.  Smell it.  Touch it. Let my senses glisten in anticipation. Presence is the best present. Try it. 

Monday

 Good morning

My friends

Make your

Monday grand

Tell me 

Something good

Sunday Q’s

Sunday questions

Favorite worship song?

Scripture verse?

Prayer?

Praise?

Happy for the day?

Sight

 For the past few days I have put my fear to the side, and truly enjoyed life. My body has been one with nature, and my mind has reaped the benefits. Salty sweat and cool breezes have been constant reminders that initial discomfort later brings me joy that I haven’t felt in years. I have a beauty that says makeup is not needed. When I look at pictures, the old me is there. And it is a sight I long to see. My soul is returning, and my mind is clear. Small victory my friend. I’m savoring it. You should too.  Every victory reveals characteristics not lost, just dormant. 

Happies

 Things making me joyful

A long walk downtown

Being in nature

Sweat

Good food

New braces

Your turn?

Speak

 Speak up

Speak out 

Or merely 

Watch the world

Pass you by

Cake

 Birthday cake 

Sweetness

Of another year

I’m glad

To celebrate

My princess

Niece 

Hailey

Love

 On this day of reflection, what are you grateful for?  My hugs and prayers for a greater humanity full of hope, joy and love. 

Getting to know you

 Last thing you read?

Last thing you bought?

Favorite fall treat?

What’s your middle name?

Guilty pleasure?

The Cheat Sheet by Sarah Adams

Groceries

Apple cider doughnuts

Talia

Two Dots

C’est la vie

 A bowl of Grape Nuts

After a sweaty session

Feeling grateful

For the knowledge

That acceptance

Is growth

I can be

Proud of

My answer is no answer. I don’t need to speak to make a point. Silence speaks louder than my words ever could. So many times lately, I’ve had to not comment on what I see. I shake my head in disbelief on a daily basis. I no longer count. I no longer actively seek to change the world. If it happens, I’m greatly appreciative.  If not, it’s not the end of the world.  The seeds of change happen each day when I look in the mirror and purposely smile. Think about it.  

Mom

High road

Despite

The low blow

The ego

Takes a bruising 

When you reform

Your way of thinking

Every action

Does not

Require

Reaction

Disappointment is inevitable. Of that I am sure. I’m having to reframe the situation. Every setback brings an opportunity to find the reward meant for me. Slapping on the band-aid and commencing in a forward direction. Practice what you preach, girl. Live it out. Climb the mountain, swim the lap, find your footing. The world is my oyster. Mom always says there’s more than one way to achieve the goal. Pivot, don’t despair. Each day I have to remember this. Live it out, once again, I say. 

Best advice, Mom ever gave?

Monday

 Dreaming of strolling

Rolling around 

In the warm grass

As bright blue skies

Skim my skin

In delight

As I savor summer, I realize I must acquaint with the real world. Facebook isn’t it.  My life needs to be surrounded by truth, love and the beauty of humanity. I wonder when we will actually form opinions from experience not purported falsehoods. I’m glad my youth was formed by a love of books and critical thinking. Cerebral Palsy continues to teach me that I don’t bury my head to pain, but I actively seek what feeds the soul. I miss walking to the mailbox and chatting with my neighbors as I would bring them my old issues of fashion magazines I had accumulated.  The small chit chat would lead to meaningful conversations I can still recall.  Coming inside for some snacks and ice cold coke. What would be a few minutes, would end up being an afternoon. One that brings a wry smile to my face. The good ole days can still survive if we make the time. 

Feet

Smooth feet and pedicured toes. The podiatrist chair. I didn’t want to go at first, but at the end I was so glad I completed the task. If I let my anxiety subside, I can lay back and enjoy the process. My feet are callous free for the first time in a year. This brings me to thinking that what I just put off as mere annoyances were actual impediments. I’m learning that my anxiety and fear has jackknifed my happiness in so many ways.  I shouldn’t withstand annoyance, perceived or otherwise, when there are easy remedies. God,

You keep

Showing up

In each chair

In each room

And saying

I’m with you

What’s the problem

Don’t you feel better

I love your feet

Now you must 

Do the same

Dirt

 A season of daily graces where everything makes you grateful. The treadmill with the fan beside me with eighties hits cheering me on. It’s on that machine as the app’s trainer puts me through the paces that the tears and sweat mix. If you ever told me, I’d be able to walk on a treadmill without fear, I couldn’t fathom it. I don’t know how many milestones I’ve hit despite the doubt. It’s now as my freshly showered body is seated on this comfortable couch that I am realizing that success happens when fear is overcome by sheer curiosity and an iron will. With each day I regain the confidence lost. It’s not lost, just being unearthed once again. Challenge yourself and watch the dirt disappear.  

Unlocking the heart

With the key

You misplaced

Many eons ago 

Cane pole

 Cane pole

Some worms

A coke

And Lance crackers

A day on the lake. The wind and wake combine to form ecstasy. Late summer sun with a breeze as my portable fan. Just cruising around looking at my favorite homes. Which one do I pick?  It’s almost like I would jump out of the boat, swim and introduce myself to the owners. I could only imagine them sipping sweet tea on that veranda. My only offer is a hearty hey there. When I got home, I’d just shower and collapse into my clean green sheets. My dog would still smell like lake water after he fell in, thinking he had twinkle toes as he made his way around the boat.  He would soon find out to the contrary. I can taste the sunscreen and melted Hershey bars that made a mess of my beautiful and carefree countenance. 

Simple

Summer

In the 

South

Leaves

Me wanting 

More

As Autumn

Waits to make

Her Grand Entrance

Candy

 I ask myself lately this question. What is that?  Does God my full attention. Not to complain. Not to right others’ wrongs. Am I giving Him all of me so I can do His perfect and pleasing will. With the anchor of God, each day is a reset. Daily I need to step into His word and live it out. When I veer, pain is on its way. I desire the candy of life, but it leaves me hungry for the food that nourishes. I need the broccoli and beef not Swedish fish or Sour Patch Kids. As much as I like the latter, it leaves me yearning not long after being consumed. Satisfaction comes from hard work. It comes from doing the necessary. It comes from the silent determined face that is quiet that speaks without uttering a word. 

In Your prescience

I look up

I don’t join

In worldly arguments

I just persevere 

Knowing

Vengeance is 

Not mine

My job

Is here

To complete

With these keys

You’ve put 

Before me