Character building

 Not everyday is a good one. With each day I’m a conqueror. Conquering the fear. Trying something new.  I don’t like change. Not many do. I understand that. Right now, I’m in the one day at a time space of time. I always like to plan. I’ve always said I wanted peace. No, I don’t. I read something, and it said I wanted control. I can’t follow Jesus well if I want control. And newsflash:  I really do want control, something I can’t have. 

I’m a control addict. Pure and simple. Taking the reins off everything is testing my faith. Do I trust Him or my own misgivings. Don’t answer that question. I know the answer. I want, want, and want some more. Well in this season, another day, same lesson. This is what you need. Your wants won’t be met, because your needs need to come first before I can give you your wants. 

Why do we ask the same questions, expecting different answers that we’re not going to get. Maybe I can change God’s mind. God didn’t come for my comfort, or my personal genie popping from the lamp, yet that’s what I demand. 

Lord, when will I learn.   Jesus isn’t giving me instant gratification. That character is being held to the fire. My legs are on fire. My muscles hurt so good after therapy. I hate it yet love it. Each bead of sweat is earned. Nothing like hard work being evidenced. 

Character building. I guess that’s the name of this season.