Lord,
As I age I am starting to understand. I don’t conform. Give me James Taylor and Carole King. Give me foreign films over Marvel. I’d rather speak any other language than English. I reread my favorite books all the time. The memories I swore I wanted to forget are now the ones I long to remember. I long for the recipes of my grandparents. I’ve tried to recreate it, but it doesn’t compare. The people I didn’t want to be like as a child, are the ones that I wish I could see again. I don’t know if forty is magic, or if I’m too tired to fight fate. God brings you to your knee, but if needed, He will sit you down Indian-style like a child. Don’t ask how I know. My mind just went blank. The tears are falling. They’re not sad, but bittersweet that I’m becoming the person You desire me to be. I always thought following God’s will or plan was a chore. I’m starting to wonder if what I’ve fought for years is now a blessing. An honor and privilege. I don’t know if my bank account will make me amenable of societal love and adoration, but I will say that the fullness of contentment in my bones is worth it all.
There are so many distant memories I wish I could recall with more clarity, Regine. And true contentment is founded within us; no outer influence can sway that.
ReplyDeleteBlessings!
Regine, your thoughts above made me think of this verse, which I think sums up what you are feeling.
ReplyDelete1 Timothy 6:6-10
New King James Version
6 Now godliness with contentment is great gain. 7 For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. 8 And having food and clothing, with these we shall be content. 9 But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.
Amen. And thank you for your honesty and insights. You are an inspiration to all of us.
You're so young, Regine. I'm 72 and feel 40.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day and rest of the week. ♥
I understand you complete on some of these topics. I am beginning to think I hate all these new books I am supposed to love. Thrillers are thrilling and I gotta wonder what's funny anymore. Thanks for the post💕
ReplyDeleteWell said with lots to think about. Thank you for this post. You are an inspiration!
ReplyDeleteSometimes with the strength of God that things that we thought will break us makes us stronger.
ReplyDeleteJames Taylor, Carol King, favorite books, and no Marvel! Sounds like me!
ReplyDeleteMy youngest daughter is in her early thirty's and told me recently that she sees the world a little differently now. I'm in my 60's and I told her it happened to me at the start of every decade. You have described it beautifully!
ReplyDeleteWe change as we get older, and sometimes we get smarter too!
ReplyDeleteContentment is certainly worth more that any bank balance. Be true to God and you will grow exponentially
ReplyDeleteBlessings
Maxine