Dove and betodine

 A friend suggested praying surrender prayers.  For the first time, I’m considering it. For me surrendering is akin to acceptance. When I surrender, I accept that I no longer have the answers that I need or like. I talk a lot about both, but don’t do either well. This is not new. If you’ve followed long enough, you know. The irony is I surrender every day when I share each day. I surrender my need my need for perfection. I don’t know whether this or that post will hit or miss. I accept that each day may be a terrible or useless post. I leave my thoughts in this space up to His discernment whether I’ve realized it or not. The question is whether I’m bold enough to follow it up in real life. On that table Monday, I briefly in that moment when I happened to think the doctor was washing my stomach with Dove soap instead of betodine. It’s amazing what your mind will conjure up to calm your nerves. I only realized it thirty minutes later when in a dressing room i saw my stomach was sticky and orange. I was so disappointed to not be smelling so fresh and clean. I will say to any healthcare professionals, don’t ask me if I’m ready.  I’m never ready. I will say this NP never told me a thing, and I appreciated it so much. Each appointment teaches me a new lesson. Love you all