Diary

 Dear Diary,

I haven’t visited you in awhile. You’ve collected dust bunnies upon dust bunnies. I decided I needed to return to my roots. I don’t know if I have any secrets left to keep. No crushes on boys I’d like to keep secret. Unless there is a Peyton Manning clone in my future. Got to love Southern boys who can throw a tight spiral. Anyhow, I digress. I’m here because I would like to reclaim my joy. It seems I loved the contentment it brought to my soul. 

Writing my deepest thoughts knowing you kept my innermost thoughts hidden. You had my back. To think a journal had such powers. What we believe as kids. I don’t know if I was gullible, but it was my guide. I could do doodle. I could color. You were my sounding board. Your pages were a lifeline until I lost the key to the lock. 

I still haven’t found that key. I wonder what secrets I wrote in there, but it gets me thinking. Thinking that maybe I should get another diary. Or just channel the mystery those pages could inspire. Now Lord, if it is Your Will speak to me like that diary did. If my problems could be solved by returning to the joys when. When I tore a page out of the note, and drew heart from corner to corner so happy with my creativity. 

Drawing hearts. What a thought. Draw my heart to be like Yours. Bring me joy that is hidden there. That I find when I’m on the edge. The precipice of despair. Or just needing a pick me up that doesn’t involve ice cream.