New year

 New Year

Same God

Different me

Same God

Trust and obey

New year

Same story

It all starts

And ends

With the 

Father

necessary

 In the

Cold winter air

I’m reminded 

That all 

Seasons are 

Necessary

The ones

I don’t like

Are the 

Most useful

For growth

Pruning

Sowing

And reaping

May difficulty

Not scare me

But be welcomed

With open arms 

Learn

 What I’m learning

I got an unexpected gift this Christmas. It was wrapped so well. It was so pretty. I didn’t want to open it. I still have the ribbon. Christmas has been beautiful, yet tested my mettle. God is good. Even when I’m not. All the pretty exterior can’t mask inner turmoil. I’ve been in a battle with my own body and mind. And my goal for the New Year is a consistent perseverance. 

God never stops refining us. Never lets off the gas. He is the driver of my car, not me. 

Your will not mine is the hardest lesson I constantly relearn even if I don’t want to. Isn’t that how He works. 

Love Regine

Questions

 What are you making?

What are you eating?

What is bringing you joy?

Favorite Christmas gift?

Love

 It’s been mentally and physically taxing in recovery. Holidays are not great times to recover. I’m beyond cranky. Pray for me please. I write this because you all have asked that I continue to share my love and light. The fact is I’m not feeling the love and light right now. I’m a flawed human being in need of His light. God Bless you all

Merry Christmas

 Merry Christmas. The weary world rejoices. 

Sending love and light

Your way

May it

Be a day

Of joy

Hope and 

Love

Hugs

 Procedure day. Taking some days off. Love you all. God bless you all. 

Loving snail mail

Shopping at The House of Ford in Greenville, SC. They ship too. 

Good friends

Hugs

Jesus

Your turn?

exhaustion

This morning was an exhausting one to say the least. I truly hope that none of you ever become disabled or need help. I don’t have the energy to rehash it. I just hope for humanity to not experience the indignity I have.  I guess it is an inconvenience for you. Walk in my shoes for one minute. I don’t know if you could. I no longer have the luxury to give the benefit of the doubt. Silver spoons are not available for me. I’m learning what to fight. I’m starting to wonder if it is a losing battle to educate. 

We want easy. Too bad, God didn’t give me a ride on Easy Street. 

I’m not sour. I’m realistic. The rose colored glasses shatter and shatter again. I don’t know which part of me is more exhausted. Is it the physical body or the mind. 

We all say we want a simpler time. I just want a time when we weren’t so self-centered or gave a darn. Truth is something we say we want, but can’t handle. God bless you  

love

 Stopping to savor 

The richness

Of morning coffee

The savory goodness

Of a crusty 

And flaky

Buttery

French bread

While I

Catch up 

With two

Of my favorite

Redheads

Makes

This brunette

One blessed

And content

Beauty

saturday

 Happy Saturday

Christmas lights

Cool nights

Hot cocoa

In a 

Santa mug

As St. Nick

And Rudolph

Relax

Before 

The upcoming journey

Questions

 What is making you smile?

What are you making?

Any holiday plans?

What are you reading?

What are you giving others?

Mystery

 God,

Thank you

For the blessings

I don’t see

Or know

Are blessings

In that moment

Until much later

It’s in an

Iced latte

Purchased

With a gift card

A hug 

I wasn’t expecting 

And a conversation 

That made me smile

Joy is in

The ordinary

Where nothing

Is guaranteed

But surprises

Yield a benefit

That isn’t quantifiable 

Enjoy the journey

It can be

Beautiful

In its

Own mystery

Love

 My body

Feels a little 

Pained this morning

Sending hugs

And love

Your way

Tuesday

 The body

Is moving 

Albeit slowly

This morning

Smile brightly

And prosper

My friends

woods

 Green juice

Some tunes

A little writing

Gratitude

And 

Jesus

The makings

Of a good

Day in my

Neck of the woods

Me

I’m having to just be still. Quiet. 

Fighting

No longer

Gives me 

Joy

My hope

Is in 

The Father

Who fights

For me

Unblemished.

 As I get older

I learn

Silence

Speaks louder

Than words

Ever could

And keeping

My side of

The street clean

Is a full time job

If I’d like

My sanity

And moral compass 

Remain unblemished. 

Cashmere dreams

 Cuddled in cashmere 

And a heating pad

My muscles

Are screaming

From PT

Looks like rest 

And hydration

Are on the menu

I’m loving the Christmas cards coming to my mailbox. It’s the small things friends. Love you. 

Questions

 What is your spirit like?

What is your biggest wish?

What is your biggest hope?

What are you reading?

Best place you’ve ever traveled?

Accept

 Sometimes you will be in places and be a light even when you least expect it.  Sometimes being yourself is the blessing. I’m learning confidence and assertiveness are not a weakness. It’s calculated strength when needed. I’ve spent years apologizing for who I am. I was and am in the wrong. God didn’t make a mistake, therefore neither have I. I’ve spent years following the story. Searching for one. The story is me. I’m the story. God keeps reiterating that. I’ve finally accepted it. Sending much love to all who need it

Stop searching

And accept

The answer

Whether 

I like it

Or not

Mercies

 Today

I’m thanking God for a new day and new mercies

Today I’m thankful for your love

Today I’m grateful for a full heart

And a full belly

I could complain, but it does no good. 

Grateful for some good magazines for distraction and dreaming. 

It’s your turn. 

Hugs

 Send some prayers my way please. My body is not cooperating today. So I’m sending hugs and love your way. 

What is bringing you joy today?

Sunday

 The beautiful Christmas cards arriving in my mailbox are making me smile so wide. Thank you so much. There is a Boston butt in my crock pot. A fire in the fireplace. Christmas music on. I’m savoring and reveling in the small things. 

I roasted some marshmallows last night as I was watching the ball games. Nothing like that ooey gooey goodness. 

Peace and contentment are true gifts. 

Have a beautiful day my friends. 

mercy

 On a cooking kick. Send me those recipes please

God gives us answers

When we stop asking

Lord have mercy

Rainy day

 It’s a rainy 

And cold day

Here

And yet

All I can

Think

It’s perfect

As I search

For old recipes

As my oven

And I 

Have some

Collaboration

Upcoming

Love

 Seeing your comments of love and appreciation for me leaves me humbled and speechless. For a girl who people always wondered what her purpose would be, and whether it mattered, I can now answer that question. I’m realizing that I don’t need validation. It’s nice to have, but not necessary. Jesus and the therapy chair are curing my need for outward acceptance. As are you all even as you lavish me with a love I don’t merit. I don’t bring home bacon. I just try to give my little world a smile. That’s enough it seems. May your days be merry. Your hearts joyful. Your light never dimmed. 

Love you all so much. 

Regine

peace

 Finding peace

In silent

Stillness

And sitting

With my 

Own thoughts 

Without anxiety

questions

 What are you drinking?

What are you eating?

What are you making?

What is on your Christmas list?

What is making you smile?

Coffee

Granola bar

Pancakes

La ligne sweaters, jeans, blue jays gear

Snail mail

lessons

 What DC taught me

Ask for help. You will be helped. 

Enjoy the simple pleasures. They are the ones you’ll always remember. 

Jesus will show up when you least expect it 

Taking walks will lead to the best discoveries

Eat the dessert

beltway

 Home after a week in DC. I enjoyed it. More than anything it taught me to rest, and rest some more. It taught me what I truly value. It taught me to love life even if it’s not what I want. I learned what’s worth fighting and what’s not. I learned that as much as I travel I will miss home. It’s the place that doesn’t need a performance. A plea. I’m back on my piece of Southern red clay, and it feels good. 

Perspective

Deeper

Than perception

The battles

Fought

You’d never see

For it’d 

Destroy your 

Heartbeats

In a beltway

Bottom

Break

 Taking a Thanksgiving break. So grateful for all you. May He continue to bless you and keep you.   Many hugs and much love. 

Regine

Coming back

 As we are in the Gratitude season as I like to call it, I was reminded of how fear can paralyze. It’s an insidious beast. I am having to eat crow. You never stop teaching us Lord, don’t you?  I’m having to meditate on Your Word, not my feelings. Feelings will fail you, He never will. He sure is good for directing us back to Him when we stray. It seems I’ve been straying, and He seems to keep pulling me back to Himself. What a lesson. I seem to relearn the lesson daily it seems. 

Coming back

To daily

Sometimes

Not willingly 

I must admit

At first

Questions

 What are you cooking?

What are you reading?

What is making you full of joy?

Last blog you visited?

Tell me a random fact about you?

hi

 Loving it

So much

How you

So much

You show

Who You 

Are and

Have always been

Lord

 Lord

I realize

That my anxious

Thoughts

Need a 

Swift kick

In the bottom

Help me

Please

Your child

Needs some 

Instruction

Thank you Lord

 Lord

You just 

Gave me 

The best 

Christmas gift 

Please friends

Health is wealth

Treasure it

Thank you for all your love. I still have a ways to go, but this news I can handle. Physical therapy and I will be besties for awhile. 

Journey

 Covered and hidden

In your wings

In your care

As Your Heart 

Meets mine

In love

Trusting You

As my human

Hands falter

And my mind

Lets go 

Of all 

My fear

My need

For control

My desires

To know

And seek

Outcomes

That delete

The journey

saturday

Have a beautiful day

My lovelies

Take in

The sunshine

And smile

Gratitude

 My words escape me today

I’m just grateful today. I don’t have any conclusive answers yet medically, it’s frustrating, but I have to trust. 

