Questions

 Any holiday weekend plans?

What are you reading?

What foods are you making?

French 75

 The joy

Of simplicity

In a French 75

On a Wednesday afternoon 

In an empty bar

Is one

Of life’s greatest mysteries 

Lord

 These are my thoughts for today

Lord,

You are using physical therapy as a way to excise the mental demons that invade my soul. As my body strengthens, my soul releases the agony of what it cannot do. I’m looking squarely at the problem. The one between the ears. For all I can do, my focus is on what I cannot. And that has to change. I will never truly be happy if I don’t come to acceptance. Every time I think I’ve come to acceptance, life comes to show me how wrong I am. I’m starting to accept that acceptance is a daily practice in surrender. Acceptance right now is surrendering my need to have it all figured out. Not every issue can be fixed on my timetable. I’m chewing on that right now. It might be a long swallow. I’m also realizing that my issues are deeply rooted. As long as I’m living I will come in daily contact with them. That is okay. Maybe the problem is that I’m fighting the wrong thing.  God hasn’t got rid of the problem. Maybe it’s because this lifelong issue drove me to Himself, and keeps me seated there. I’m under no illusion that God may not rid me of what ails me, if He keeps receiving glory through my life. Love each other and yourself

Questions

 How are you doing?

What is making you smile?

What’s on your heart?

Any summer vacations?

What are you reading/buying/loving?

Amen

 Lord, 

It’s a new week. A new mindset. A day for physical therapy. I don’t know whether or not my body or mind needs more preparation. Physically, I know my body is in for a journey. One I’m equipped for. The question is this:  Can I get my mind in shape.  My knee will get worked for six weeks, but will my mind cooperate. I pray I can keep a joyful spirit as I embark on an adventure. Mending body parts has become an adventure. It’s one I don’t enjoy, but appreciate its necessity. Lord, may you show yourself through the sweat, the clenched teeth, the struggle and the discomfort. For six weeks, I will be uncomfortable. And Lord that is when You shine. Use my pain for Your pleasure. Love oneself and one another. 

Sunday

 Sunday

Your day

Means 

It’s a good day

To celebrate

All you are

To me

Saturday

 Saturday scenes

Sweaty brows

Sore muscles

Water bottles

And dirty dogs

Five things

 Five things

I’m grateful for the reminder of your goodness

You are the source of every good thing

David Attenborough’s voice is very soothing to listen to

Sunshine after rain is very nice

Good sleep is a blessing

Deity

 Dreaming

The memories

Transport me

To a place

Of reflection

And gratitude

What I know

Is that joy

Is found

In a Savior

Who took

On humanity

To see

And be seen

In a world

That wouldn’t appreciate

His sacrifice

Imagine

The devoted deity

Coming to Earth

To be in community

With all of us

And reminding us

That our status

In the Kingdom

Is not measured

In dollar bills

Or good works

Lord

 Lord

I keep searching for words

To describe

The state of 

My soul 

Right now

I don’t have them

The desire for control

Must lessen

So that

My dependency 

Is on the Father

Not my own

Free will

Of which

You give

With such abundance

Nantucket dreams

 Yesterday marked one year since my trip to Nantucket. It’s one of my favorites I’ve ever taken. The ferry rides, ocean breezes, and lobster rolls. I’m taking myself back. I realize most of my domestic vacations take place in New England. It’s the place my heart is set free. It’s ironic as I start physical therapy today, I push on so that I can continue to travel. Travel helps me release the burden of who I am. I get to meet new people who don’t know my story. I get to explore. I get to see the places that books have only been described to me. Right now, I’m in the process of digging deep to unearth why it is I have a desire to escape. Escape my reality. Create a new one. Even if it’s only temporary. To be free requires a work I’m only now truly seeking. Eventually the truth is this:  No one can free you, but God working through you to accept facts not facades. 

So as my memories bring me happiness, my present is working so my reality desires acceptance. A reality I can embrace not despise. 

