Lord

 Lord,

It’s me. I’m here at your throne because when I feel I’ve reached self-sufficiency, You remind me that’s not the case. My need for help is evident. Honestly, I detest that fact. It’s no secret. I’ve not hidden my displeasure from view. It’s a matter of public record. Almost eleven years of blogging is here to be a visual time stamp. In eleven years, it’s the one thing that I’ve not gotten over. I despise asking for help. Asking for help is anxiety inducing. It’s a trigger point for me. In physical therapy, they’ve found that most of my upper left leg is central for trigger points. The tone there is immense. I don’t know how to explain tone with regards to Cerebral Palsy. Google was no help either. This is all to say mentally and physically I’m addressing what I swore I’d never do. Never say never. The truest words I’ve ever written. What I’m saying is that you will come to a point where the trigger becomes too big to ignore. Address it before it becomes the albatross. I learn everything the hard way. I complicate simplicity, and make simplicity look like scaling Everest. I accept this truth, until it no longer mirrors my reality. 

Love one another and self.