Thoughts

 I’m learning that life will keep knocking you down. My mind needs conditioning as much as my body. Maybe more. And for me, that’s a bold claim. For if you’ve been here any length of time you are aware of how much care this body of mine needs. Two years of physical decline with no answers have left my mind  grasping for straws. I don’t know how much time it will take the body to recover. And not knowing that has left my mind reeling. Frustration because who knows how long dreams and plans may be delayed. Who knows how long it take to return to my normal. My endurance and stamina are abysmal. And, I need that to return desperately. My body has been given a manual for improvement. The mind doesn’t work with manuals, I’ve tried. The mind is its own entity. You all tell me patience. He knows what I want. All of what I want. He knows what I don’t want. This is forced dependency on God. I know it’s best. When has humanity ever wanted what’s best for it. Or maybe you’re better humans than me. It’s a road with lots of forks in it. I’m used to struggle. I’m just tired or being so intimately acquainted with it. If this is too depressing. I’m so sorry. My friend begs me not to apologize. Some habits are hard to break. 

I’m emptying the well. Mentally hanging in there. My body is recovering nicely. Thank you Lord. My mind hasn’t received the memo just yet. The bitterness hasn’t totally left me. Am I afraid to admit, that I just put it out there. Why yes I am. But, the truth isn’t very common these days, we’re bringing it back. 

Love and hugs,

Regine

thursday thoughts

 Lord

Another day

To be 

Outwardly courageous 

Inwardly strengthened

Resolved to trust

In a good Father

That doesn’t change

Even if 

It would be

Easier if 

He did

I don’t know

If the battle

Is with 

Him or 

My flesh

Having to believe

With all that

I am

That He 

Doesn’t require

Assistance

Await

 Awaiting wet droplets

Like a kid in

A candy store

Being told no

Sometimes

It’s how

I act towards

The Father

If I’m 

Not careful

thank you

 Good morning my friends

Gratitude list

All of you. I keep reading your kind words, and it just makes me smile. 

Friends sending unexpected gifts

A bagel and cream cheese

Good music

Good news

Questions

 Appointment today. My mind is a little occupied so let’s play a game

Dream destinations:  The European continent holds the places I hold dear

Favorite food:  I love a good slice of pizza or Chinese. Gelato for dessert

Favorite item of clothing: Jeans

Favorite books:  Photography of travel’s hidden gems

Favorite place to shop:  local boutiques or thrift shops

Your turn?

Thank you friends

 Having a little dance party tonight. Letting it all go. Letting my body move and groove is doing some wonders for my psyche. Reality is still reality. But, ever so slowly I’m learning to rest. Rest is not giving up. It’s pausing the noise. Just for a little bit. I’ve been on autopilot for awhile. And I need a careful disembarkation. I’m leaning into this joy initiative. If I wait for all I want to happen to be happy, I’ll be waiting a while. And, folks, to not embrace goodness however it comes, is not smart for me. So I will sing off key, read books over and over again, and dance in the darkness. Party for one right here. 

I’m learning to enjoy my own company. Took me long enough.  That’s a story for another day. When you think you don’t want to learn another darn thing is exactly when you learn something new. I’m glad God never gets tired of the same prayers I pray. I think He needs a reminder. Cough cough. If you’re older than me and chuckling, I get it. I really do. These young whippersnappers have so much they don’t know. And, I’m painfully aware of that. Very aware. I can’t believe I’m admitting a lot of this. Yet to heal, truth must be told. If the adage is true, that the truth truly sets you free. It’s when you realize, you need to be free more than being stuck in your own brain. 

So I feel like I’ve been writing the same posts in some familiar iteration for years, but apparently you humor my redundancy. And for that, I don’t know whether to thank you or just be grateful that you love me enough to humor me.  So thank you. 

Hugs. 

Regine

Thoughts

 I’m realizing I have to manufacture joy these days. It’s almost why I walk daily. Sure it’s for physical health, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit it’s for my mental health. I didn’t feel like it this morning, then I just got up and did it. Did it make me feel better. Yes. It forced me to be in the present. It’s not a place I’m not accustomed to being. Trying to speed up life to see if the dreams happen. Trying to speed up the answers. Trying to speed up everything because your life is living in the waiting or so it seems. 

So as I walked up and back the gravel driveway multiple times, I just let the natural world become my oyster forcing my eyes and ears elsewhere. Did my sneakers get dirty? Did I sweat profusely?  Yes. With every step I enjoyed listening to music, watching animals meander. With every step, I was reminded that I can’t rush the process. It seems I must learn the same lesson daily. As soon many of you who are older than me tell me I still have time, I’m just impatient. Maybe I lack trust. My body is getting better, you’d think my brain would be grateful. I’m grateful, I’m just trying to make up for the two years that were lost in decline and sadness. 

I’m finally accepting reality that my body needs constant maintenance and upkeep. That appears in many forms. I’m having to trust what I don’t understand. And what I don’t understand multiplies days.  So this was an honest reflection. It doesn’t paint me as an ideal human being, but that’s okay. I’m just a girl emptying her thoughts in the universe. If it helps, great. If not, it helped me. I no longer have it rolling around in my mind. 

Happy Sunday friend. 

Regine

Rain

 Thank you Lord

Those beautiful

Water droplets

Hit the concrete

And that aromatic scent

Was heaven sent

fun facts

 Things about me

Trying to curb my shopaholic ways. So hard, but doable. 

Love sweets but curbing that or finding healthier options 

Rereading old favorites weekly. 

Enjoying my daily walks. So good for my health in every way. 

Always looking for new blogs. Miss the old days of blogging. 

