I was asked recently a question that has me thinking. Would I swap one disability for another. Would I rather have my mind, and suffer physically or reverse it. I don’t know if theirs is a comparison to be made.
I don’t know if there is a right answer. And for once. I’m glad I don’t have to make the choice. I just pray that He holds me together as I struggle with trusting the will of God.
With each day I live I worry what my future looks like. Will I survive the doubt? The fear? Do I trust? Disability strips you of certainty. It can sink confidence faster than icebergs. Disability as a child is a fantasy compared to the reality I am facing.
Full dependence on God is something I always feared. We’re taught self-reliance. I’ve never really known that concept. Truth sets us free. I know it. But, do I trust what I do know. The question. The question is this. I now ask is no longer why. The question is how?
I think I would not change a thing. I would try to do my very best... and maybe people would find strenght in what I do.. and maybe a little bit of happiness.
ReplyDeleteThat is because I have also been asked something similar. The truth is that what I have to deal with is due to pollution and irresponsability... so people make this a problem...
I wish you to be well, hugs!
Stay strong xx
ReplyDeleteI don't think I would swap my disability for another - but am glad that I don't have the choice.
ReplyDeleteI have to ask you, my friend.....why would you fear full dependence on God? I depend on Him fully and unconditionally. I cannot do the things I am asked to do without Him, and I would be unable to make it emotionally or financially in this world without Him. The world teaches us to be self reliant and independent, and it's so misguiding, because we don't have anything, we don't learn anything, and we can't live our best without God in our lives and hearts. It is Him who brings me peace and protects me from the wolves who ferociously stand outside my door. ; )
ReplyDeleteYour words make me think.
ReplyDeleteI salute you and I wish you a good day!