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 Sunday things

Happy November. October was beautiful in parts. Very hard in others. One day a time. One minute at a time. I’m learning again and again how God works in His time, not my own. It frustrates me yet leaves with tears of thankfulness at the same time. It’s confounding at times, but that’s okay. For a perfectionist, I’m having to let go daily even if I’m not good at doing it. Disability leaves me angry yet amazed in the same breath. It’s in the way He forces me to go on daily even if I think of giving up more than I should. I won’t give up, but I can’t say my mind doesn’t go there. I see the unfairness in the world, yet also its beauty. I’m a bundle of contradictions lately it seems. I won’t apologize for being human. I’ve done it so often, it’s a hard habit to break. I still wonder after all these years, if what I do matters or makes a difference. Then, I remember, it’s not my job to wonder about things above my pay grade. 

If He is pleased

Then faithfully

Continuing knowing

That the only

Audience

That really matters

Is the one

I see

When looking 

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