I’m enjoying physical therapy. I never thought I’d say those words. I feel human again. My muscles are activating. I’m getting there. I didn’t know my mental health would be helped so greatly is beyond what I can explain. 

Knowing my body can work and does is a relief. 

I’m enjoying simple pleasures. Sending snail mail. Receiving it too. 

To know I’m as loved as I am leaves me in tears. I may not have answers, but in my wait I’m being shown a grace and mercy I’ve not understood. I’m also giving it to myself. 

I’m also grateful for wonderful access to medical care. It’s an awesome privilege, one I don’t take for granted. 

Please treasure your health. 

Love yourself and one another

thank you

 Jesus

Thank you

For clarity

Amidst an

Uncertainty

That is currently 

My residence

What would 

Once be 

An impediment

Is now

A blessing

In disguise

Thoughts

 What are you dreaming of?

What is on your Christmas list?

What makes you happy?

What are you eating?

A vacation

On my Christmas list:  snail mail, gift cards, magazine subscriptions, unexpected miracles

My dogs. All of you

Protein shakes and rice and veggies

Heart

 My soul is tired

Restore me

In a human

I can recognize 

I don’t know

What to pray

Anymore

I guess

We go back

To thy Will

Be done

On Earth 

As it is

Heaven

Me

 In this morning

Let me rise

And be expectant

Of the goodness

That awaits me

Thanks

 Thank you Lord

For your love

Protection

And care

This Sunday

May I be

Grateful

Thankful and

Still

Friday

 Grateful for improving health

Grateful for your prayers

Grateful for your support

Loving finding joy in new spaces and places. Love one another and yourself. 

Bless you all

Continues

 I’ve started physical therapy again. As I was told it’s been two years. The streak ended. My body is in sore need of a tune up. It feels almost like failure. I couldn’t keep my body from breaking down. It did break, and now the building starts again. I’m thankful that I have the chance to start again. I don’t know, but maybe repairing my broken body will heal my bruised spirit. So if this begins the PT chronicles, so it will be. The journey continues. 

Grateful

 Thank you for your love and support. 

I’m grateful. 

Loving also exploring my own wanderlust. 

Finding new authors to read

International fashion magazines

Receiving snail mail

Christmas cards

Your prompting

 Lord,

You know

What I need 

Today

And everyday

May I be

Willing

To listen

And heed 

Your prompting

If you would grant me your prayers today, I’d be grateful and most appreciative. 

Love you all. 

Thank you for your love and faithfulness. 

Love yourself and one another

Goodness

 Please grant me

Your love

Peace

And hope

As I trust

In Your goodness

Sunday word

 Even as the Blue Jays lost last night, they won. They won my heart. They won the real prize. And in life, my life even as I struggle with the what ifs, the pain, the almost, what could’ve been, God appears. God says your reward is not hardware. Your reward is your response. Even when I think I lose I win. Even as I struggle with the mounting disappointment of each new question, I’m reminded that I’m being tested. And I’m tired of being tested. But the test has a point. A purpose. Whom do I serve? God or my own pain?  In losses I learn what a win never does. Why does the loss always teach me more?  Why is it more valuable?  I will tell you every team for the most part has been the loser, yet the victor for me. 

Pain teaches me more that joy ever has. Because in pain, I learn what joy really is. Joy is not a victory. Sure it’s the desired outcome, but sometimes outcomes don’t teach us clarity and a peace that passes our need to know. Jesus is not giving me what I want. He is giving me what I need. Even if what I need is very unpleasant or unpalatable right now. 

Merci Toronto for giving me joy and hope. Even in losing, you are my winner

unknown

 God grant me

Peace as 

I embark

On the unknown

In the unknown

You’ve not left me

And don’t intend to 

EVER

Happy Halloween and blog birthday

 Happy Halloween loves. It’s been thirteen years since the beginning of R’s Rue. I can’t explain how this space of the Internet has saved me. It’s been a home of discovery, brutal honesty yet a hope I have no words for.  I have to have some tests run soon. I’m nervous but trusting God. I promised I wouldn’t cry, but here I am crying. Thank you for your consistency in loving me. A person the world doesn’t validate or understand. Thank you for giving me for so many years what I couldn’t give myself. 

In thirteen years

You continue to

Give me

What I struggle

To give myself

Love

Great day

 Today is 

Going to be

A great day

The Lord

Woke me up

I lost a pound

And I’ve 

Already experienced 

Great small joys

So awesome

Yet unexpected 

Truly the best

Love yourself and your neighbor. 

Favorites

 Favorites

Banza pasta with butter and cheese

Fashion magazines

Travel daydreams

SmartSweets gummies

Flavored water and sparkling water

Your turn?

Any Halloween plans?

When do you decorate for Christmas?

Mood booster

 The rain outside

Is my 

Radio station

Today

Nature

The ultimate 

Mood booster

What are you grateful for today?

Monday

 God lead me

Don’t argue

Don’t fight

Be still

The battle

Is not

Yours anymore

Love yourself and one another

Sunday

 The chill

Has descended 

On my 

Neck of the 

Woods

Warm me up

Like the 

Most 

Delicious 

Apple cider

Thought

 Please 

Keep me

Calm

At peace

In alignment

With your will

Surrender

Is where

I’m safest

And never

Did I ever

Think such

A thing before

Friday

 Friday gratitude list. 

Having a second blog has kept my brain working while trying to fix technical issues on this one. I will still be writing on that one as well. 

A good lunch out, and finding a new coat that I needed to replace that no longer works for me. 

Good weather and being able to be outside. Vitamin D is healing for the mind, body and soul

Finding good books and magazines. I still love holding a physical book or magazine. Nothing better. 

Finding the silver lining even when then things don’t go my way.  Pivot. The word and I are in communication more lately. 

Share with me your gratitude. Or whatever you’d like. 

I love you

Regine

Unknown

 The wet

Green grass

Feeds my soul 

Like a 

Calming elixir 

The outside 

World 

Is realigning 

My inner anxieties 

Breathing in

Peace 

As I let

Unknowns 

Be just that

Unknown 

Day

 Tall stack

Of pancakes 

Berries and cream 

Adding a little 

Sweetness 

To my

Morning 

To brighten 

My day

Late night thoughts

 One of

My deepest pains

Got unearthed 

Tonight 

Healing 

Really is

Painful

That’s the 

G version 

For as far 

As I’ve come

Work is still 

Very much 

Ongoing 

Questions

 What are you reading 

What are you eating 

What are you buying 

What is bringing joy

Any prayer requests?

Influencer

 Lord

What have

We come to

We don’t talk

We don’t speak 

We don’t disagree 

For fear 

Of reprisal 

I wasn’t 

Made for this 

Following You

Is hard

But it’s 

The only 

Thing in

My life 

That makes sense

Friends have 

Called me

An influencer

And right now

That label feels 

Uncomfortable 

I’m not plugging 

Popular culture 

I just want 

To glorify You

And pray 

That humanity 

Returns 

To decency 

I’m glad 

You have me

This world 

Has me clutching 

The cross

Hoping against hope 

For a return 

To a world 

Where common sense

Needn’t be

Explained

Or justified 

Jesus

 Watering the grass

My own

My witness 

Will be

Not with 

Flowery words

But with 

How I live 

Jesus I 

Hope to

Make You 

Proud 

Friday love

 God

Thank you 

For another day 

To be loved 

By you

Grateful for 

All you are

For I falter

More and

More

I’m so glad 

You never 

Leave me 

Even when 

I think 

About leaving you 

Seek and serve

 Seek me

Find me 

Follow me 

Obedience will

Be found 

With an earnest 

Heart 

To serve 

You

 Following You

Finding solace 

No longer 

Inundated by

Worldly distraction

As a friend said:  “The Word before the world”. 

Any Substack recommendations?

Love you all 

Today

 Guide me 

In peace 

Let my fear

However irrational 

Leave me

As I 

Rest in

The power 

Of the 

Omnipotent 

Questions

 What is bringing you joy 

New friends, snail mail and a healthier sweet treat. 

What are you eating 

Cottage cheese with pineapple 

What are you reading 

A novel by Plum Sykes

Most used emoji 

💕

Favorite song 

Fire and Rain

James Taylor 

Amen

 Lord

What are 

You teaching me 

My every cell

Depends on you

As I sat

In Your pew

I realized

So much

I’m grateful 

To be

Loved so well

💕

 Thank you 

For your 

Prayers 

Your love 

And support 

It means 

More than 

You’ll ever 

Understand 

Look

 Surrender 

The most 

Freeing experience 

When coupled 

With truth 

The miracle 

Happens in real time 

No longer fighting 

Others’ opinions 

Finding hope 

In spaces

I’d never thought 

To look 

Mon Dieu

 The body 

Is at rest 

Grateful 

Doesn’t even 

Cover it

The ferocity 

And fierceness 

Of Your love 

Leaves me

Speechless 

Two

 Procedure Two done

It takes an army of medical professionals to keep me upright and pain free. It takes a team to find solutions so I can sleep. Today, I finally understood that there is not just one solution. I can’t have one without the other. I’m also acutely aware how blessed I am. 

I took for granted how well these medicines work. When they run low at the same time. This week has been an eye opener. 

It’s not only medicine. It’s stretching, exercise and other options.  It’s exhausting, but God’s doing this on purpose for a purpose. I’m learning that for God to give me what I want, I first have to accept what I need with gladness. 

Please count your blessings. 

