Prayer

 Lord

Hold my heart

Guide my steps

Direct my vision

And may 

My lips

Sing praise

Love

 Lord, 

It’s your child. The one who needs you. The one who wants to want you more than I need you. It comforts me that as I write this, You know my thoughts, and what I write. When I’m speechless, You give words. You are the giver. The hope of my soul. In you, I’m whole and complete. Give me what you desire I have. May I be content with your gifts. Love each other. 

Questions

 What is on your heart

Any prayer requests 

What is making you smile

Breathe

 In the depths

Light emerges

From an exile

I didn’t know

Existed

Coming up

For air

And what

A feeling

It is

To breathe

Monday

 God,

I’m here this morning to thank you for what You reveal in the quiet spaces and hidden places of my heart. I realize I’m not a lost cause. I’m misunderstood. And I’ve never taken the time to correct the record. I’ve stayed silent, and it’s not served me at all. Why must I sink into the background to make others feel comfort at the expense of my own. To be honest, I’ve not felt comfort for awhile. When I said I reside in struggle I meant it. This weekend swimming in the rain was a boon to my spirit. I figured I’m already wet, I may as well embrace it. Maybe I’ve looked at life the wrong way. Get wet, laugh, rest and reset. 

Monday

 Thoughts from the weekend

Swimming in the rain is highly underrated

A nap after said swim provides the best rest

Acceptance comes when we least expect it

Children will humble you and love you at the same time

Tea time and Barbie’s will bring you back to childhood

I enjoyed an Oreo for the first time in years

Thoughts

 Some thoughts today

I’m realizing I’m having to give myself grace and understanding. As part of surrender and acceptance, I’m tackling unsavory truths about myself. Being special and different means I don’t conform to the world. As much as I’ve tried, it’s not happening. I don’t check boxes or fill in spaces. It is exhausting to fit a mold not meant for me. I’m trying to lower my expectations for what I expect from others and myself. I would rather take cold plunges in the Arctic than sunbathe in the Caribbean. My soul craves glacial perfection and a view that strips me of sensation. It’s in the fog, that I focus. Struggle is where I live. It’s what I know. It’s what I’ve known. I don’t expect that to change. I just seek to change my reaction to said predicament. God meets where I am. Even when I’m nowhere to be found. Love each other