Path

 March

You were 

A month

That tested

Everything in me

April

I don’t know

What even

To ask

Be still

My heart

As I 

Walk along

A path

Unfamiliar

To me

Thoughts

 In the swells

Lashing uneven terrain

Peace is found

For perfection

Is not present

In the Presence

Of hardship

Cracks splinter

When exhaustion

Supplants the 

Need to be

A producer

Yet the need

Is in the

Hands of

Lowly and

Forgotten consumers

Who have nothing

To gain

But a quiet afternoon

Where commentary

Isn’t desired

It’s mission

Is simply being

One with self

And the thoughts

Thought

To be long buried

How wrong

Human

What isn’t met

Returns

To sender

Man

 Nobody is

Coming to 

Save you

The bottom

The valley

Will show

You 

Your sin

Without regard

For your feelings

Life laughs

At those

Darwin

Had it right

And Jesus

Demands

That I care

For the temple

Mine

Love 

Peace

Strength

Perspective

From a very

Smart man

Today

 On the agenda today

Eat 

Stretch

Drink tea

Online browsing

Read

What’s on yours?

Thoughts

 A friend asked one simple question.  Care to make a guess what it is?  Any ideas?  Why is surrender so hard?  One day this week I was on top on the world, the next I felt upended. I’m very impatient. I don’t like waiting. I want the answers now. As if having the answers will make me feel better. Have the roadmap. Wanting to see if the dreams I’ve held for decades finally come to fruition. 

I don’t know if surrender truly and really is a minute by minute exercise for me. It may very well be.  In the meantime it’s an R and R day as I recover. 

Friday questions

 What is making you smile?

What’s on your heart?

What are some of your favorite easy recipes?

What’s in your cart?

What are you drinking?

Your replies to my posts. 

Being convicted to follow the Spirit hourly right now

Don’t have any right now. Need some

Protein bars. Workout gear

Earl Grey tea with honey and lemon

Thank you

 Thank you Lord

For sitting 

With me

In every season

No matter

How lonely

Painful

Or filled 

With glimmers

Of hope

For dreams

Don’t perish

With You

They are 

On the 

Back burner

Until we’re

Prepared 

For the enormity

Of the blessing

And the privilege

Its reality

Brings

Thoughts

 God

You will 

Convict the heart

So fast

I needed it

Even if 

I didn’t want it

Tough love

The God way

Will bring you

Back down 

To the valley

If need be

I’m needing to learn

The valley

Is not punishment

It’s preparation

For the next step

I long to take

The valley doesn’t mean 

Abject failure

But deeply rooted

Internal exploration

And examination. 

Thoughts

 Protect my mind

Body and soul

As I enter

The world

Unsure of

What I 

Might find

Today

Heal me

From the 

Inside out

As I follow 

Your will

And not 

My own

Beautiful days

 Good morning dears. 

May you 

Feel the love

As the birds

Sing sweet lullabies

The flowers emit

A beautiful fragrance

And the rain

Wash away

Yellow pollen

As I read

The latest 

New release

In my hands

Thank you

 Thank you for all your love. Whenever I doubt that fact, you show up to show me how wrong I am.  THANK YOU SO MUCH. I love you all. God bless you. 

Prayer

 Lord

Hear my 

Prayer

Petitioning you

As I am

So tired

My strength

Must come

From you

Hug me

Please don’t 

Let me

Wander not

From your sight

Questions

 What’s on your heart?

What’s is bringing you a smile?

What is in your cart?

What’s for breakfast?

One thing you want?

Contentment

My Earl Grey tea

Granola and a shirt

Bagel with butter

If I go with the material answer. Quite a bit

If I go with another answer. Contentment

You

 Pray

I don’t lose

Hope as 

I wait

For the 

Desires of

My heart

To become reality

Enjoy the present

Until

The future

I want

Comes to 

Fruition

Love me

In all my

Brokenness

As I

Become

Whole in

You

Presence

 May the sun

Kiss your face

The wind

Brush your hair

Rain to wash

The tears away

And God

To be

Present

In every season

Happy St. Patrick’s Day

 Happy St. Patrick’s Day

Not Irish. Wishing you all the joy, love and peace. 

Hugs to you all

Joy

 Sometimes having company

Is the biggest blessing

It shatters your shell

And you get

To embrace

Childhood

Once again

It feels so good

To laugh

And to remember

How long its been 

Since you really

Experienced joy

In all its wonder

Watching children

Hula hoop 

And draw

And not tethered

To a screen

Is true happiness

For me

To see

Seek the best

 Your Word

The lamp

Onto my feet

The guidebook

For my life

To manage

The fear

The doubt

The what ifs

That wreak havoc 

On this soft soul

To remain soft

In a hard world

That seems

To approve

Of the worst

Of humanity

May I follow

Your will

Not my own

My will

Gets me

In more trouble 

That I can

Ever say

Lord

Give me

A heart

That seeks

The best

In all

I’m to do

Saturday

 Happy Saturday. 

What are you up to today?