Questions

 What is making you smile?

What is on your heart?

What is in your cart?

What are your weekend plans?

What are you reading?

My cute dogs

Too much

Protein bars and books

Rest. Body seems to demand it

A book about tennis courts. Oddly interesting

Your turn

Coffee shop chronicles

 There is 

Nothing like

Feeling the 

Wind sweep

Through 

Every follicle

Riding along

Until you

Arrive at

A favorite 

Coffee shop

Awaiting

The best smoothie

As you commence

The best spectator

Sports ever invented

Watching other patrons

Milling about

loving right now

Enjoying reading a new book

Admiring new stationery

Love funny stickers

New pens are a favorite

Loving browsing new clothing arrivals

Nice surprise was snail mail from a blogging friend

Enjoy watching tennis from Madrid

You

 To be loved

By you

Is a privilege

Even if

It means

I choose

Your ways

Again and again

The world disillusioned

By willful ignorance

Depraved indifference

Greed

That is humanity

Not You

And I need 

To remind myself

Everyday

That you are good

Even when

We are not

We will always

Fall short

Of what

You expect

You know it

Even as

Your love

Transcends color

And creed

You love the poor

With as much fervor

As the rich man

For the poor one

Seems to appear

More receptive

To your plea

It is

So hard

To love

Thy neighbor

These days

And yet 

You still demand it

Loyalty is given

To You

For in six days

You made

A place

Whose beauty 

Brings me 

To my knees

You want it all

My whole heart

Because you 

Gave me yours

Willingly and

Without reservation 

Process in progress

 Basking in

Sweet surrender

Means skipping

In fields of 

Clover and dandelions

Checking for weeds

Knowing those

Have a purpose too

What we detest

Is there

To teach

Our human hearts

How to love

And appreciate 

What we

Can’t stand

It’s in the

Tall and unruly

Clumps of weeds

That I’m learning

To live

With what 

I thought

Was long conquered

And in 

The rear view mirror

The process

The progress

The setbacks

All are part

Of a plan

I’m yet not

Privy to

And maybe

That’s the mission

Trusting

Despite 

Not knowing

The prognosis

Daydream

 Daydreaming

Of the seashore

Salty sprays

Cool sand

Coffee cups

And crisp 

French bread

Are soothing 

My soul

This Sunday

Bliss

 Enjoying the 

Dogs running

The deer prancing

The goats playing

And the birds singing

The natural world

Marching to

It’s own drum

And happily

Basking in

Total bliss

Friday happies

 Old school hits

Lunch with a blogging friend and her daughter

Fresh fruit

Down thirty plus pounds

New magazines

Shopping small

Good morning

 Rise and shine

My precious people

Praising Him 

For a new day

To sing along

With creation

Greet

 Calm my 

Nervous heart

As I stop thinking

And just let

It all be

Peace

Greet me

Like the 

Fresh morning

Dew

Questions

 What’s in your cart?

What is making you smile?

What’s on your heart?

What are you reading?

What are some new blogs or Substacks you like?

OT equipment

Your kindness

Trusting your Will

Travel books

Looking for reccomdations

Lord

 Lord

You know my 

Anxious thoughts

Take them

From me

As I

Seek Your

Face once again

Love

 Enjoying this day

And not focusing on

Tomorrow

And what 

Could be

Your love

Never leaves

I just need

To pay attention

To Your voice

Not my own

The way

 Your Word

Says not 

To worry

And what

Do I do

Exactly

I need 

To trust

That You

Know every ailment 

And have a solution

Or pathway

To handle it

Doing it

On my own

And ruminating

On how it happened

Is not the answer

I’m just miserable

And like 

Oscar the Grouch

These days

hi

 I try to keep this light and airy here most days, but let me tell you I’m being tested. Finished OT and PT to fix some body parts, and now I may have to fix more body parts. Is this the joy of getting older?  The thought of maybe having to fix more is exhausting, frustrating, humbling and scary. I had to have a friend remind me that I do the hard and unsavory things every day, and I will do it again. 

Onto a brighter note, it is Friday, it’s brisk outside, and maybe I’ll see another butterfly on my walk today. 

How are you all?

Hope

 Cool brisk morning

As I awake

To new beginnings

Breakthroughs

And a 

Sustainable hope

That can’t be

Broken

thank you

 Thank you Lord

You haven’t

Fixed the issue

But my eyes

Have been

Redirected

For today

I’m grateful

Nonetheless 

Prayer

 Lord

Guard my thoughts

My heart 

Soul

And mind

In perfect peace

As walking 

Through the 

Waiting is

Emotionally draining

And utterly exhausting 

Questions

 What’s on your heart?

What is making you smile?

What’s in your cart?

What’s for breakfast?

Last thing you read?

Praying for peace and joy in my heart as I’m in a waiting season. Been here awhile. 

My dogs

Physical therapy equipment 

A piece of wheat bread

Old books and magazines

Your turn?

Easter

 Happy Easter

You rose

You’re alive

And in 

Resurrection

Joy can

Be found

life

 Finding beauty

Amidst the pain

The story

Of life

The secret

Hold fast

Hold on

Until the

Storm passes

Or teaches

You something

Restore

 Refresh my spirit

Restore me

Back to 

Calmness

And serenity

Please

Good Friday

 Today 

You bore

A cross

Took on

Physical death

Brutality

The price

My sin

Wiped clean

Slate fresh

Because

You shed

Your blood

creation

 Be still

He says

Ironic the

Only way

That happens 

Is when

I’m surrounded 

By creation 

april

 No joke

April is here

To welcome us

With goodness

And grace

Hello my friend

Be good 

To us