Grateful

 Thank you for your love and support. 

I’m grateful. 

Loving also exploring my own wanderlust. 

Finding new authors to read

International fashion magazines

Receiving snail mail

Christmas cards

Your prompting

 Lord,

You know

What I need 

Today

And everyday

May I be

Willing

To listen

And heed 

Your prompting

If you would grant me your prayers today, I’d be grateful and most appreciative. 

Love you all. 

Thank you for your love and faithfulness. 

Love yourself and one another

Goodness

 Please grant me

Your love

Peace

And hope

As I trust

In Your goodness

Sunday word

 Even as the Blue Jays lost last night, they won. They won my heart. They won the real prize. And in life, my life even as I struggle with the what ifs, the pain, the almost, what could’ve been, God appears. God says your reward is not hardware. Your reward is your response. Even when I think I lose I win. Even as I struggle with the mounting disappointment of each new question, I’m reminded that I’m being tested. And I’m tired of being tested. But the test has a point. A purpose. Whom do I serve? God or my own pain?  In losses I learn what a win never does. Why does the loss always teach me more?  Why is it more valuable?  I will tell you every team for the most part has been the loser, yet the victor for me. 

Pain teaches me more that joy ever has. Because in pain, I learn what joy really is. Joy is not a victory. Sure it’s the desired outcome, but sometimes outcomes don’t teach us clarity and a peace that passes our need to know. Jesus is not giving me what I want. He is giving me what I need. Even if what I need is very unpleasant or unpalatable right now. 

Merci Toronto for giving me joy and hope. Even in losing, you are my winner

unknown

 God grant me

Peace as 

I embark

On the unknown

In the unknown

You’ve not left me

And don’t intend to 

EVER

Happy Halloween and blog birthday

 Happy Halloween loves. It’s been thirteen years since the beginning of R’s Rue. I can’t explain how this space of the Internet has saved me. It’s been a home of discovery, brutal honesty yet a hope I have no words for.  I have to have some tests run soon. I’m nervous but trusting God. I promised I wouldn’t cry, but here I am crying. Thank you for your consistency in loving me. A person the world doesn’t validate or understand. Thank you for giving me for so many years what I couldn’t give myself. 

In thirteen years

You continue to

Give me

What I struggle

To give myself

Love

Great day

 Today is 

Going to be

A great day

The Lord

Woke me up

I lost a pound

And I’ve 

Already experienced 

Great small joys

So awesome

Yet unexpected 

Truly the best

Love yourself and your neighbor.