Request

 Treatment One complete. 

Some thoughts:

Please thank God for your health. Yesterday my body painfully received its Christmas gift. I say it every time. It’s amazing what you will be thankful for in times of pain. Now, I wait as liquid gold works its magic. I will feel like crap for hopefully just a few days. I’m not patient, but for it to work properly I must rest. If that means my activity is limited to going from the bed to the couch…you get it. 

It feels like a miracle that my bodily functions are returning to normal. If TMI…I’m sorry. This is the not so pretty reality of disability. A friend told me yesterday she was grateful I gave her a reality check as to what not to take for granted. 

I’m grateful. God is forcing me to rest. Not argue. Not explain. I’m being forced to tend to my own grass. I don’t have the energy to discuss anything at this point. 

Love your neighbor. Love yourself. Be decent. 

Beautiful

 Have a 

Beautiful Day 

Be decent 

Loving 

Hopeful 

And 

Full of

Joy

Sunday

 Let me share this with you. I don’t know if you will judge me for this. This morning I woke up miserable. My body has been a little like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Semi normal one day, the next I wonder what just happened. All this to say sleep is not good right now. I didn’t know if I’d make it to church. I almost didn’t attend. I got in the shower, and just hoped against hope. 

I got to church. Did I worship with gladness? Did I nod off during preaching? You bet. I woke up, and just continued to let God use me. 

This week holds many appointments. Many treatments. Will they be painful. Yes. Will my body not like me for a bit. Yes. Will I not like my body. Yes without doubt. 

I may make short posts. I don’t know if I will have energy to respond. Just know I love you all. 

God Bless,

Regine 

Be decent human beings. Love one another 

Sunday

 God

Let me praise 

You in the 

Pain 

Pain brings 

A purpose 

Even if

It’s not

One I want 

Snooze

 Rest

The gift 

That keeps giving 

Love you all

Friday

 What is bringing you joy

What are you cooking?

What are you doing?

Any new happenings in your life?

Any prayer requests?

Update

 Thank you for your prayers. Your prayers allowed me to experience something precious. Sleep. My body feels a thousand times better. It’s not where I’d like it to be, but I’m grateful. I don’t understand much, but your kindness that you so richly and faithfully lavish on me leaves me tearing up. To be loved, not for what I can give you, but just because I’m me. It’s one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever been given. 

I will still rest because I need it. My body is telling me that it’s no longer negotiable. I’m grateful is all. Being so tired yet not being able to get the sleep you need is not fun. Sleep:  A blessing. Life:  A blessing and gift. Jesus:  Thank you for your grace and mercy. 

Please take care of yourselves. Love one another.  Be decent human beings. 

I love you all. 

May joy be yours. 

Thank you

Thank you 

For this day 

To love 

And be loved 

Rest

 Very tired today. 

Rest is on the menu today. 

Hugs

Enjoying some downtime. 

Any book suggestions?

Monday

 Letting Him handle my overactive and overwhelmed mind today. 

Loving popcorn 

Unexpected gifts 

Unexplained joy

Pilates

My body is vacillating between utter pain and bearable discomfort. Someone one said disabled have a painful tolerance that seems not human. I’m having to agree these days. If I don’t reply to all of you I’m sorry. I’ve either become one with a yoga mat, massage gun or heating pad. 

The dam burst

 In Church today, I usually am emotional. I can’t pinpoint the exact reason, I almost made it through the entire service, alas during a particular song I let out the most unladylike sobs. It was during that after I had realized something so profound. He had revealed an answer to me after almost thirteen years. Almost the length of my blogging journey. Giving you a preview here before I continue on The Rue. 

It goes in the deepest parts of a faith journey. Most of which I’m not proud to admit. I just want you to see Him through me. I let the world tell me I just had to manifest what I wanted like some famous folks. Manifesting in total opposition to Christ following for me. If it works for the world, I’m happy for you. God had to tell me, manifesting is using your strength to make a favorable outcome for yourself. That takes ME out of the equation, and I won’t have you chasing idols to make you happy, but not fulfilled. 

Head to rkrsrue.blogspot.com for more. 

Sunday

 Jesus 

Lord

Help us be

Who you’ve 

Called us

To be

Decent 

Human beings 

Different

Yet so 

Alike

Yours

 Nobody knows 

My name 

But as 

Long as

Yours is

It’s the goal 

Not a celebrity 

To love

Hate

Or worship

Rather just 

A human being 

Wrestling 

With my 

Own sin

To contemplate 

Yours

Joy

 Finding the joy 

Books

New foods 

Clothing that fits 

Dreams

Hope in unexpected places 

Denied entry

 Jesus 

Worthy 

Of it all

My physical body 

May give me 

1000 problems 

The ability to

Think not

Among them 

I can fret

Or I can

Let Your power 

Reign

Teach me

To trust 

And leave 

My doubts 

At the door

And deny

Its entry

Love

 Love one another 

As He has

Loved you

Be the blessing 

Humanity has

Been seeking 

Ways

 I’m learning 

Your ways 

Are not mine 

You want 

All of me

Not just 

Spare parts 

And empty 

Promises

You are 

Convicting me

With such

Accurate precision 

It’s alarming 

But not 

Surprising

Questions

 What is making you smile?

What are you reading?

What are you buying?

What are you thinking?

What is on your heart?

Yes

 You provide 

I just need 

Trust

And an

Obedience 

I can’t fathom 

But readily 

Accept

Pray

 God

My prayer 

Is that 

I pray 

Before 

I begin 

To despair 

The spirit 

Of Power 

And Presence

Is on

The inside 

Of me

New

 May this 

Day be

Wonderfully ordinary 

Ordinary is

The new

Extraordinary 

The Rue

 Just shared my heart on The Rue. rkrsrue.blogspot.com

I hope your Saturday is one of hope, peace and love. 

In the Presence

 In the Presence 

I rest 

In the Presence 

I rest

In the Presence 

I rest

Because my body 

Demands it 

And I require it

Beautiful children 

Be still

And know 

Is the command 

For the day 

Happy smiles

 Happies

A delicious Shrimp Caesar

Trying on pretty fall looks 

Finding cute stickers

Finding new books I want to read 

Sipping ice cold water on a hot day 

Happy mail from fellow bloggers. 

It never ceases to amaze me how much your kindness means to me 

Thoughts

 Out of

The valley

Into the 

Unclear Unknown 

Where my

Only refuge 

Is the

Almighty’s Arms

Apparently what 

I consider 

Simple requests 

Of the Father

And Son

Must not

Be 

Because 

My dreams 

Really have 

But my

Mindset 

May need

To shift

For it

Is exhausting 

Circling 

The wagons

The Deity

 Leaning into You

You’ve given us

A beautiful world 

And yet

We abuse 

The privilege 

And honor

Because we don’t 

Love or appreciate 

Our blessings 

Much less

Count them 

God redirect me

So I do

Miss the message 

As my sin

Tells me

You’re taking 

Too long 

Fulfilling Your Promises 

Or are those

My wishes

Speaking 

Rather than 

Your wisdom

News

 Service has been restored. Thank you for your prayers. I appreciate you all. The love and care for me is something I can’t wrap my head around, but am grateful, nonetheless. 

A question I’ve been receiving is this. I now have two blogs. This one and the new one The Rue. Its website is rkrsrue.blogspot.com. 

The original is for more fun things I like to discuss. The Rue goes deeper. It’s the hard stuff. It’s the nuts and bolts. So if you want you can visit both or just one. I realize some of us read blogs to find the joy in mindless entertainment. No judgment. I needed to go deeper. 

Have a beautiful Labor Day. 

Bullseye

 Quick update. 

No service still. Missed church to wait on someone to show up. My patience is fried. I would name this company, but I want my service restored. Pray for me. And to think I didn’t want to fight or do battle anymore. What sweet yet delusional thinking. 

I could write a book on corporate dysfunction. Lord, hold my tongue. I’ve already laced enough expletives to need time in confession. 

I’m tired. I heard it said:  ‘All frustration is borne out of unmet expectation’. Bullseye. 

Quick note.

 I turned on cellular for a moment to post. I’ve been without internet for a few days. Don’t know how much longer it will be. This experience explains why we don’t like corporations. People don’t take pride in their work.  Don’t even ask me how they treat the disabled. Gave them the short version. They don’t care. They don’t care about rural America. On a brighter note, you’re all very loved. 

Have a beautiful day. 

Regine 

Quietly

 Meditate

Be silent 

Revel

In a stable

Peace 

Only He provides 

Happy

 Happies

Learning I don’t have to argue with people. I don’t need to prove a point. I’ve got a bigger calling than crave a high being right. 

I’m running on fumes right now. My body is right now a mixture of strength training and stretching to stay loose. 

I’m keeping myself grounded on the Word. The minute I depart I start feeling insecure. 

I’m enjoying stopping by my favorite boutique where the owner and I have spirited chats while trying on new pieces. I get to be a model. 😂

I’m enjoying the simple pleasures. A new flavor at the coffee shop. Reading the newest magazine on the newsstand. Buying the newest pen. I’m amassing a collection. 

The US Open tournament. Wish I were there. In the meantime, Vamos Carlitos. 

