beltway

 Home after a week in DC. I enjoyed it. More than anything it taught me to rest, and rest some more. It taught me what I truly value. It taught me to love life even if it’s not what I want. I learned what’s worth fighting and what’s not. I learned that as much as I travel I will miss home. It’s the place that doesn’t need a performance. A plea. I’m back on my piece of Southern red clay, and it feels good. 

Perspective

Deeper

Than perception

The battles

Fought

You’d never see

For it’d 

Destroy your 

Heartbeats

In a beltway

Bottom

Break

 Taking a Thanksgiving break. So grateful for all you. May He continue to bless you and keep you.   Many hugs and much love. 

Regine

Coming back

 As we are in the Gratitude season as I like to call it, I was reminded of how fear can paralyze. It’s an insidious beast. I am having to eat crow. You never stop teaching us Lord, don’t you?  I’m having to meditate on Your Word, not my feelings. Feelings will fail you, He never will. He sure is good for directing us back to Him when we stray. It seems I’ve been straying, and He seems to keep pulling me back to Himself. What a lesson. I seem to relearn the lesson daily it seems. 

Coming back

To daily

Sometimes

Not willingly 

I must admit

At first

Questions

 What are you cooking?

What are you reading?

What is making you full of joy?

Last blog you visited?

Tell me a random fact about you?

hi

 Loving it

So much

How you

So much

You show

Who You 

Are and

Have always been

Lord

 Lord

I realize

That my anxious

Thoughts

Need a 

Swift kick

In the bottom

Help me

Please

Your child

Needs some 

Instruction

Thank you Lord

 Lord

You just 

Gave me 

The best 

Christmas gift 

Please friends

Health is wealth

Treasure it

Thank you for all your love. I still have a ways to go, but this news I can handle. Physical therapy and I will be besties for awhile. 

Journey

 Covered and hidden

In your wings

In your care

As Your Heart 

Meets mine

In love

Trusting You

As my human

Hands falter

And my mind

Lets go 

Of all 

My fear

My need

For control

My desires

To know

And seek

Outcomes

That delete

The journey

saturday

Have a beautiful day

My lovelies

Take in

The sunshine

And smile

Gratitude

 My words escape me today

I’m just grateful today. I don’t have any conclusive answers yet medically, it’s frustrating, but I have to trust. 

I’m enjoying physical therapy. I never thought I’d say those words. I feel human again. My muscles are activating. I’m getting there. I didn’t know my mental health would be helped so greatly is beyond what I can explain. 

Knowing my body can work and does is a relief. 

I’m enjoying simple pleasures. Sending snail mail. Receiving it too. 

To know I’m as loved as I am leaves me in tears. I may not have answers, but in my wait I’m being shown a grace and mercy I’ve not understood. I’m also giving it to myself. 

I’m also grateful for wonderful access to medical care. It’s an awesome privilege, one I don’t take for granted. 

Please treasure your health. 

Love yourself and one another

thank you

 Jesus

Thank you

For clarity

Amidst an

Uncertainty

That is currently 

My residence

What would 

Once be 

An impediment

Is now

A blessing

In disguise

Thoughts

 What are you dreaming of?

What is on your Christmas list?

What makes you happy?

What are you eating?

A vacation

On my Christmas list:  snail mail, gift cards, magazine subscriptions, unexpected miracles

My dogs. All of you

Protein shakes and rice and veggies

Heart

 My soul is tired

Restore me

In a human

I can recognize 

I don’t know

What to pray

Anymore

I guess

We go back

To thy Will

Be done

On Earth 

As it is

Heaven

Me

 In this morning

Let me rise

And be expectant

Of the goodness

That awaits me

Thanks

 Thank you Lord

For your love

Protection

And care

This Sunday

May I be

Grateful

Thankful and

Still

Friday

 Grateful for improving health

Grateful for your prayers

Grateful for your support

Loving finding joy in new spaces and places. Love one another and yourself. 

Bless you all

Continues

 I’ve started physical therapy again. As I was told it’s been two years. The streak ended. My body is in sore need of a tune up. It feels almost like failure. I couldn’t keep my body from breaking down. It did break, and now the building starts again. I’m thankful that I have the chance to start again. I don’t know, but maybe repairing my broken body will heal my bruised spirit. So if this begins the PT chronicles, so it will be. The journey continues. 

Grateful

 Thank you for your love and support. 

I’m grateful. 

Loving also exploring my own wanderlust. 

Finding new authors to read

International fashion magazines

Receiving snail mail

Christmas cards

Your prompting

 Lord,

You know

What I need 

Today

And everyday

May I be

Willing

To listen

And heed 

Your prompting

If you would grant me your prayers today, I’d be grateful and most appreciative. 

Love you all. 

Thank you for your love and faithfulness. 

Love yourself and one another

Goodness

 Please grant me

Your love

Peace

And hope

As I trust

In Your goodness

Sunday word

 Even as the Blue Jays lost last night, they won. They won my heart. They won the real prize. And in life, my life even as I struggle with the what ifs, the pain, the almost, what could’ve been, God appears. God says your reward is not hardware. Your reward is your response. Even when I think I lose I win. Even as I struggle with the mounting disappointment of each new question, I’m reminded that I’m being tested. And I’m tired of being tested. But the test has a point. A purpose. Whom do I serve? God or my own pain?  In losses I learn what a win never does. Why does the loss always teach me more?  Why is it more valuable?  I will tell you every team for the most part has been the loser, yet the victor for me. 

Pain teaches me more that joy ever has. Because in pain, I learn what joy really is. Joy is not a victory. Sure it’s the desired outcome, but sometimes outcomes don’t teach us clarity and a peace that passes our need to know. Jesus is not giving me what I want. He is giving me what I need. Even if what I need is very unpleasant or unpalatable right now. 

Merci Toronto for giving me joy and hope. Even in losing, you are my winner

unknown

 God grant me

Peace as 

I embark

On the unknown

In the unknown

You’ve not left me

And don’t intend to 

EVER