Surrender

I'm learning that your purpose may not be the one you wanted, but the one God wanted you to have.  I see my purpose clearly, I just didn't want it.  I wanted something more glamorous, and not an iota of pain.  My purpose doesn't garner red carpets.  It demands a revocation of pride.  It's requiring me to put all my wants aside.  I have a lot of wants.  I'm being refined, and it hurts.  Humility is painful.  When dying to self becomes a joy, I will appreciate humility.  The Casting Crowns song "Just be Held" says there is freedom in surrender, but I wonder is total surrender is ever possible for me.  Is surrender a good thing?  I stopped asking questions because I knew I didn't want the answer, or I didn't want an answer that would cause more questions than the question itself.  Is surrender when you just stop trying?  Is that a bad thing?  I stopped asking because I've always known that the questions I have have no right or wrong answer.  And it's not a type of question I like.  Folks, when you have to lower expectations of others and self, you will be free.  Surrender is freedom indeed.