Some things about me

 I’m reading a book a night when I can’t sleep

It feels good to be feeling better

The holidays are coming up and I’m excited

Dogs make life better

Sweet 

Saucy

Sassy

It’s what happens

When you finally

Unburden yourself

From unrealistic expectations

Blessing and a value

 Learning 

That the mirror

Is not my enemy

My mind needs

To be molded

By the Father

Not others

Who don’t know

The real me

I’m getting used to new scars. And it’s freeing. Access to medical care is a blessing. I’m up and moving. If you’d told me that right now, I wouldn’t have believed you. I’m grateful for how God is faithful then, now and forevermore. When God made me, I wondered. The fact that He has kept His promise to provide and protect me leaves me breathless. I’m expensive. And He has continued to say, Not a problem. He loves me so much. Maybe I should do the same. 

Be a blessing. The only occupation that has lasting value

Mine

Letting my body relax

My mind unwind

Knowing He 

Is with me

My job

Is simply 

Believe

And watch

Him work

A miracle

In this heart

Of mine

Autumn

Sun streaming

On my tresses

Crushing leaves

Between my tips

Taking in the flow

Of nature

And letting it be

Yay

 My soul awakened today. For the first time, I’m enjoying life. 

Change can be hard, but it can be good. Thank you for telling me that tears can be good. I’ve had to let them out to let go of what I can’t handle. I realized physical exhaustion I can handle but mental exhaustion not at all. To be free, I must fully free myself of regret. I went shoe shopping today, and as the sweet manager told me she was 22, I realized at 39 what a gift time is. 

Today was a good day. I will take it. 

How’s your day?

Glisten

 Leaning into

The love of Christ

Give my spirit

A lift

The eyes

Glisten at 

The goodness

Of your Provision

Weekend

 Update

I still have to take a pain pill to sleep at night

I still cry

But

I’m slowly returning. Normal. I can’t say. I have to realize I’ve had two surgeries in two months. As well as I do physically, mentally I’m in the woods. Trying to get out each day, but I still can’t verbalize to the outside world my feelings. Besides you all only my best friend knows the depth of my pain. When people ask, I leave it that my body couldn’t handle bearing children. 

I’d ask a favor. Please dont ask a person of faith why they wouldn’t sacrifice their bodies to birth a child. I can’t be fruitful and multiply. Physically it takes every ounce I have to take care of myself. I can’t question God on this anymore. I can’t take away CP. I can’t take away genetics. I can’t risk my life. You love me so well, but just a little thought.