Until it didn’t

 The Rock 

The Savior

Of a soul 

In need

Of 24/7 surveillance 

To rid my

Heart and mind 

Of cynicism 

In a world 

That operates 

In a shade

Of grey

Lacking nuance

Logic

Reason

The ability 

To think critically 

Or have faith 

In something 

That can’t 

Be explained 

Lord

Show up

Show up

Because I 

Know You

Are real

But the

World

Now deifies

People

Places

And Things

The only 

Time 

You’re desired

Is when

Bottoms

Are falling

And our

Hearts shatter

At the cruel 

World

We thought 

Would 

Save us

Until it didn’t 

Day

 With each day I’m reminded of the immense privilege I’ve been given. God provides all for our good. I’ve had to learn continually learn that patience isn’t punishment. Waiting is not an inconvenience. I’m having to understand the profound blessing on my life, in my life to wait this long. 

I’ve had to meditate on Scripture. I’ve had to let His Word be the only Guide I follow. I’m having to relish being fully reliant on God. Honestly, I’ve hated it. Now I’m having to learn what I can’t stand. 

Oh how the mighty have fallen. These are painful lessons shared so you don’t have to repeat my mistakes. Don’t learn the same lessons. 

Monday praise

 Monday 

You’re here

Again 

I choose 

Not to fear

But praise

As God

Is too

Good 

To succumb 

To a doubt

That doesn’t 

Need an 

Entertained audience 

Purpose

 At the end of church we had baptisms. As I watched two young people profess their faith, I remembered my baptism day. It made me almost bawl like a baby. You’re always told it’s the best decision you will ever make. I didn’t always agree, but now years after profession, do I understand and agree.

 After a recent bout with depression and faithlessness, I’ve come to see  how Christ has carried me. I didn’t feel His Presence. It was through a physical pain and profound mental anguish that it stuck. I needed that pain to be taught His Power. The test provides the platform for His Power to shine as you take your faith into fierce fire. 

Maybe soon I will have the peace to share how my world got rearranged so God would be glorified. Out of me, into we. Think it can be done alone?  It can’t. Unless you want to learn how devastatingly brutal His lessons can be for His children. 

I still don’t like the torment I went through. It had and still has a profound effect on me. It had a purpose. I had to be shown Who is IN CHARGE. The answer is it’s not me. What a shocker! Right?!

Chicken nuggets

 Trusting You

Should not

Be difficult 

But my

Humanity 

Can make 

Simple instructions 

Feel like 

A child 

Only wanting

To eat

Chicken nuggets 

Every day 

Day

 Each day

A choice 

To choose 

A hope

Love 

And a

Peace 

That passes 

All understanding 

Happy

 I was asked in the comments what is making me happy. 

Reading the Bible slowly. No Bible in a year. If you can great. It was making me anxious, and I gave up. Communion with God should not be anxiety producing. 

Savoring food. I used to eat for just fuel. I never enjoyed it except on vacation. Food is an experience. 

Finding the good in people. I spent an hour in CVS yesterday having the pharmacist find a gummy vitamin without certain allergens among other helpful employees. 

Getting my steps in. Movement helps me physically, but the benefits to my mental health is awesome. 

Finding my inner child. Who knew buying more pens and classic legos could bring a smile. Thirty dollars well spent. I don’t know if a Chanel purse could do that right now. 

Your prayers and love for me lift me so high. Thank you for honoring me with your time and support. I will never be able to repay the blessing it is to be loved by you. 

Love yourself and one another. 

Really revealing

 Right now, my body is a chameleon. Feels great one day. Meh the next. Pain the next. I’m not complaining, I’m just mentally taking each day as it comes. My words make not pretty like Swan Lake. I’m in battle mode. Fight when I must. Rest when I can. Goods not ridding me of the mountains, but fortifying my ramparts. I’m just asking for prayers. It may become a daily occurrence I heard a pastor say I needed to surrender the outcome, the process and the timing. This one statement has shaken me in the best but hardest way. I have always asked why. I may have an answer, I may not, but with each day the spark grows with increasing intensity. 

Jesus 

Be near

As the

Flames

Surround me

Surrender into

The only 

Equipped 

To handle 

My needs

Questions

 What is making you smile?

Any last minute vacations?

What are you making?

Tell me anything random about you?

Have a blessed day. 

Mantra

 Breathe

Release

Surrender 

I may have 

To do this 

Repeatedly 

Today 

Sunday

 May your 

Day be

Full of rest

And quiet

Reflection 

Global girl

 Savoring quiet

In a good book

That has

Me globetrotting

In my mind 

Friday

 Friday faves

College Football 

New workout clothes 

Good friends 

Tuna fish salad 

Yours?

Mission

 Sometimes joy

Is detachment 

From a culture 

That idolizes 

Some human beings 

To the detriment of

Of others 

Focusing 

On those 

Whose mission 

It is

To glorify You 

Is leading me

To be a 

Person of

Passionate purpose 

Not merely 

Pervasive popularity 

Secret

 Lessons from today 

Learning surrender 

Happens when

Expectation 

Isn’t present 

Maybe 

In every moment 

We’re being 

Taught 

That the meaning 

Of life 

Isn’t something 

To be sought 

But uncovered 

In secret spaces

Brought to life 

In beautiful 

Miracles 

Learning

 Today my 

Joy is 

Not a T. Swift

Album

It’s the peace

In knowing 

That my

Eccentricity 

Is valued

And acceptable 

To the 

Lord of

Heaven 

And earth 

Free from condemnation

 Grateful for

A peace

I’ve not

Felt in

Months

Maybe 

Not chasing 

Invisible clocks

An an 

Imperfect expectation 

Is freeing

The soul

From outside 

Forces

Joy

 Bringing me joy

Pens

Magazines 

Peanut butter pretzels 

My kindle

Laughter of my niece and nephew 

Pursue

 Grace finds

Me in

The most 

Unexpected ways

And Lord

Seeking 

Your loving 

Face

Is now

The joy 

I’m to

Prayerfully 

Pursue

NC

 Mountain air 

Clear skies 

North Carolina 

Is showing 

How beautiful 

The planet 

Really is

Near

 Lord

I don’t like 

This season 

For the fear

And pain 

Are right 

In my line 

Of sight

The rear view mirror 

Is gone

Is it

Time to

Face the elephant 

I’ve despised 

Since we

Met two

Decades ago

Why are 

The things

Meant to set

You free 

Are so 

Darn odious. 

Lord

I wake up 

Cranky

Like a baby

Who has

Been 

Denied

A bottle

And I 

Go to bed

Unsettled

And my

Only desire 

Is that 

You draw near

 As I battle 

A tumult 

You saw 

Coming 

Old ways

 Finding joy

In an old country tune

That takes 

My soul

Back to beach days

Lathered

In a sunscreen 

That smells

Like the 

Tastiest pina colada

Loneliness

 Following God 

Can be 

The most lonely 

Place 

I’ll ever 

Be

I know 

That if 

Loneliness

Begets 

Holy grace 

I’m right 

Where

I’m needed

Setting the table

 Oh Jesus 

My circumstances 

Were never 

For my

Comfort 

Your glory 

Comes

My need 

To be coddled 

I’m not 

To chase

An idol

That only 

Brings 

A sorrow

You carried 

Because 

My words

Were read

But that’s 

Where it stopped 

The only way 

To get you

To worship 

Me and not 

Your selfish greed 

Was to 

Wreck your dreams 

To give 

You 

Better plans

Mine

42

 It’s my birthday today. And as I’m blessed and privileged to blow out forty-two candles, I realized a few things. 

I didn’t remember how old I was turning. 

As I get older, I realize that when asked what I want I can see that God can be the only deliverer of the few things I truly desire. 

If you want a list:  snail mail. Unexpected surprises. Candles and stickers. 

I’ve only started to find joy, once my inner child was allowed to be. 

Despite the difficulties, the ability to dream wildly is returning. As is my creativity. That is so important for me. 

Thank you for giving me the best gift ever. I think it gets redundant, but you give me your love, support, acceptance and reassurance of my own worth. You celebrate my humanity. My eccentricity. My being. You give me your time. The most valuable commodity to speak life into a person. Searching. Seeking. Hopefully making the world a better place than I found it. I love you. 

Love yourselves and one another. 

Here’s to another 42. 

Regine

The spigot

 In the peace

Of turning

Of the spigot

Of the mind 

My soul

Opens to

New possibilities 

Grace

 God

Help me

To be blissfully immune 

To problems 

That my name

Isn’t on

And where

I thought 

It was

Is no

Longer 

To be found 

Pray

 Prayer today 

Focus on you

In the present 

So I can

Enjoy 

The Presence 

That always invites 

His beloveds

Release

 Sweat it out 

All the frustration 

The pain 

Rejection

And disappointment 

Get released 

At the feet

Of the Father 

Worship

 My soul 

Doesn’t need 

A performance 

It needs

Silence

No thought 

No thanks

Just a rest

With no distractions 

Or disruptions

Accepting that

I will never 

Be normal 

Hurts in

A way 

That can’t 

Be explained 

Enclosed in

Those church walls

I took myself 

Back to Assisi 

Where my being 

Felt a special 

Spiritual peace

As if 

The saints 

Reminded me

In the 

Small Southern Church 

How to seek

Simple pleasures 

At the foot

Of a cross

That became 

A talking point 

Not true 

Worship

Peacefully protected

 I’m realizing 

That the 

Father is

The only 

Place I can 

Fully be Present 

At Peace 

And protected

From a world 

I no longer 

Recognize 

Pray 

That joy returns 

To a battered soul

And broken body 

Love yourself 

So you 

Can love others 

Thank you

 When I question 

For what 

Do I 

Have to

Be grateful 

For

The answer is

In a harsh reality 

That has 

Me proving 

My worth 

You all arrive 

To love

Me as 

I am

Without conditions 

It’s the gift

That speaks volumes 

Without a word

Being uttered 

gratitude

 My gratitude for today

Fresh food

Unexpected gifts

New pens

My dogs

God

Any prayer requests or praises?  I miss doing these. Hugs. xx. 