Questions

 What are you reading?

What are you eating?

What are you buying?

Monday

 What is on your heart today?

What is making you smile?

Tell me something encouraging today?

Love each other

Guide

 It’s your day

And the Ultimate Father

Who Guides

A fallen world

To himself

For all 

Of us

Who believe

Amen

 Praising 

Who You are

And rejoicing

Knowing

The anchor

Of my soul

Holds

Friday freedom

 You have equipped

To love

Believe

And 

Be free

Lord

 Lord

It’s me

How you

Never tire

Of me

Is beyond comprehension

Your love

Fills my cup

When much wont 

Thoughts

 Lord

It’s me. I’m here. I’ve been asked to examine my thought patterns. It’s not been a very pretty picture. I’m a negative thinker. It’s been a truth not easy to swallow. The thing of it is I’m glad it’s been brought to my attention. You can’t fix what you don’t see. That’s the silver lining. And I’m grateful for that. Thank you. Love yourself enough to admit you can’t do it alone. 

Revival

 Speak revival

And abundance

Into this

Sedated bone

Activate 

What You

Seek in me

Love each other

Loving

 Loving 

My full mailbox

Unexpected gifts

Grilled cheese

New skincare

Your love

Your turn

Love

 It feels 

So good

To know

When 

I come by here

You will give 

Me a 

Daily dose

Of joy

Hope 

And love

Blackberry

 Walk with me

In the high grass

Under the shade

Of the tall tress

In the bountiful blooms

Of the wildflowers

And blackberry bushes

The purple hue

Staining my fingertips

And leaving my tongue s

Singing with sweetness

Prayer

 Lord

Hold my heart

Guide my steps

Direct my vision

And may 

My lips

Sing praise

Love

 Lord, 

It’s your child. The one who needs you. The one who wants to want you more than I need you. It comforts me that as I write this, You know my thoughts, and what I write. When I’m speechless, You give words. You are the giver. The hope of my soul. In you, I’m whole and complete. Give me what you desire I have. May I be content with your gifts. Love each other. 

Questions

 What is on your heart

Any prayer requests 

What is making you smile

Breathe

 In the depths

Light emerges

From an exile

I didn’t know

Existed

Coming up

For air

And what

A feeling

It is

To breathe

Monday

 God,

I’m here this morning to thank you for what You reveal in the quiet spaces and hidden places of my heart. I realize I’m not a lost cause. I’m misunderstood. And I’ve never taken the time to correct the record. I’ve stayed silent, and it’s not served me at all. Why must I sink into the background to make others feel comfort at the expense of my own. To be honest, I’ve not felt comfort for awhile. When I said I reside in struggle I meant it. This weekend swimming in the rain was a boon to my spirit. I figured I’m already wet, I may as well embrace it. Maybe I’ve looked at life the wrong way. Get wet, laugh, rest and reset. 

Monday

 Thoughts from the weekend

Swimming in the rain is highly underrated

A nap after said swim provides the best rest

Acceptance comes when we least expect it

Children will humble you and love you at the same time

Tea time and Barbie’s will bring you back to childhood

I enjoyed an Oreo for the first time in years

Thoughts

 Some thoughts today

I’m realizing I’m having to give myself grace and understanding. As part of surrender and acceptance, I’m tackling unsavory truths about myself. Being special and different means I don’t conform to the world. As much as I’ve tried, it’s not happening. I don’t check boxes or fill in spaces. It is exhausting to fit a mold not meant for me. I’m trying to lower my expectations for what I expect from others and myself. I would rather take cold plunges in the Arctic than sunbathe in the Caribbean. My soul craves glacial perfection and a view that strips me of sensation. It’s in the fog, that I focus. Struggle is where I live. It’s what I know. It’s what I’ve known. I don’t expect that to change. I just seek to change my reaction to said predicament. God meets where I am. Even when I’m nowhere to be found. Love each other