growing pains

 Growing pains

It’s what 

This is

I should

Be grateful 

You deem 

Me worthy

Of great assignments

Of which

I do 

Not yet

Know

What a privilege

A blessing 

I can’t 

Fully understand

In this moment

Joy

 What is bringing you joy?  Pure joy. One you can’t contain. Big and small

I’m just learning God can and will convict you at any time, any place. It was a very humbling experience. I’m just grateful to learn and be corrected in real time.  

Off to therapy soon. Pray for my muscles and my mind. Thank you. 

Pleasing

 Let what

I say

Be pleasing

And honoring

I don’t have

To like 

Everything

Or Everyone

But I am

Called to love

The Command

That doesn’t waver

Let’s have some fun

 Rest day here. Sore is an understatement. Not very crafty, but want to try anyway. What is something you want to do, but aren’t very good at?

I love thrifting, but I’m not the best

I like jewelry making, but for dexterity challenged people it is indeed a challenge. 

Would love to see your answers. 

Process

 I saw something from John Grisham on Instagram about being a successful writer. It isn’t if what you write is good. It is just that you do it every day. You cannot use the excuse of writer’s block. Which I’ve done just that. Consistency even when in doesn’t feel good. This is a metaphor for life. Consistency builds character. It’s not sexy. It’s not fun. If my body spent two years in decline, these past months are teaching me what I’m doing is not glamourous. It’s just necessary. Have my muscles screamed in agony. Yes. They do everyday. They will always scream. Do I have strategies to help. Yes. Do they always work. No. I just trudge along. 

I no longer have the luxury of skipping a stretch day or strengthening day. My rest is scheduled like appointments would be on a calendar. To make dreams come true, Jesus and reality meet everyday. It takes a lot of work to get my brain to regenerate. If I’m not consistent, it’s lost. Let me tell you, I can’t lose it again. I don’t have answers yet. Right now, the answer is secondary to the process. And I’m doing what I don’t like. Why is that?  What I don’t like is healing my body from the inside out. And healing is more important than what I think I want. 

So am I cleaning up and clearing out. Yes. I haven’t loved the body I’ve been given. I just complained. I’m doing exactly what I said I would never. God is laughing. Does my body need a lot of more work ahead. Yes. I don’t sugarcoat that.  However, I now see the reason, even as I still don’t understand. If I thought I understood being broken down to the bottom before, I really had no clue. Each day, I recognize how God heals versus my interpretation. I will preface this by saying I hope you don’t have to endure a precipitous decline like I have. Ten out of ten, do not recommend. 

Am I in the best physical shape of my life. I’m getting there. Mentally, I’m getting there as well. It’s all a process. Process over perfection. I heard someone say it. I don’t remember who so I could give credit. Here’s to the process friends. 

Monday fun

 What is on your heart?

What are you cooking?

What are you baking?

What is one thing you bought that you’re happy about?

If I looked on your playlist what artist is playing?

The news is on constant loop

Chicken parm

Want to bake banana nut muffins

Forrest Frank

Handle

 Lord

Please hear 

Our plea

Protect your

Children

And give discernment 

To those

Who need 

It most

The world

Might be 

On fire

But I need 

Peace in 

My heart

To withstand

A barrage

Of emotions

That I 

Feel utterly

Unqualified 

To handle