Love yourself and one another

loving grace

 God

Clinging to you

Like a life jacket 

In treacherous waves 

And stormy gales

Do I expect

To walk

On water

No 

But if 

You could still

Those terrorizing

Natural scenes

I’d be

Ever grateful

wednesday wisdom

 In His desire that I slow down, I’m understanding the joy of simplicity. Whether its running barefoot in the grass as I smell the scent of the clothes on the clothesline. It’s looking for lurking critters in the cantaloupes. It’s the sweat that accumulates as I pound the pedals. I’m allowing my senses to work in tandem as I give my overworked brain a rest. 

The answer is Him, but more simply it is to take in my surroundings right now, what I want them to look like. The point is I’m no multitasker. I can’t chew gum and walk most days in equal measure. I read somewhere where the magic of childhood is not being a child, but in the ability to be present. Reading that set my soul ablaze. I got it. Now to hope it stays there. 

Knowing me, five minutes later, I’ll forget and look for something to worry about for the rest of the day. It’s not being hard on myself. It’s the truth. The frequency with which it occurs is not something I share with pride. A lot of us get honest and real when our behinds are behind the eight ball. God has me very uncomfortable right now. If I thought the waiting season was rough, I met this one, and I’m squirming. 

From the valley to this:  the valley almost looks better. There is nowhere to go but up. This here is:  this one has no name. Maybe it’s holding.   I’m in waters I can’t sense. So holding on is where it is. Or where I am locked. I’m into a different kind of silent stillness right now. Where the words of humans can’t console, advise or sympathize. Empathy is a definite. 

God

May I

Be uncomfortable 

If it be

Your will

For me

As it forces

Me not

To flee

Slow

 After a disappointment that rocked me, and had me questioning everything, I now see that I know nothing. Nothing. And maybe that’s the point. God has rerouted me. So wholly. I’m just me. Just living life. Seeking stillness. Thinking my mind and body had to be busy to a ferocity I couldn’t maintain led me to a place I hadn’t seen in a while. 

Rest equals a healthier body, but a stable mentality, and that is without price. The snail and turtles do just fine in the world. The disappointment that crushed my spirit is the catalyst for rebirth and refinement. That’s all I can ask for right at this moment. 

The story took a detour, but now is plotting a course I don’t know where it leads. This is not comfortable, but surrender means I don’t have to know where I’m to follow. 

cool presence

 Guide my heart

And let me

Be silent

In stillness

As I relinquish 

A battle

Not mine

To fight

love

 God 

The center

Of my world

From it

All things flow

In a majesty

I don’t understand

But welcome wholeheartedly 

Joy

 What is bringing you joy 

Eat

 Finding 

Daily joys

Is eating 

The cake 

Without 

The calories 

Unless 

The cake

Makes me

A happy 

Little camper 

goodness

 Seeking the good

Be it sunshine

A good treat

Or an

Unexpected letter

In the mail

From a 

Good friend 

Seeking the goodness

The grace

He provides

harmony

 Finding joy

In a stillness

I again

Need

For my 

Heart and soul

To unite

In harmony

moments

 Taking it

Moment by moment

And let 

The wind

Strengthen my sails

As I take

In a lungful

Of crisp, clean air

Emerging

 After a weekend of rest and time with the Source, I’ve had some realizations. 

The moment I untether from God is the moment my unhappiness begins. 

I saw something that has accurately described my mood recently. ‘My faith was in the outcome, not in Him’ When that happened, I shattered. I still can’t talk about the disappointment, but I’m starting to forgive. I had to be reminded that people may disappoint, but what happens still happens with God’s approval. I’ve wanted this dream so long, I was willing to sacrifice almost anything. God said no. Not no necessarily to the dream, but my request. Which if I’m honest wasn’t a request. It was a demand.  God doesn’t work well. 

I let the world determine my worth. 

I struggle with this. With this dream, I was sprinting to the end zone. My life is a marathon. I do nothing fast. And I mean nothing worthwhile. My doctors have had to be almost like therapists and psychiatrists. As blessed as I am, my body wasn’t meant to run. I’m the turtle. I have to remember the turtle wins. The caveat is they wait. I’m tired of waiting. God mandated I rest. It felt like my body got two full days of rest. When my body rested, my soul did too. 

I had to open up the Bible again, not use the app. 

I can’t explain the difference this has made for my soul. Highly recommend. 

Finally, I had to remember that the Omnipotent One doesn’t want me to settle even when dreaming. I was willing to sacrifice something I couldn’t afford to make it happen. I thought, I’ve got to make it happen. I have to do nothing for Him to make the outlandish dreams of imperfect children possible. I’m returning to myself slowly. I have to forgive others, but first I have to forgive myself. I have to give grace to me before I can give it away. 

Emerging from exile

Regine

joys

 Joys today

Exercise

A new TV show

Word searches

Magazines

Good rest

hoping

 Let me tell you, I’m mentally fatigued, spent, whatever word you want to use. I will keep writing because I need to for my own health. I’m just not going to sugarcoat life. Their is plenty of things to be grateful for, and I will think on those things, I also have to grieve the disappointments. I also know that He is the only Healer for what ails me. 

All this to say is that I don’t know what this place will look like going forward. And for the first time that’s okay. 

Love yourself and one another

control

 I need to 

Let go

Of control

And believe

That I’m 

Not too old

To dream

It’s okay 

To dream big

And hope

Even as 

Man laughs

Please plea

 Lord

Be the instrument 

To peace 

And a joy 

That doesn’t 

Bow to

Circumstance

love

 If I’ve been shown anything this week is that stepping away from connectedness with others, has brought me to charge inward. I’ve enjoyed summer popsicles, reading books over and over again, and seeking childlike joy as if I’d won the lottery. As I’m being retaught daily, Jesus directs. I follow. I no longer have answers. I’m not to seek them. Seeking them is detrimental to my health. 

To question:  Desired. To answer: Insanity

Up

 Have no words 

But a one

Heartbroken 

I’ve learned 

Not to

Ask why 

Even as

The tears

Have no

Place to

Go

But up

The God Way

 Sometimes God you use my pain to teach me. It seems only in my pain am I solely focused on You. The news has left me sick, but that is not where you want my attention. You know the mental and physical anguish I’ve held. You want me to release it. It is the anchor on my neck that paralyzes. I need to trust that whatever man may do, you supersede. Man fails while Your love does not. 

I have no more words. You don’t need them. You desire my heart. And my obedience. Surrender, why is it so hard. Stop doing things the American way. Do it The God Way. 

Love yourself and one another. 

Regine

little joys

 Little joys

Cantaloupe from the garden

Unexpected gifts

Good sleep

Fresh salads

Yoga

Your turn?

the robe

 Lord, 

My soul

Is a broken

Bunch of pieces

I no longer

Know what

To believe

You are the 

Only being

That doesn’t 

Forsake

Even as

I question

As I doubt

As I rage

At a world

I no longer

Understand

Remind me

Of Who

You are

As I continue

To cling to

The robe

That changes lives

WB

 Stars and stripes 

Red 

White 

And blue

Lord

Be with her

As you are

With me

Love

 What is

My job title

Is it

Blogger

Writer

Or author 

What is

My job title 

Because 

Money talks

Yet the

World

Doesn’t listen 

What is 

My job title 

Child of God

Flawed human 

Living life 

In need of 

Heavenly compassion 

And an

Empathy 

Rarely exercised

Change my heart 

As you work

And show

That wisdom 

Still reigns

Waves

 Finding self

Is an 

Emotional rollercoaster

I must ride

To rid myself of

Of the things 

That no

Longer serve

Me

Trust

 My only 

Job today 

Is to not 

Worry about 

A future 

Full of

Fear and

Indecision

The only 

Answer I 

Have now

Is the

Assurance 

Of Your

Love 

Dream

 Sweet dreams 

My friends 

May He

Give you

Perfect Peace 

Time

 Learning 

That God’s will 

Is not mine

In real time 

Heart

 Lord,

Give me

All of you

It’s the only

Way to survive

And thrive

My problem

Isn’t others

It’s my expectation

No one

Will ever

Meet them

My eyes

Meet Yours

In surrender

You’ve broken me

The light

I’m seeking

It’s in me

I will not 

Cede it

To the 

Desires of man

You’ve waited

For the moment

I would come

To the end

Of myself

I’m giving

You what

I thought 

I needed

For happiness

Control

I’ve been

So wrong

To think

I could 

Harness your strength

To fulfill

The desires

Of my heart

right now

 Enjoying a new word search

Making egg salad

Buying groceries

Dreaming of far away lands

Reading Vogue

I’m starting to return to my normal. It’s taken a week. I’m just glad to see progress. Love yourself and one another

ROI

 You search 

The depths 

Find mine 

And ask 

For a trust

That transcends reality 

Into otherworldly peace 

As I give

My timeline 

In exchange 

For Yours

One I don’t know 

But can cash

And get 

The best 

Return on

Investment 

sardinian swim

 The heat 

Is sizzling

As an 

Ice bath

Seems so good

Almost as much

A Sardinian swim

Air conditioning

The blessing 

That keeps giving

Forgiveness

 Lord

You know

Forgiveness

Is a must 

For me

Not everyone

Will understand 

My hurt

But being

Unchained 

From a 

Bondage

I can’t afford

Is so important

sunday

 Thank you for your love as I battle my body, my own expectations and disappointments. I’m just need you Lord. I don’t know your plans, but I trust You. 

