Sometimes we fight because it's ultimately who we are.  We aren't meant to quit.  We are molded when we are held against the flame. We find that faith is shown when our minds and bodies tire from the strain.  The emotional toil of knowing control is the illusion.  The physical toll that is on the horizon.  It's going from merely surviving life to fighting to maintain it.  It's from knowing and believing.  Roger Federer said at Wimbledon, his main hindrance was believing.  It's true.  Without belief and a faith that withers not, you are doomed to fail.  So, I'm on a mission, to believe again.  It is rough to realize that you can no longer encourage others until you can encourage yourself.  I am having to be painfully selfish.  And it hurts me so much.
God Bless.
R