fly

 Leap

Fly

Soar

Before 

The questions come

And fear becomes

Your default

smile

 Grateful for unexplained joy

Grateful for life giving breath

Grateful for a new journal

The television is on. Talking heads are arguing.  And yet I’m singing. My joy isn’t dependent on external forces. Fix my eyes on You. Keep loving the people who come in contact with you daily. Your ministry is your smile. My eyes speak more than my lips ever could. 

Love yourself and one another

lovely blessing

Surrender

Something

So hard to do

Is bringing peace

To a place

Marred by

Darkness

And despair

Loving others

Is helping

Me 

Love myself

A blessing

I can’t overstate

cold hard truths

 In the midst of sorrow and pain, you can despair or you can rise. In the past few days, I’ve been very intentional. What are my eyes seeing, what am I listening to, what am I consuming. Recently, I’m having to be reminded that eccentricity is not a bad thing. I’m an old soul. I’m refraining from the gossip rags, the celebrity idolization, and focusing on how to be a better human being. God’s in the conviction business. 

I’m taking care of my mind and body. I’ve long abandoned it, but I can’t any longer. I took a slow thirty minute walk on the treadmill. In the past I would focus on how slow I was, but for my body to walk on a treadmill at 41 is a miracle. I remember being a child trying to walk on it, and I couldn’t physically or mentally. I’ve probably told this story, but it bears repeating, if only for my hard headed self. Progress happens even if it took forever. 

Medically, it’s a miracle I’m as ambulatory as I am. God has been good to me. More than good.   I need to write this down for the days that aren’t great. I’m fully cognizant of that fact. My body will not always have good days. I relish them right now. I’m grateful for each one. I’m having to realize that when I wrote all my goals down in a journal years ago, only two haven’t been answered. Two. That means God’s batting average is pretty darn good. I won’t sugarcoat, and tell you I’ve haven’t been humbled. 

God does that too. Right now, in helping others, I’m helping myself. I’m finding my purpose. My joy. When I told you I didn’t serve man, I meant it. I’m not going to be a keyboard warrior, or tell you you’re a horrible human being. I’m letting God do His job. I’m too mentally tired to police the world. I’m praying, and let God lead me. Every time I feel inadequate, God says the world doesn’t need your dollars, it needs your heart. It needs your light. 

A light you dimmed. Dimmed because the world didn’t understand you. A world that will never give you what you need, but a world that needs you.  More than you want to admit or finally accept. You don’t need the world, Regine, but it needs you. Love the people in the world, but don’t lose yourself in it. Trying to fit in. You never have. You never will. 

It’s okay. It’s more than okay. The girl who still chooses old classics over new hits. The girl who would rather watch ballet over breakdancing. Give me comfort over conformity. Give me the food that evokes a memory not fancy deconstruction. Odd end in a new world. I want the truth. Not a made up mystery. 

I was reminded of something. I will always care. I always have. Always will. It’s who I am. I don’t need applause even though in my humanness I crave it. My desire for it is being dealt with every day. 

I don’t know my point. Or if I’m trying to make one. 

Live and let live

For the author

Makes His judgements 

Not I

Passion

 Grateful for unexpected joys

Grateful for life

Grateful for a cute dog

Finding the good in everyday life is proving to be a blessing. Not everyday is going to be joyful, but I can be. Last night going through the TV channels we came upon my nephew and his fishing videos on YouTube. It was pure joy to see his enthusiasm. His passion. And I want to share some of that with you. 

I hope I can follow my nephew’s example. I want you to feel my joy and enthusiasm. 

His channel is MK Outdoors. I’m so proud of him. 

Love yourself and one another. 

praying

 Grateful for a new week

A fire in the fireplace 

Unexplained joy

Starting a little something new

Keeping a prayer journal

Seeing how He answers

Prayer requests?  Praises?

sunday

 Grateful for cooler weather 

Grateful for a warm shower 

Grateful for life

I’m grateful for those around me who are helping reframe my mindset. God is working in me. I don’t serve humans. I serve God. And He uses me as a conduit to love people. Let yourself be used. Surrender is taking on new meaning each day.  I’m blessed to be a blessing. 

Love yourself and one another