Pray for me please. 

Love you all

tears

 Had a friend

Come and 

Wipe my tears

And hug me

So tight

As she 

Implored

Me not

To hide 

The pain

But let 

It sit

So I 

Could feel

Then forgive

cinq

 It is on treatment day, that I get a dose of reality. And each time I just have to thank God. I will never be normal. I will probably need some sort of treatment for the rest of my life, but with each step I take, I understand the privilege it is to be me. I will need to rest. Get more sleep than I’d like, but the choices I make with diet and exercise are help prolong the treatment’s longevity and elasticity. 

I’m grateful for a pain free sleep 

Loosening muscles

All of you

Unexpected snail mail

Finding beauty in everything

Love yourself and one another

rest

 Got treatment. Rest is on the menu. Hopefully some snail mail, magazines and books will keep me company. 

Love you all

Beauty

 My muscles 

Popping like Orville

Cracking like

Rice Krispies

In milk

Thank you

For a threshold 

For pain 

And discomfort 

I’ve been trained 

Fortified 

By fiery resolve 

To find 

Beauty

Where darkness 

Seeks purpose 

list

 On my list

Adding to my list of books to read

Window shopping

Making new salads

Buying local

Finding new hobbies

Making healthier iced coffee 

Your turn?

Presence

 Good morning 

How will

I greet you

The day

Lord

Shower me

With peace

Protection

And holy

Beautiful love

And presence 

Hug

 Hug me tight

My whole being

Needs realigning

And an ounce

Of hope

Combined with gratitude. 

correction

 The child

Of Royalty

The One 

Of Eternity

Make me

Into 

The daughter

Who doesn’t 

Spurn correction

Or discipline 

Choosing

To seek

Holiness

And Righteousness 

Above all

Let me

Love you

As you 

Love me

the Good stuff

 Thank you for your commentary on my last post. I appreciate the support. 

I’m loving reading all the summer new releases. Thanks to the Libby app. 

I just ordered a new cookbook. I’m excited to get it in the mail. 

I am really loving my snail mail. It’s brightening my spirit. 

I’m reliving my travel memories from years past. They’re bringing me immense joy. 

Your turn?

blessings in the pain

 As I deal with physical discomfort, I realize how blessed I am. To have a functioning mind is one of the biggest blessings. To be able to articulate my desire, my fears and anything else is so important for me. For all my complaints, I cry tears of joy. I cry tears of relief. I can put a voice to my pain.  I never understood that privilege. And if leaves me so grateful. I saw something that said:  ‘Healing is when you use your pain to help others.‘ I always knew it to be true, but I didn’t want to share the depths of my pain. That’s when sharing my pain would become the only way for me to heal. There are still parts of the pain I don’t know if I will ever be comfortable sharing. 

The power of modern medicine is sometimes I forget I have a disability, until I need help with a seemingly mundane task. It’s the mundane tasks of life in which I need help. So much help. My pride takes a hit every time I need help. Maybe those are the hits I need to take. I wonder if He didn’t make me normal to know that my life is dependent on the hand of God in everything I do. God makes it happen for me everyday. I don’t know if it’s to humble me, make me grateful or keep me in step with His will. 

If you have a functioning mind, please be very glad. 

Love yourself and one another

Pain

 Pain can bring

About a truth

Mere man

Has no 

Choice 

But to accept 

Right now 

My reality 

Is forcing

Me to

Be kind 

To the

One

To whom

It’s been 

Not ever 

Given 

Hope

 Squeezing 

The goodness 

From life 

For in perspective 

Comes gratitude 

blues and liquid courage

 Lord,

The mental fatigue is about as bad as the physical.  Right now, my imagination and daydreams need to run rampant in spite of my reality. I thought it was said once you accepted your lot, joy was a given. Let me tell you, it’s not. Joy, I have to choose it everyday. Even if it’s as simple as waking up and eating oatmeal and bananas. Breaking gratitude down to the roots, so I don’t go down the why me route. 

Maybe it is singing off key

Maybe it is in a cup of coffee

Maybe it is the quiet

I don’t want to relish

It’s painful

To sit with 

One’s thoughts

It’s hard

To let people

Be people

When you sit back

And wonder

Where humanity

And sanity

Return from

The brink

Of an

Indifference

That is more 

Lukewarm

Than a cold soup

Not properly reheated 

My soul

Feel like 

A blues standard

In need of liquid courage

Even if

My soul 

Doesn’t need

To be further depressed 

And as I remain

Upright and alert

I realize that

A world in despair

Isn’t where I’m 

To find comfort

Drunk on 

Your Word

Is the only

Place that 

Needs to 

Be found

Good things

 Loving foreign fashion magazines 

Built protein bars

Looking at couture 

Dreaming of Sconset

Loving my sunflowers 

Resting

 Resting. Pain is kicking my butt. 

Need reading comprehension’s please. Or just something to pep me up. Thank you 

Cinq

 I’ve been cranky lately. I have the ability to feel the pain, but work through it is progress. 

Life isn’t glamorous. No European sojourns. No shopping sprees. 

That being said is I’m grateful for the ability to move at all. I’m grateful for healthy food. 

I love a good book. An unexpected gift. A prayer said for me. 

I love you all. 

Love yourself and one another

thoughts on learning

 I’m learning 

To simply breathe

I never thought 

I’d have 

To be taught

But again

Nothing too simple

Doesn’t mean

It doesn’t need

To be learned

Or relearned

Birthday

 It’s someone special’s birthday today. Can we load this post with birthday wishes for my mom. 

Happy Birthday mom. I love you. 

self control

 Lord, 

Just guide me

As an attempt 

Is self control 

Is made

Who knew

It would 

Be so hard

Blessing

 This morning 

I grumbled 

About doing 

Farm chores 

Yet the more

I did them

My muscles 

Started to loosen

And my heart

Began to soften

Because even

As I felt discomfort 

I began to 

Feel gratitude 

That I 

Could still

Complete them

After a shower

Lunch

And sitting 

On a comfy couch 

My soul

Is rejoicing 

That my sour mood

Didn’t deter

The blessing

I didn’t know 

I needed

Words

 To be able

To sit 

In stillness

On this 

Beautiful day

Is a 

Gift

As I 

Reflect

On 

His words

Happy

What is making you happy 

The French Open

Daydreaming about travel 

Fruit

Ice cubes 

Magazines 

Your turn?

alive

 A delicious morning

Dancing in wildflowers

In a Zimmerman dress

Bare feet

And a 

Sublime sense

Of revelry

In the

Ordinary pleasure

Of being grounded

To the Earth

By the One

Who made

It all possible

Simplicity reigns

Because

This brain

Never learned

To multitask

Love yourself

And another

For in unification 

We as humanity

Come alive

Baiting a hook

 The day

Blue collar

Met

Blue blooded

Blonde bombshell

John Deere

And Carhartt overalls

Met the ringlet curls

Of the girl

Who never met

A shoe 

She didn’t love

A diamond 

Less than 

Five carats

And a palate

Of caviar

And oysters

Dressed in Cucinelli

And Veneta

But it 

Took a backwater boy

From Carolina 

To capture 

A heart

That Brooks Brothers

Clad golfers

Couldn’t handle

Now 

She baiting 

A hook

But can’t let

Go

Of her

Love of Cartier

His love

 There is

Nothing redeeming 

About me

But how

I love 

Others 

As you’ve 

Loved me

Until I understood Jesus’s compassion for me, I couldn’t give that compassion to others. I’m just a poor sinner in need of a Holy God. My aim is not tell you a Christian. I want the world to see Christ in me that the question isn’t asked. 

Love yourself and one another. 

Glory

 What God has taught me

I didn’t send Cerebral Palsy to hurt you, but to glorify Myself. 

In light of this even with sore muscles, and tear stained eyes, I rejoice. I realize He never ceases to provide. My bank account states poverty, but my soul is rich. I’m learning true contentment. I’m left speechless because even in my lowly state I’m loved. The world looks at my value as not much, but You Lord, declare my worth without a price. 

Let Him love you. 

Love yourself and one another

Rememberance

 In remembrance

Appreciation

And gratitude 

Thank you 

For the

Ultimate Sacrifice 

Knowledge

 On this day

I rest

In the knowledge 

That

I am not 

To know 

The way

But follow 

It anyway 

Love yourself and one another 

vendredi amor

 Lord,

I’m grateful for 

Your love

Protection

Even when

I’m scared

Angry 

Or fear

Missing out 

On the good things

In this life

Friday five

A garden grown salad

My favorite tech accessories to track my health 

Good books

Good weather

Perspective 

Your turn?

Love yourself and one another

comprehend

 Savoring cooler temperatures 

And cool breezes

Are comforting 

My soul

In only

A way

He can

In this minute

Awareness hits

That control

The one

I’ve sought 

Is no longer

Available

For minds

To comprehend

coconut juice

 Dreaming of 

White sands

Blue waters

Red bikinis 

And a plate

Of fresh fruit

And coconut juice

Questions

 What are you eating?

What are you making?

What are you buying?

What are you reading?