Enjoying the sunshine before it gets cold and rain

Looking forward to finding a new book to read

Want to find new healthy recipes to try

How about you?

Grateful

 Grateful for friends that feel like family. 

A nice meal out

Unexpected gifts

A friend telling me I’m a luxury item

Snail mail

Your turn?

Beautiful day

 Thursday update

Thank you for your love and prayers. They are the gifts that always multiply

Therapy today

Bought new brand of granola. Excited to try. 

Trying out a new pair of sneakers. 

Have a beautiful day. 

Love

 Sending hugs 

And lots

Of love

Your way

Emergency exit/ hugs

 Pray for me

Anxiety is high

Within these 

Bones of mine

Peace

Come rest 

Inside me

As I shut off

The doubt

That has

Me reeling

Hug me

Wrap me

Tight

So I

Don’t escape

Or seek

An emergency exit

Heart

 What’s on your heart?

What’s bringing you joy?

What or who is making you smile?

What’s your greatest desire?

What’s in your cart?

Sunday

 Coffee

Bagel

And Jesus

Making my

Morning complete

May I seek

You as

You find me

And search

My inner being

Happies

 Happies this week

Left my phone at home mistakenly. Enjoyed a ride to a neighboring town without digital interruption. It was glorious. Observing nature and people watching was just what my soul needed. Highly recommend. 

Tried on new sneakers. Didn’t purchase yet. Enjoyed the outing nonetheless. 

Enjoyed a good late lunch out. Nothing like good Southern cuisine. Love sweet tea. Don’t need the sugar so I ordered water. 

Enjoying listening to new musical artists to me. Who are your favorites?

Finding a new shirt during thrifted from a brand I love

What are your happies this week?

And because I’m nosy, what’s in your grocery cart?

growing pains

 Growing pains

It’s what 

This is

I should

Be grateful 

You deem 

Me worthy

Of great assignments

Of which

I do 

Not yet

Know

What a privilege

A blessing 

I can’t 

Fully understand

In this moment

Joy

 What is bringing you joy?  Pure joy. One you can’t contain. Big and small

I’m just learning God can and will convict you at any time, any place. It was a very humbling experience. I’m just grateful to learn and be corrected in real time.  

Off to therapy soon. Pray for my muscles and my mind. Thank you. 

Pleasing

 Let what

I say

Be pleasing

And honoring

I don’t have

To like 

Everything

Or Everyone

But I am

Called to love

The Command

That doesn’t waver

Let’s have some fun

 Rest day here. Sore is an understatement. Not very crafty, but want to try anyway. What is something you want to do, but aren’t very good at?

I love thrifting, but I’m not the best

I like jewelry making, but for dexterity challenged people it is indeed a challenge. 

Would love to see your answers. 

Process

 I saw something from John Grisham on Instagram about being a successful writer. It isn’t if what you write is good. It is just that you do it every day. You cannot use the excuse of writer’s block. Which I’ve done just that. Consistency even when in doesn’t feel good. This is a metaphor for life. Consistency builds character. It’s not sexy. It’s not fun. If my body spent two years in decline, these past months are teaching me what I’m doing is not glamourous. It’s just necessary. Have my muscles screamed in agony. Yes. They do everyday. They will always scream. Do I have strategies to help. Yes. Do they always work. No. I just trudge along. 

I no longer have the luxury of skipping a stretch day or strengthening day. My rest is scheduled like appointments would be on a calendar. To make dreams come true, Jesus and reality meet everyday. It takes a lot of work to get my brain to regenerate. If I’m not consistent, it’s lost. Let me tell you, I can’t lose it again. I don’t have answers yet. Right now, the answer is secondary to the process. And I’m doing what I don’t like. Why is that?  What I don’t like is healing my body from the inside out. And healing is more important than what I think I want. 

So am I cleaning up and clearing out. Yes. I haven’t loved the body I’ve been given. I just complained. I’m doing exactly what I said I would never. God is laughing. Does my body need a lot of more work ahead. Yes. I don’t sugarcoat that.  However, I now see the reason, even as I still don’t understand. If I thought I understood being broken down to the bottom before, I really had no clue. Each day, I recognize how God heals versus my interpretation. I will preface this by saying I hope you don’t have to endure a precipitous decline like I have. Ten out of ten, do not recommend. 

Am I in the best physical shape of my life. I’m getting there. Mentally, I’m getting there as well. It’s all a process. Process over perfection. I heard someone say it. I don’t remember who so I could give credit. Here’s to the process friends. 

Monday fun

 What is on your heart?

What are you cooking?

What are you baking?

What is one thing you bought that you’re happy about?

If I looked on your playlist what artist is playing?

The news is on constant loop

Chicken parm

Want to bake banana nut muffins

Forrest Frank

Handle

 Lord

Please hear 

Our plea

Protect your

Children

And give discernment 

To those

Who need 

It most

The world

Might be 

On fire

But I need 

Peace in 

My heart

To withstand

A barrage

Of emotions

That I 

Feel utterly

Unqualified 

To handle