Friday, September 23, 2016


After these posts, I'm learning that I'm feeling.  The spigot won't stop.  I don't know if I can go back now.  I worry what will they think?  I can't do it.  Years of suppression will overload the locks.  Should I let you see my brokenness?  Dreams are what keep me alive.  Maybe that's why I haven't been to Paris yet.  It's the one dream that keeps me going.  The City of Light unlocks my darkness.  In truth it's Jesus.  Without Him, I can't survive.  Every human disappoints, He does not.  I can't argue with a world I don't understand, and thusly doesn't get me.  Slowly, I come to grips, that I'm not everyone's cup of tea.  I have to be okay with that.  I keep thinking back to that church in Assisi in which my soul sang, and for a moment my heart delighted pure joy.  There is something about an empty church with me and the crucifix and everything feels right.  I have suppressed everything thinking that's how you live.  It's how you survive.  Survival isn't for the fittest.  Anyone can survive? Will you live?
My life's goal is to live.
The 64,000 dollar question.
Will you live?

1 comment:

  1. Sometimes I go into my church and just look around, keep silent, pray, and listen. It's one of the most peaceful feelings.