Any summer trips planned?

linen n lace

 A little linen

A little lace

On a tea length

Dress with 

A ballet flat

Of red suede

Is making

This rainy day

Full of whimsy

And hope

Sunday

 Sunday thoughts

Grateful for you all

Loving citrus

Loving comfy clothes

Love being barefoot

Good books are good for the soul

Your turn?

reality

 Yesterday, at the doctor’s office, I got a reality check. The fact is no matter how healthy I get, I will always have Cerebral Palsy so I need to continue to be mindful. I need to eat even better, drink more water and double my protein intake. I was reminded that I have limits. It’s not a bad thing. It’s just a reality. Reality doesn’t change even when change is initiated. 

I have to be smarter. Rest when needed. My body only has so many hours that it functions optimally. At 41, I need to take naps during the day. I will continue on the journey of health because I will benefit. I just can’t continue pushing my body to its breaking point. The reality of my life is that to outwardly look like a functioning human being, it takes a village to keep me upright. 

I’d rather be exceptional for at three hours than miserable for a whole day. I’ve been given tools to do this. God knew what I’d need, and he didn’t scrutinize me with as much contempt as I do myself. 

I’m having to learn to give kindness and acceptance of self. Yesterday, I got a reality check. One I didn’t want, but desperately needed. 

Love yourself and one another. 

calming breaths

 Let my being

Be light

Filled with light

Not fraught

With undue

Worries

That are 

So unfounded

It’s so ridiculous 

If it weren’t 

So sad

That fear

Has overtaken

My soul

Calm me

As I focus

On each breath

As my heart rate

Decreases

Remember

 I’ve been all about silence. On the outside, I’m silent. On the inside has been a turmoil I don’t recommend. I’ve had to get back to the source. The Source of my soul. I have had to get back to living in the moment. There is nothing about life I can control but my reaction to it. I’m having to put down my will, my wants for what God’s wanting to show me. 

I’m having to remember I don’t have to figure out life. I’m having to remember He is good even if I know it, but can’t see it. I’m having to step back to step forward. I’m having to lay it down. Again and again. And I’m being reminded what I want is not always what I need. He’s saving me from me. 

He gives me what I want when He’s ready not me. 

Love yourself and one another

debate

 The sun 

And clouds

Are debating

Who will

Win today

Will it

Rain again

Or will

The sun

Show his

Face

And dry

The mucky ground

Rain or shine

I smile

For whatever 

I’m given

Grateful

I will

Be

quiet

 Appreciate

The quiet moments

They’re precious

Scarce

And oh

So worth it

Love yourself and one another 

mother’s day

May my life

Be a mirror 

Of your goodness

Thank you

For giving me

A mother

Who would 

Nurture my being

Where I 

Would lack 

Nothing

But gain everything

When I accepted

Discipline

Friday five

Thrifting. I love looking for unique books or jewelry. 

Dr. Bronner’s lavender soap

Trail mix

Ice water. The colder the better

Word searches and Wordle

Your turn?

Love

 As I surrender

Do your work

Quietly

Or 

With noise

To get 

My being

To 

Leave

Me

In peace

abundance

 Finding that I’m having to grant forgiveness to myself more than another human these days. I’m learning to love a body that I could only find lacking. I’m having to pray for strength and discipline to continue. The road to physical health is leading to being whole mentally and emotionally.  As the pounds go, so does the need to erase what I don’t like.

So if you would honor me with your prayers, I’d be ever grateful. 

Know you are loved infinitely and abundantly

Regine

spandex

 Dressed

In spandex 

And lycra

As the 

Treadmill

And I

Are in

Harmony

As one

Foot

Goes

In front

 Of the other

And repeat

For the next

Thirty

Minutes

pink

 Belle of

The ball

The pink dress

That matches

Her lips

Diamond studs

Cartier bangle

And a smile

That can

Shatter ice

Love in the face

That give you

The world

If she

Were a

Part of yours

love in a letter

 I was speaking with a friend, and she said what are you hoping for, and I jokingly said snail mail, even if that’s what I wanted. A few hours later, I found a card addressed to me. It has just come in the mail, and let me tell you, I just wanted to cry happy tears. 

You are teaching

Me to say it

Tell people 

What I want

For the unexpected 

May happen

Something so simple, yet I will treasure that precious card for a long time. It reminded me that I’m loved in spite of myself. I also am reminded that when you don’t think God is paying attention, He is. 

Trust in the minute

And the grandest dreams

Won’t feel so daunting 

With His tender loving

Care

Derby

 The dirt

The ponies 

The hats

Ponchos 

And dresses

Capture 

Derby days 

Five things

 My Friday faves

My poodle. 16 years old. He just makes me happy. 

You all:  You never cease to amaze me. You lavish me with love. A love I don’t deserve but welcome. 

Healthy food:  I never knew you could taste so good. 

A good book:  I love getting lost in a good story

Thrifting:  the finds are good, but the people are better. Friendly and you never know what you’ll learn. 

Your turn?

Love yourself and one another. 

soul

 A little rest 

Before the test

Soothes my soul

Like a coat

Of Vaseline

Smoothing

Out the

Rough edges

Of my soul

Human condition

 Lord

There is

No rush

No hurry

No need

To panic

For all

Of me

Is covered

By all

Of you

Grant me

Peace

When my mind

Gets ahead

Of my body

When the body

No longer

Works as fast

As the mind

Peace

Over panic

Presence

Over

Desires

That hinder

The human condition. 

quiet

 Enjoying

The silence

Savoring

The contentment

Of stillness

Earth keeps

Running round

My gas tank

Is full

For the 

Quiet of

My mind

Is so welcome

To the frenetic

Pace of a 

World 

Clouded

In a state

Of neuroses 

jello

 A sweat session 

In humid heat

A glass of water

And some

Chunky ice

To cool

The bones

And muscles

That feel 

Like jello

happy

 Another day of workouts done. 

What is making you happy today?

A good tasting protein bar

Good music

Naps

My favorite magazines

Citrus

Yes

 Gracefully grateful 

For what 

I couldn’t 

Understand 

Gave me 

Compassion 

Knowing 

Suffering 

Would become 

My greatest 

Foe

But

Best teacher 

Five things

I’m grateful

For the callouses 

On my feet

To the meat

I eat

The books

I read

To the

Friends

I meet

Yes the callouses mean I’m walking a lot. And I’m grateful I’m able to do it. I’m grateful for the food I eat. And I’m grateful for all of you. 

Love yourself and one another. 

Revel in reality

 I was out yesterday. Someone asked me what I put on my face. Apparently, it was clear and smooth. My face was radiant. I never really pay attention. The question floored me. I don’t wear makeup. I don’t use cleansers or serums. I use sunscreen, chap stick and witch hazel. That’s it. When I thought about it, the only thing I could think of was that I was drinking water continuously, getting good sleep and eating better. 

I may be undergoing slow physical metamorphosis, my mind has started to realign. I still have bouts of anxiety. If you told me however, that at the onset of anxiety, I would stop in the middle of Wal-Mart and practice deep breathing, I would have laughed.  I now no longer laugh.   Yesterday I stopped in the middle of an aisle, and started to count as I took a breath. I did it for as long as it took to calm down. Thanks to my sister I have a watch now to track my heart rate and blood pressure among other things. And when the numbers are too high, I breathe, release until the readings stabilize. 

My physical body and mental state must work as a cohesive unit. I’m finally paying attention. I’m having to accept the deck I’ve got as painful as it is. I must love what I’ve been given. My body doesn’t give me luxury to fantasize. Reality is the only place for me today. I’m having to accept that my body needs more water, better food to maximize energy and more sleep than I care to admit.  I’m reminded that I’ve got a medical device that gives medicine to my body 24 hours a day. Once I remembered that reality, I decided to give myself a break. 

Grateful is being able to walk each aisle of the grocery store, and not be winded. Grateful is the ability to buy baby carrots and hummus. Relishing that healthy food can be nourishing and satisfying. Grateful is finding peace in what I used to hate. 

living well

 Vegetable soup

On a rainy day

Rain to

Water 

The crops

Is so needed

Water

To wash

My troubles

And cares

Away

As my body

Needs

An infusion

Of water

From 

The Living Well

Parched from

A world

That makes

No sense 

These days

cradled hug

 A scrap

Of silken fabric

Drapes my body

Like a bear hug

And my lips

Curve upward

Knowing

You cradle 

My wholeness

From

Head to toe

human connection

 Let me

Seek joy

Find hope

Be loving

In graceful mercy

For the blessing 

Of life

Is to give

Goodness

Freely

For all

Who earnestly 

Desire

Human connection 

Hot

 Cuddled

In a blanket

As the melodies

Act as

A lullaby

For an

Afternoon nap

Joggers

A sweatshirt

As the 

Air conditioning

Cools my

Body

From a heat

That is 

Too hot

For a Spring day

the Kingdom

 The water flows

And the earth smiles

As I look above

For further instructions

Seek the Kingdom

Through

The face

Of the Almighty

May my desire

Be the one

You have 

For me

Sacrificial Sunday

 Happy Easter blessings lovelies. 

May His sacrifice 

Bring assurance 

That He

Is always

There

Ready for us

To ask

Amen

 Sun’s out

Flowers bloom

And all

God’s children 

Rejoice

Because 

Out of 

The tomb

He arose

Good Friday

 Lord,

What you did today would change history, but it’s what you do everyday that leaves me speechless. You love the saint, sinner and those in between. You grace me with Your Peaceful Presence when mine is without. You allow me to live a life people like me aren’t usually afforded. And I don’t know or why you’ve blessed me. As I was undergoing another procedure this week, as the needle was inserted into my abdomen, I was stressed. As I watched the medicine enter my body, I felt myself start to relax. 

