Almost two months. I didn’t think I’d feel peace. Know peace. It’s there. It helps to have my siblings’ kids to call my own. And love them so much it hurts. I also have accepted that physically my body couldn’t sustain life. And I couldn’t harm my body chasing something not knowing if I truly desired it or if I put pressure on myself to want two kids and a white picket fence. With the husband. I’ve so conditioned myself to conform to standards I couldn’t meet much less exceed. Perfection is a you know what. So some wishes are there, some squashed. I will keep those private, unless you can already read my mind. I’m convinced some of you can. I’m getting to know the real me. Someone I’ve never taken the time to know. Or cared too at all. God said that starts now. And I’m listening. For the first time. Actually listening.