Right now

 Honestly, I’m exhausted. My body is holding up. Praise Hands. My mind is a wreck. I decided that in addition to morning prayers, I needed to pray about what I write here. It’s the first time it has occurred to me. Words have power, and I need to be honest, but careful in what I say. What I once prayed for with regard to this space, has exceeded my expectations. 

When you ask God to give you a purpose, He does. With that comes responsibility and contemplation. I continue to write here because for the most part I enjoy it.  I find that God keeps me coming back each day to minister to you, but mostly to myself. When you ask Him to rid of worldly idols, you find out your own flaws and biases. 

I’m also finding growing pains. It seems like I’m on my knees multiple times a day right now. I’m praying for myself and others. I’m so glad God doesn’t get tired of me. So right now, I need prayer to carry me. Right now, my mind can only process the present moment. My dreams and desires are still there, but I can’t focus there. I’m in a minute to minute state of living. 

I’m realizing my humanity, and my need for something greater. Life of surrender is happening without my permission. I’m allowing it because it’s my best option. It’s true. When you reach the end of yourself is when He works. 

So in this moment, I pray for the strength to continue surrendering. Continue hoping. Continue loving. And begin to give myself the grace I try to give to others. 

Love yourself and one another