Yes, you do get used to needles. You look forward to them more than candy. 

Thank you Lord. Your life for mine. Doesn’t make sense. Your goodness and grace make life worth living. 

Love yourself and one another. 

confidence

 Find light

Soak it in

Emulate it

Let it

Seep

Into roots

Deeply planted

That the soul

Isn’t rocked

When

The world

Seeks to shatter

Fragile confidence 

Love yourself and one another

steer the ship

 Thank you to a special friend who in the comments reminded me of the struggles I been through before, and the journey to health isn’t a scary one. It is one that will take time. Remembering this will be a daily challenge, but one I can handle. Let my fear build faith. Suffering increase resolve. And weakness become strength. 

You speak

When I’m 

Not watching

It takes

A kind

But truthful

Word

To right 

A ship

Veering off course

give

 I must say thank you for all your support on my journey to health. I’m so humbled and grateful. Today I received a gift I wasn’t expecting. God does work when I least expect it. You all give me a boost of confidence. A sense that I’m truly loved. It’s real. Not just lip service. You live it out. You give it willingly. Thank you so much. 

My heart 

Swells with joy

As I’m reminded

Life can

Be good

With the

Right 

People

In it

love and food

 I don’t know how many of you know I’ve been on a low to no processed food diet for two weeks. I mainly drink water or hot lemon water. I’ve also been exercising for an hour and thirty minutes daily. Stretching and cardio.  This has not been easy, but very effective. The weight loss is slow, but it is there. My sleep is much improved. I just wish anxiety would cease, but one step at a time. 

Did I want to do this?  No, but it was necessary. My body can’t hold as much weight. I also have to wear braces that are heavy enough already. I need endurance and stamina to keep going which I’ve not had in awhile. The disabled body is not as sturdy as it once was. It is not forgiving either. 

I’ve felt sluggish, tired, cranky, achy and every other ailment one can think of at the moment. I was in denial. Some days I still am. I also realized I don’t need to be skinny, but I need to be fit. I need to feel good in the body I was given. I’ve asked God for another one, but I’ve been flatly denied. 

It also helps that I have a cheering section rooting me on. When you have others invested in your progress it makes a difference. Or maybe I got tired of fighting something I wasn’t going to win. It takes a long time to exit denial and go forward in acceptance. 

I don’t know why I’m telling you this other than subconsciously I want a bigger cheering section, and maybe sharing some healthy recipes with me. 

Love yourself and one another

today

 On this day

Calm my heart

Soothe my soul

And let anxiety

Melt

Like 

Stubborn ice

pink

 Pink toes

Red heart

Chocolate kiss

And a stroll

In green grass

As I smell

Purple hydrangeas

What are you up to this weekend?

green

 Sunshine 

Fried eggs

On a Friday

Looking

For a bright spot

In which

To hang

My hat

The dirt

An oasis

Of truth

It stains

And leaves

Purity

Hinging

On a prayer

The Hanes tee

Tie dyed

With red clay

And cut grass

With a smattering 

Of ripe tomatoes 

To make

A colorful explosion

smile

 Smile

God

Has you

When 

All

Is fraught

With tense

Unexpected emotions

Stand

 Stand

Don’t slump 

Or slouch

When

Comfort is 

Stripped

In order

To refine 

Fishing

 This is my nephew Mason. 

good things

 Enjoying a good workout on the treadmill

Cottage cheese and pineapple

Dreaming of planning trips

Dancing to good music

Cheering on my nephew doing his YouTube videos. I’m trying to figure out how to post them on here. Any suggestions?  I’m not very tech savvy. In the meantime it’s MK Outdoors. It’s a red circle with a fish in it. #mkoutdoors

It would make my day if you could check it out. Thank you. 

Love yourself and one another

obedience

 Lord,

You are bringing me to my knees. And in doing so, you are blessing me even when it doesn’t feel like one. Getting healthy physically is a marathon not a sprint. I’m having to be disciplined, and not reject correction. In this process, I’m realizing a healthy body leads to a sound mind. That fact is priceless. Could you pray that I find joy in the process of growing through trial. 

Lord

Strengthen me

In your ways

That finding

Obedience

To your will

Not a chore

But an

Immense privilege

That cannot be

Replaced

By a desire

To satiate

The desires

Of a sinful

Flesh

pop

 Lazy Saturday

AC on

And 

A show

With popcorn 

To boot

hydrangea

 The sun rains

Down

On my soul

And showers

My spirit

With a calm

Peaceful joy

The sunflower

Stands tall

The hydrangeas 

And the 

Blue hue

Beg to differ

Be noticed

And appreciated

As nature

Bends

To your will

Mine is 

Matching actions

To my words

Five

 Friday five

Loving my workouts for my mental health 

Hooked on lemon water

Loving finding new books to read

Loving Baseball and Hockey

Loving looking at fashion and beauty products

My snail mail addiction is going strong. I love it. Receiving and giving it. 

Love yourself and one another. 

garden grow

 Be brave

Dear one

Trust one

Be honest

Ask for help

And watch

Him deliver

As the flowers

Grow under

The care

Of the gardener

Trust the

Gardener

Of your soul

To do the same

Asking for help

Isn’t weakness

It’s acknowledging 

You don’t know

It all

Use me

Trust me

And find peace

In my correction

And timely guidance

Love yourself and one another

Heart

 Cool drizzle 

Welcome 

Water the flowers 

As you 

Do for

My heart 

Mulch

 Mountains views

And blue skies 

Planted flowers

Around mulch

Make a

Spring day 

Worth remembering 

Mountain

 Mountain peaks 

Seek thee

For peace 

Is found 

In the heights 

And depths 

Of 

His glory 

Nature

 Smell of rain

Smell of flowers

Pollinate

Grow

And nature

Be the star

Of my show

Wash

 Take in

The wind blowing 

Hair sideways 

Drink that coffee 

On an overcast day 

And let

The prospect 

Of rain 

Wash away 

Every complaint 

That brews

Because 

It’s been 

Simmering 

Too long 

Five things

 Five things 

Yay for a Yankees win

Our region could use prayers for rain 

My love language is snail mail

Having an apple for breakfast 

I’m loving hot lemon water 

Your turn?

Wandering

 May your love

Be that 95 mile

An hour fastball

That I know 

Is coming 

Yet can’t escape 

Its arrival 

May 

Your love

Be the homerun 

That soars

With the 

Determination 

To defy

Logic

And makes

Hearts

Wandering 

In wonder 

head to toe

 God 

As you 

Let the flowers

Bloom

Your protection

Covers me

From

Head to toe

Breathe

 Breathe in

Breathe out

Lord

Let me

Not look 

At delays

As broken promises 

the hue of spring

 The rain 

Has come

And the cleansing refreshment

Is most welcome

In times

I cannot understand 

Let the crops 

Grow

And flourish 

Under your 

Watchful eye

As the flowers

Shine

Is hues

Of pinks

And purples

The colors

Of beauty

And purity

Reign supreme

Sunday

 Starting to get back to me. I’m grateful for the procedure. I can sit again without pain. I can stand and walk without pain. I didn’t say much but the past month has been excruciating with little to no sleep. After the procedure was the first time I slept through the night. I’m still taking it easy. Resting as necessary. I’m blessed beyond measure, but I recognize the need to be deliberate and careful. Don’t feel bad for me, I realize that my body will go through ebbs and flows like the ocean waves. I’m learning though not of my will what patient in affliction means. I’ve had to delay certain wants. In a world of instant gratification, I relearn what delays can mean. 

Trusting You even when I don’t get what I want when I want. The musings of a petulant child. One that is given correction. I’m being redirected. Don’t know if I like it, but I will obey. Let me be fruitful in the valleys. Love you Lord. 

love

 Sun is out

And each day

You tell me

My plans

Are not yours

I wait 

Until

You clear

The path

For my

Feet

To meet

The earth

I seek

love

 Grateful

Grateful

Grateful

No other word

For it

My friend

Smile

On the throne

He reigns

hi

 In pain

Ordered to rest

Neuro procedure 

Doing well though

Creations

 Linen 

Caresses

Skin

As I embrace

A new season

A season

To plant

My hope

Into a harvest

Where joy 

Is reaped

After 

The sowing

Occurs

The crops

Grow into

Delicious creations

May I 

Learn

To do 

The same

mine

 As I rise

With air 

In the lungs 

Do words

Of praise 

Come from

My lips

I love

Thee

For I am

Yours

As you

Are mine

affection

 Sunshine

Sunshine

After the storm

You decided

To share

Your presence

With us today

The glitz

Glamour

Fame

And attention

Are no match

For your affection

uno

 God

Thank you

For the 

Grace

And mercy

No twisty

Spinners

Is a praise

Lord

May me heart

Rejoice

In the small

Every day

Reasons

I smile

In the past 

Two days

When I

Couldn’t find

You

You found me

In the eyes

Of a three

Year old

The wonder in

The eyes

The eyes

That shine

Sparkle

And leave

Me awed

When lips curve

Upward

Children

So pure

Yet full of mischief

Know how to live

And taught me

To do 

The same

Lord

I have no answer

For what You do

When I surrender

Without realizing it

Playing UNO for hours

Being present

The best present

For my anxious soul