Hope

 Hope resides

Faith arises

When I acknowledge 

The weakness 

And know

Strength comes

When I accept 

Help

Appreciated

 Writing 

I hate

To love 

You

I need

You

More than 

I know 

Or ever

Appreciated 

Thank you

 Thank you 

For the support 

You give me

I’m humbled 

depths

 Disability and Depression

I don't know 

which one

has been 

a bigger nemesis

Disability and therapy

Are a lifelong affair

and accepting that fact

Right now

is the most clarity

I've had yet

i can't go back

in time

Because 

Therapy 

is a one hour exercise

in letting my brain exhale

I'm just finally glad

I'm articulating this

at this moment

it's amazing 

what listening

to european football

and music

on in the background

to get me to focus

God is editing 

my brain

so I don't 

scare you

or myself

wondering

how much 

to say

or leave

to the 

imagination

the level

of despair

to which

I can go

God happens

to be

The Only One

Who forces me

into the depths

so I don't 

meet the abyss

Navigate

 Each day 

A struggle 

To straddle

A world 

So hard

To navigate 

Not knowing 

Where

You fit

When 

You decide 

To make

An opening 

Your opportunity 

Surrender

 Plunging

Ocean deep

Where faith

and fear 

converge

wet

swimming 

not stopping

to ask why

Tongue

tasting

saltiness

and understanding

true surrender

hand

 I'm having

to meet you

every day

my heart

and mind

need to

be reassured

that your promise

doesn't rest

on what 

others do

i see you

as the One

who guards

and restores

the brokenness

i feel

I'm uncomfortable

unnerved

questioning

looking for

contentment

in Your hands